Bread on Fire
by Scandalous Sparkle
Summary: Prequel to my story The Doctor's Game. Katniss and Peeta are really married and Katniss is pregnant, but Peeta doesn't know it due to the hijacking. This is what happens during that time... T Rating to be safe...
1. Confusion

_My first fully Hunger Games fic so I hope you enjoy. I own nothing. This starts out about a month after Peeta is rescued from the Capitol and is still hijacked. Starts out with Peetas point of view and will probably switch back and forth between Peeta, Gale and Katniss._

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><p><em><strong>Peeta:<strong>_

_Katniss beams as I open the door and let her into my house. It's the first time she's been over in a while and it makes me happy to have her alone at my house and not be at her crowded house. She looks beautiful, absolutely radiant with her healthy pregnant glow. Her hair and makeup have been done specially for this occasion, making me not feel so over done being dressed up in my nicest clothes._

_She goes straight into the living room where the fire is roaring in the fireplace, shrugging out of her jacket. I can see she's in a pale blue gown, it's tight on her around her midsection, but I can't help but think how perfect she looks. She looks over her shoulder at me as I shut the front door, feeling a little nervous. I watch as she rests her hands on the small bump of her stomach, almost cradling it protectively. She knows I would never hurt her or let harm come to her or the life within it, the two of them are my world._

_I gesture for her to kneel down in front of the fireplace and I grab the plate from the coffee table before kneeling in front of her. I tell her I know it's not official what we're about to do to anyone else, but to me it will always be to which she agrees eagerly. I take the bread dough on the plate and place it on a roasting stick, Katniss' hand joining mine as I tremble a little bit. I look lovingly into her eyes as we vow to only love one another and be true to each other until our dying breaths._

_We hold the bread dough over the fire until it is a nice golden brown. We let it cool a moment before we feed each other chunks of it. We seal the ceremony with a long kiss, my hand reaching down to join hers on her stomach where I feel a small nudge. Even such a small nudge like it was makes me grin like a fool and feel happier than ever._

" _Yes, daddy loves you too sweetheart." I whispered with a small laugh as I had leaned down to lightly kiss her stomach, loving the thing within it with all my heart and soul, just like I did the beautiful woman carrying it and sacrificing her body to give it to me. " Daddy can't wait to see you and hold you in his arms, but you need to just spend the next few months getting bigger and stronger, alright?" I tell her stomach before looking up and giving her a playful grin as she laughs at me._

I blink a few times and stare up at my ceiling as I slowly wake up. I can't believe what I've just dreamt, I know it wasn't real, there's no way on God's green earth it could have been. I feel sad though and I can't shake it. I feel like I've forgotten the most important thing in my life, but I don't know what it is. I know it has nothing to do with Katniss because she isn't a girl I know much about or care anything for. I know it's not real also because I've seen Katniss and sure she's put on a few extra ponds, but not as much as she should have if she really was pregnant.

I lie there a few more minutes and let my mind go over the little bit that I do know for sure, but I still come back blank. I have no idea why I feel sad to forget something that couldn't have possibly been real. He wasn't even sure if Katniss could have a baby since she was a creation of the capitol. Katniss was in no way near motherly material anyway, she was too vicious and I was positive I could never love anything that was half of her like I had in my dream.

I throw the covers off and get changed into the ridiculous uniform of thirteen. I had thought the outfits I'd had to wear for the capitol had been bad, but these were just down right terrible! Honestly was it too much to ask for to be allowed to wear a regular pair of pants and shirt? I'm not even a soldier! I'm just the boy who was hijacked by the capitol. I wasn't vain, but I was just easily agitated and the clothes were one of my ways to take out my frustration.

When I'm dressed and my boots are laced up I go to the one pace I'm expected to be, the hospital. I've been in my own compartment for about three days now, but unlike everyone else, I'm not sharing it with someone else. I've been told that they know the truth and that I'm supposed to be sharing it with my wife, but I don't understand it since I'm not married. I know I told the people at one point that Katniss and I were married, also tacking onto that that Katniss was pregnant, but from watching her terrible reactions on TV, they're obviously false. Katniss isn't a very good actress or liar for the people on camera, but she does a hell of a job of it off screen.

I try not to think anymore of Katniss, she confuses and enrages me and I have enough trouble as it is. I go straight to where my psychologist is and he's confused at the sight of me since my appointment isn't until later. He quickly moves to hide some photographs and papers, but I think nothing of it as I take a seat on his couch. The man hasn't really helped me or made much of an impression on my life so I can't even remember his name, it just helps make everyone believe I'm ' normal' again.

" Peeta, what a surprise. Are you feeling alright?" He asked urgently as he eyed me suspiciously. He's a short, balding old man and is kind of funny looking. He's thin and has no muscle definition and he's always twitchy like a nervous rat or mouse. He's another figure in my life that confuses me because I can't understand a thing he says.

" No… I had one of those dreams again. One that feels like a lost memory. You told me to come to you when I have dreams like it, have one of my venom attacks or a flashback." I explain with a heavy sigh as I run my fingers through my hair.

He gets out his pad of paper and moves to sit across from me like usual. He looks concerned and it makes me roll my eyes. " Tell me about it." He instructs. It's more like a command rather than a request and normally I would argue to not share it, but I'm not in the mood. There's something about his tone too that lets me know he's in a rush and that I'm just annoying him more than anything.

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose, my dream already fading far too quickly from my mind. " It had to deal with the mut- sorry, Katniss." I start. I'm not really sorry that I started to call Katniss a mutt, I never am, I'm only sorry to have started to offend him since everyone seems to love Katniss except me. " Anyway, we were doing this toasting ceremony from twelve, getting married to be exact, and she was already pregnant with my baby." I shudder at the thought of every starting a family with such a vile woman as Katniss.

The doctor writes it all down, a scowl on his face to show he's displeased with something. " And you're positive this is just a dream and in no way real?" He presses, not looking up from his paper.

I'd almost kill to see what he's always writing about me, but I never ask since I just want to be done with him anyway. I feel like my hatred towards Katniss is my own and not a creation of the capitol, but no one believes me so I'm stuck seeing this little man until he clears me, something I don't see him doing for a while. " Yes I'm positive. Why would I ever marry her, let alone sleep with Katniss? I hate her and have only ever hated her. I would never start a family with her! I was so happy, excited even to be marrying her and having a baby in a short time, completely not like me at all." I tell him, feeling exasperated and at the edge of my sanity.

" Of course… I'm sorry, but I think you need to reexamine your dream. Write down the details and just read them over and over again to make absolute certain. There are things you're missing still Peeta and you need to remember them." He tells me as he closes his journal and stands up. " Today is just not a good day to be here, I have other things I need to tend to. Perhaps if you just write down your dreams and when you have attacks? If you do that then we can examine them further in a few days' time when you come back. For now though, I really need you to leave Peeta." He tells me in a rushed voice and it's then that I notice he's more jittery and on edge than he had been in the past.

I don't argue though, a sense of relief washing over me from a few days freedom from him. I'm curious why he seems to want to rush me out of the room, but I nod and get out of there quickly. I let out a large breath as the door closes behind me and I lean against the door. Freedom! Sweet, sweet freedom!

I take a moment to just let the joy move through me before I start to head out of the hospital. I'm just about out when I bump into someone. I start to apologize, but stop when I register who it is I've carelessly ran into.

" Watch where you're going Mellark." Gale Hawthorne muttered as he crossed his arms and I took a step back.

" I'll keep that in mind." I tell him with a small huff. I don't like Gale, I'm not sure what it is, but I really hate him. He makes me feel irrational and jealous, I want to hit him, break his arm or jaw, just make him pay for something that I don't even know.

" Best to… You're needed in command. They need you to do a propo." He grumbles and grabs my arm, dragging me away.

I once again don't feel like fighting and just go along with him. " Alright?" I didn't know why they needed me to do a stupid propo, that was Katniss and Finnick's jobs, not mine.

Gale didn't say anything else until we got down to where they were filming and he held me back in the shadows. " Don't make a noise." He told me, his gaze locked just ahead of us where it was all lit up.

Katniss sat on a bench, her eyes down on her hands in her lap. Finnick and Annie were sitting to the side, Finnick's arms protectively wrapped around Annie as she sat in his lap. I knew Annie was pregnant, Finnick had been filled with so much joy and pride that it had erupted into a shot of ' I'm going to be a daddy!' that had made everyone laugh, even me.

I was brought out of these thoughts though when a woman knelt down across from Katniss, trying to catch her attention. " Well Annie and Finnick just told us about how the Hunger Games effected their love, what do you have for us Katniss?" She asked in a calm voice, as if she were trying to comfort Katniss.

" Annie and Finnick weren't the only ones that had a love brought forth and ripped apart by the Hunger Games." Katniss whispered and I could see tears running down her cheeks silently.

I had no idea that mutts could cry.

" What are you talking about?" The woman pressed, seeming a bit lost.

" I mean Peeta, Gale and I." Katniss clarified.

" Your cousin Gale?" The woman asked, scandalized by the idea of an incest relationship.

Katniss shook her head violently. " No, Gale's not my cousin. Gale's in no way related to me. He was my best friend, is my best friend. I've owed him and Peeta my life time and time again…" She sighed as she slowly looked up at the woman.

" Tell us about it." The woman told her, a hush falling over the room, my full attention on Katniss for once.

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><p><em>Hope you enjoyed my intro, please review me to let me know how I did!<em>


	2. Remembering

_**Peeta**_

I'm silent as Katniss wipes at the tears on her face. " I've known both guys all my life, Peeta and I were in the same class and then Gale and I grew up in the Seam. I didn't know Gale personally until after my father died. His father had been killed in the mining explosion as well and he had to support his mother, two brothers and a new born sister like I was supporting my mother and Prim." She started out strong, but slowly her voice was growing sadder and sadder. Gale shifted nervously, obviously not liking that she talked about him.

" I found him one day in the woods, he started calling me Catnip affectionately after that because I was so intimidated by him that I could barely say my name. I had heard all about him at school, he had quite the reputation even at such a young age." She said with a small laugh and a wicked smile appeared on Gale, leaving no doubt what he was thinking about. " I always imagined that we'd get married, it was kind of expected of us because of how much time we spent together. We were pretty much inseparable outside of school." Tears were really starting to fall down Katniss' face and she'd given up hope of wiping them away. " It was all just expected of us until they called Prim's name and I took her place in the games.."

The woman behind the camera could tell that Katniss was struggling and stood up. " How about we give you a break Katniss? We can come back to you after Peeta." She told Katniss as she walked over and wrapped her arms around Katniss.

" Peeta's here." Gale said, clearing his throat and pulling me out of the shadows. Katniss dropped her gaze and rested her hands on her stomach, shrugging the woman's arms off her shoulders. Gale knelt in front of her and helped wipe a few tears away. " It's alright Catnip, I'm here though… I'm here now and everything's better." He whispered, making my stomach twist in painful knots at how tender he was being with Katniss.

" I'm fine… I'm fine. Honest." She tells them as she takes a deep breath. She didn't sound so sure, but I couldn't challenge it because I didn't know her very well. She has still refused to look at me, looking everywhere but in my direction, making me curious of just how scared of me she is. " It's only Leta… She keeps me up at night now and is driving me insane." She told Gale with a small laugh as he caressed her cheek, smiling weakly.

Gale laughed and kissed her forehead. " Soon enough she won't." He promised her softly as he pulled her into his arms for a brief embrace.

" I know." She laughed softly as the woman got up and walked over to me, blocking my view of Gale and Katniss as they started to whisper to each other too low for me to hear.

The woman smiles and holds out her hand. " It's nice to finally get you down here Mr. Mellark, I've been trying to get you to do a propo for a couple of days now. I know this is a lot to ask of you, but for this propo, it might be best if we have you sit next to Katniss. I don't expect you to be loving or anything, but I'd like for you to seem at ease around her." The woman told me as I shook her hand, her words freezing my blood in my veins.

" Excuse me?" I demanded as I looked her in the eyes, searching for any hint of a joke.

" I agree… Are you crazy?" Gale's voice snapped as he moved quickly by the woman's side. Gale looked furious and it made me want to smirk and agree with anything the woman suggested just to keep him angry. It really was ridiculous how much I hated him and wanted to ensure his discomfort without any prior knowledge of him.

" Just relax Mr. Hawthorne. I've taken enough off of you and I'm not going to allow you to push me around anymore. I have Katniss' best interest at heart, now if you want to be allowed to stay on the sidelines then you're going to have to keep your mouth shut." The woman told him fiercely, actually making me smile.

Gale frowned deeply as he saw the smirk on my face, but I just shrugged. " I'm fine. I've been going through a ton of therapy and I think I can control myself." I tell him with an annoyed sigh.

" Her bruises have only just healed from her throat. If you leave another mark on her, so help me God Mellark, I will make sure you can't have any more children and will make sure you never forget what you did for the rest of your life…" Gale threatened and I could tell that he meant it.

I was confused by what he meant by anymore children, I didn't have any to begin with. I let it go though and stepped past the two to take a seat beside Katniss on the bench. She was tense and seemed to be holding her breath as I laid my arm across the back of the bench behind her, crossed my legs and seemed totally at ease. " Don't worry mutt. Unlike you, I'm not going to act when unprovoked." I tell her with a small laugh, giving her an easy smile despite my cruel words.

Katniss said nothing and didn't seem to relax, making the lady in charge sigh and roll her eyes. " I swear Katniss, it's always a struggle with you." She sighed before walking away from Gale to stand in front of them. " The whole of Panem knows you two are having trouble because Peeta's been hijacked. We want to show them that you're still at least standing by each other's sides. I just want you to tell us one of you memories Peeta, any of the good ones you still have that the Capitol has somehow ruined in one way or another. Not by the venom, but like Annie and Finnick's relationship, Katniss' love, something like that." The woman instructed.

I closed my eyes and nodded, sighing softly. When she backs off and says they're rolling, I feel Katniss relax back against the bench and my arm. I don't flinch this time when she touches me, it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I've eaten a few times with her around and she visited me when I was alone in the hospital so I am able to control myself somewhat in her presence.

With my eyes closed, I let my mind drift back over what I know to be true. _My name is Peeta Mellark. I am the youngest of three. My father was a great man, my mother unaffectionate. I lived in District twelve which is now gone along with my family. I used to love Katniss Everdeen, we were married and she was pregnant…_

The last part makes me snap my eyes open. I look to Katniss with wide eyes, trying not to believe it. Suddenly I'm rubbing my temples, a terrible pain coming on. I heard Katniss saying my name and asking what was wrong, concern in her voice like I'd never heard from before. I shut my eyes again and try to block her voice out and contrite only not letting the oncoming memory takes me over completely.

' _No, you have… In the arena. When you were dying…´ _I think as I squeeze my eyes tighter shut and try to shake off the thoughts. It does me no good and I am 'attacked' by an unwanted memory.

_Katniss is stomping out of my living room. She's not happy with me, she's not wanting to even consider the possibilities. I set the small box down on the table and chase after her, catching her as she's struggling to get her boots on, sitting on the bench by my front door. Never in my life have I been so happy she wore her hunting boots. That at least buys me a few extra seconds._

" _I don't know where you would get such a silly idea Peeta. There is no way I'm taking that test!" She shouts at me, frustrated and unable to get the laces right on her boot. I've never seen her struggle with the laces before so I know she's scared, she's also starting to tremble._

_I let out a small sigh and kneel down in front of her, taking her hands in mine to stop her. It's breaking my heart to see her so distressed. " I didn't mean to scare you Katniss, but we just have to be realistic. You told me yourself you were late, you haven't been feeling well. This morning you got violently ill when you smelt the cheese buns I'd made for you. You never get sick from those." I pointed out softly as I looked down at her hands cupped in mine._

" _It's nothing. I don't think it's what you think it is." She whispers as she looks down at our hands as well, pressing her forehead to mine._

" _What harm is there sweetheart? If it comes up negative then that's that. If it comes back positive we can deal with it then." I promise her as I close my eyes._

_Katniss is silent for a moment before she pulls back with a small huff. " I'm only doing this so I can say I told you so." She tells me firmly._

_I can't help but laugh as her and shake my head. " I hope for both our sakes that's true because I don't want to have to face your mother and tell her you're pregnant." I tell her as I take her boot off and help her to her feet._

_I grab the test and give it to her, my hands are shaking too as she grasps it. I say a silent prayer and watch as she stomps back to one of my bathrooms. I lean against the wall and try not to let the hope rise up in me. I would love nothing more than to be a father, I think she would make an excellent mother too. My oldest brother Rye just found out his wife was pregnant as well so this would be a wonderful surprise to my father and Liam, the middle child of the family. The only down sides were that I knew Katniss didn't want children and her mom was going to kill me. It seemed worth it though to me, I wanted to be a father, especially when the mother was as perfect as Katniss._

_I smirk a bit as I think about what my mother had told Rye, Liam and I when we had been younger. Mellark boys were hard on their mothers, it was a fact she had learned with my brothers and I, my grandmother Mellark had warned her and all the past generations of Mellark woman had been warned what to expect if the baby was a boy. Katniss had gotten so sick she'd been dizzy and hadn't been able to leave the bathroom for a half hour. When she had finally left the bathroom, she had just fallen asleep on the couch for most of the day, nothing able to wake her up. Classic signs of a Mellark boy according to my mother, classic signs that I'm about to be a dad if my mother is to be believed._

_Katniss slammed the door and stomped past me. I looked at her as if she was someone fragile and she plopped down on the couch. " Before you ask, I have to wait three minutes for the results to show up." She told me with a huff._

_Three minutes and I would know if I was going to be a father._

_Three minutes and everything could change in my life._

" _Katniss are you nervous?" I whisper as I move to sit beside her and pull her into my arms. The test is sitting on the coffee table and I have to force myself to ignore it or else I will want to stare at it for the next three minutes._

" _Yes… What if I am and I'm not a good mother?" She whispers back, her voice trembling._

_I can't help but laugh and bury my face in her hair, taking in her scent of woods and berries. " Katniss Everdeen… You are the girl on fire, you have faced the Hunger Games and came out alive, face death and you've even raised Prim! How can you think you'll make a terrible mother?" I shake as I laugh, I know she's upset, but I can't help it. " You're going to be protective, strong, sweet, caring and you're going to be very sympathetic to them."_

_Katniss is trembling and shakes her head. " You're going to be a fabulous father Peeta. You're going to be the best father in the world, even better than my own father. You deserve to be happy with a family with a woman more deserving of you." She tells me as she pulls back to wipe at her tears._

_I smile and shake my head, wiping at the tears, more laughter escaping me. " I couldn't ask for a better woman Katniss." I tell her honestly._

_She blushes and turns her head to look down at the table beside us. Three minutes have passed and this is the moment of truth. She suddenly frowns deeply and I think it's because she's as certain as I am that it will a positive test. When she opens her mouth though, it's not what I want to hear, a reminder of a memory, a conversation I've tried so hard to forget._

" _It might be Gales." She whispers as I reach out for the test and see the word positive._

" Hey bread boy are you still in there?" Gales voice shouts as I'm shaken violently, my eyes opening to look at Katniss' frightened expression. I know I didn't hurt her, but Gale is shaking me like I'm nothing more than a ragdoll.

" Yes." I snap and push his arms off me. I look at Katniss with such an intense look that she pales and reaches a hand to rest on her stomach. _' She knows I remember.'_ I think as I lean forward and grab her by her shoulders, ignoring Gale's protests. It's obvious I'm not having an attack so he won't do anything to harm me unless he absolutely have to.

" Katniss, what happened to it." I growl, breathing heavily as I tighten my grip on her shoulders.

It takes her a second and I can tell she's struggling for the words. " I-I lost it. In the explosion, I lost him." She whispered, fresh tears coming to her eyes.

" That's enough! You're upsetting her!" I hear Finnick yell from behind me and suddenly I'm flat on my back on the ground. I look up at Finnick and Gale, towering over me, but full attentions on Katniss. In that moment I want to apologize, to hold her in my arms and tell her it's alright. I don't blame her for losing our son.

I shake my head and jump to my feet. I can't believe the thoughts that have just crossed my mind. Of course I don't want to hold her or apologize. I can be civil with her, but it's her fault our son was never born, I know it is. " If you need me, I'll be in my compartment." I grumble and turn to leave.

As I reach the elevator, I can hear Katniss sobbing and Gale telling her it's alright. That I needed to know. For what feels like the first time, I actually agree with Gale Hawthorne.

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><p><strong><em>Thank you so much to all my lovely readers! I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! More to come soon though, going to change the PoV, just felt like doing Peeta twice in a row because I love writing from his hijacked view... (:<em>**


	3. Liar

_**Katniss**_

I let Gale and Finnick try and comfort me, but I'm thankful when Annie sighs and walks over to sit beside me. Annie is the only person who can truly comfort me right now, she's the only one qualified enough because she shares my pain.

" Boys, give her some air. It's the baby hormones for crying alright, she's not crumbling into a little million pieces yet. They make everything ten times worse honest, if she wasn't so pregnant, this wouldn't even bother her I bet." Annie told them as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close. I want to tell her she's wrong, but I can't lie to either of the three of them. The only ones who might believe me are the propo crew and they left shortly after Peeta.

" Annie's right. Leta's really just making me crazy right now. I'm eight and a half months pregnant so I'm just overly emotional." I explained with a small laugh as I felt another kick. Whenever Leta heard Peeta's voice, she kicked and sometimes it was impossible not to show any response to it. She still hasn't settled since Peeta had spoken upon arriving on the set and it was driving me insane. _ ' Like Gale promised, soon enough this will be over.'_ I think as I stroke my stomach a little. Soon she would be squirming in my arms and not playing soccer with my ribs.

" Exactly! You should know all this by now! I'm only a month along and I'm already really starting to feel the hormones take effect." Annie told them as she held out her hand to Finnick.

Finnick laughed and pulled out a baggie of sugar cubes and placed a couple in her hand. " I hadn't even noticed love." He tells her and kisses her nose. Annie craved sugar cubes, but because they were bad for her, she was only allowed a small amount a day and Finnick was in charge of making sure she didn't eat so many.

I look away as I feel my chest start to ache. They had been married for two weeks, but she had gotten pregnant the night they had brought her home. The doctor's hadn't been able to keep the two separated and their passions had taken over them. Now they were going to live happily ever after and have a large happy family. I envied them.

Gale knew exactly how I felt and took my hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. Gale had denied the fact that I'd been pregnant when I told him, he ranted and raved that it couldn't possibly be his. That was until he saw our daughter and heard her heartbeat, changing everything. Gale had been by my side every second after that, my protector and he was more excited than ever for the baby to be in the world. He didn't even seem to care that it was unknown about who the father really was.

I sigh and get up, Annie, Finnick and Gale watching me closely. " I'm not nearly as fragile as I should look. I'm fine, I just want to go lay down." I tell them as I roll my eyes, thinking about how over protective they are. I have no idea what's going to happen when I have Leta or even when Annie gets to this part of her pregnancy because she's really more fragile than I am.

Gale gets up, but I shake my head. " I can do this alone Gale. You have other things to take care of. The odds of my water breaking now are so slim that there's nothing to worry about." I tell him with a small laugh. I kiss his cheek before going to the elevator.

Once in the elevator, I let out a huge sigh of relief. I never let it show in front of Gale just how much pain I'm in. I may have an almost magical belt from Cinna, but it does nothing other than hide my rather large bump. My back still hurt, my feet were sore, I was overly emotional, I never had much energy and I still got violently ill. I was so many different vitamins that it was almost crazy, I also had a few vials of cough medicine to help me sleep at night because it seemed I only got really sick at night and couldn't sleep easily. The nightmares still plagued me, Gale wasn't as good at fighting them off like Peeta was.

" Stop it." I growled as I looked at my reflection in the elevator ceiling. " Gale is not Peeta and you need to stop comparing them." I command myself. I know it's not fair to compare them because they're two separate people. I just can't help myself at times from doing it, it's too easy.

Peeta was better than Gale in most ways, but I was sure it was just because I was so bias to him. Peeta had helped me in so many ways. Peeta had been angry to find out I'd gotten drunk and slept with Gale, but he had forgiven me after a short while. He'd held me when I'd cried and told me that everything was going to be alright. Gale had told me I was crazy and that obviously it couldn't have been his so Peeta had stepped up completely. He had actually been thrilled to learn I was pregnant amazingly.

" Stop it… He's not coming back!" I snap to myself and force my eyes on the door to the elevator as it gets closer to my floor. It doesn't help the memories that start to replay in my mind, the ones I still cling so desperately when I feel all hopes lost and it's almost impossible for me to get up out of bed.

I smile as I think about everything Peeta had done for me. I can't help the small, almost depressed sounding sigh that escapes me as I imagine the nursery Peeta had at his house in victor's village. It's a cerulean blue, it almost matches his eyes. There's a beautiful white crib, rocking chair and changing table waiting to welcome our son and I into the new world that our son would bring us. There are stuffed animals of all sorts of woodland creatures in one of the rooms corners. One of the walls has a mural of the baby's family tree, Peeta and his family branches tangling in with mine all leading down to a nest where he intends to paint our newborn son. I am at least happy that his house was untouched by the bombs so when he goes home at the end of the war, he can see how happy he once was. He probably will never paint the baby in the nest and will get rid of any proof of what the room was meant for when he returns, but I can hope at least.

" There you are, I was just about to come searching for you!" I hear a familiar voice exclaim with a sigh of relief, breaking into my thoughts.

I smile as I look at Plutarch Heavensbee. I kind of held a fondness for this man. He was more like a grandfather to me than an actual father, but maybe that was because of the way he protected me, stood up for me and the things he smuggled in for me as well as Haymitch has taken over the role of my father no matter how much I want to hate him. I never thought I would care so deeply for Plutarch, but he's been my number one ally since arriving in thirteen and a true life saver.

" Am I in trouble with Coin again?" I ask worriedly as I step out of the elevator and lean against a wall. Coin and I have never gotten along, but maybe that has something to do with the state I had arrived in. No one had actually believed I was pregnant, married or even in love with Peeta so I was in a terrible state and had to be sedated heavily the first few days. A lot.

" No, Coin hasn't even mentioned you today surprisingly." He tells me with a small laugh as he starts digging in his pockets.

" Shocker." I mutter as I roll my eyes. It seems that Coin has had nothing better to do than to rant and rave about me ever since I had arrived. Personally I blame Cinna for it, but I know it's not fair. I can't blame a dead man for my own mistakes and it does no good to blame Snow or Peeta either.

" Here you go darling, these will make you feel better." He tells me as he holds out a small white bag to me.

I give him a skeptical look as I take it from him, already knowing what's in it. When he gives me these bags with the one thing in the world I'm craving more than anything else, I know it's going to lead to a touchy subject, at least that's what it leads to if I'm not already an emotional wreck. At the moment my eyes are dry, my temper is under control and I'm not scowling and news doesn't travel that fast in thirteen so there goes the second option. " What's going on?" I whisper as I look into the bag and see the little red cylinder candies. They're cherry flavored and come from some kind of jolly ranchers if the labels are to be believed.

" I was hoping maybe you'd come for a walk with me." He says cheerfully, but his smile leaves little doubt in my mind that he's worried about something.

I nod and pop one of the candies in my mouth. At first the flavor is a bit sour but as the sweet flavor spreads over my tongue, I feel Leta give a small nudge of satisfaction. They taste nothing like real cherries, but I can't get enough of them. The bag that Plutarch has given me will only last maybe an hour if I'm lucky and then I'll go back into my constant state of displeasure because I can't have more until the spies are contacted again. Only God and Coin knew when that was going to be…

" I ran into Peeta." He tells me matter-of-factly as he links our arms together and we walk through the hall and up towards the surface of thirteen.

" And?" I ask, trying to act like I don't care and force myself to concentrate on the heavenly taste of the sweet on my tongue and not the suddenly sharp pain in my chest.

" He was rather upset with you." He continues and I can feel his eyes on me, but my eyes are straight forward.

I just shrug and act like nothing bothers me about it but inwardly I'm kicking myself half to death. " When is he not Plutarch? He tried to kill me the second he got back and he's nothing but cruel to me. I can't recall a single moment he's been too pleased with me since he got rescued from the Capitol." I point out. I squash the thoughts of how he could be a little thankful that I got him out of that hell hole before they slip venomously from my tongue.

" Yes, well this was truly upset, not tracker jacker venom angry." He sighs and stops me once we're out in the fresh air. " Why did you tell him you lost his son? Was there another pregnancy we don't know about Katniss?" He asked, spinning me around so I'm facing him.

I drop my eyes from his though, not able to even look him in the eyes. " Gale and I agreed after he attacked me in the hospital and almost choked me to death, we weren't going to tell him about Leta. It's for his own good and her safety." I whisper, having to force the words out and fight back the heavy guilt.

Plutarch is silent as he lets it sink in and starts to loosen his grip on my shoulders a tiny bit. " Yes I can understand that completely, but why say you lost his son? I thought Leta was a girl and what do you think he's going to do when he sees you with the baby?" He points out and I fight the urge to roll my eyes at his obvious thought of my not thinking it through completely. I don't take it too personally though, my emotions did always cloud my judgment and were the reason I was even in thirteen, the same a s him.

" He thought we were going to have a son. Woman who get pregnant and have Mellark boys get very sick and it takes a rougher toll on their bodies, or so tradition showed. I showed every sign his mother had showed with him and his three brothers and his grandmother had showed with his father, but we were wrong. The ultrasound here showed that it's a girl, but he wasn't here for that so all we had to go on were old wives tales and his mother's words. By saying I lost his son, I'm not completely lying about Leta and he won't feel so guilty about attacking me if he remembers I was still pregnant during the games..." I explain before slowly raising my eyes up to his. " He won't see me with Leta because I'm not going to be around him with her. I don't want him to hurt her so Gale and I talked about that as well. Peeta isn't going to allowed to even hear her whimper. It's already worked out so Gale and I will be moved to another compartment once she's born, on a lower floor that he's not on and his doctors have cancelled all of his appointments for the next few weeks, just until after Leta's born and I'm released from the hospital." I tell him, making it clear that I'm not that dumb. I would never risk Peeta's conscious or Leta's health.

" So that's it then? You're shutting Peeta out of your life?" He asks surprised.

I nod and wrap my arms around myself, starting to feel myself fall apart. I hate it when it's mentioned out loud exactly what I'm doing to Peeta. " I don't like it, but it's the best option. It's best for him and it's best for Leta. I don't matter in this equation." I explain as I feel tears starting to form in my eyes.

Plutarch sighs and reaches into the bag, dropping a candy in my mouth and pulls me closer against him. " I hope you know what you're doing Katniss… I hope Gale knows how lucky he is to have you and one day Peeta realizes how stupid he's been not trusting us…" He whispers and I wrap my arms around him.

The sobs start as soon as the tears do. I hate that I've made the decision to keep Peeta away from the baby that is probably his. I hate myself more than anything else in the world because I love him still. He's my husband. The only man in this world I will ever love.

" He's going to hate me." I tell Plutarch through gasps for breath.

" No he won't darling, he'll understand why you've done this." Plutarch coos, trying to make me feel better as he strokes my hair. This is why I've grown attached to him and agreed to let Leta call him grandfather along with Haymitch.

" Yes he will… I told Gale I would marry him… We're getting married in two weeks." I choke out and let it known how much I hate the idea, but I don't have many options…

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><p><em><strong>Thank you so much to all my wonderful readers and those of you who have left me reviews already! This chapter was a bit of a struggle to write because I don't like Katniss very much, but I hope it;ll keep you wanting to come back for chapter four!<strong>_


	4. Selfish

_**Gale**_

I gave Katniss the rest of the morning, the entire afternoon and most of the evening to herself. I had learned the hard way not to press her. She was still so fragile and it made me feel terrible. I was supposed to be strong for the two of us. Wasn't that the point of getting married? Women relied on the men to be strong for both of them, especially when she was pregnant? Then again it was Katniss Everdeen I was engaged to, the famous ' Girl on Fire'.

I knew it was hard for her to actually think about us getting married. She had agreed to marry me, but only after it had become obvious that Peeta wasn't going to be his old self again. I knew I wasn't her first pick, but I was alright with that because in the end, I was winning. Mellark might not remember our little feud over Katniss, but that didn't matter because I did and in the end, that was all that counted.

As I reached the compartment Katniss and I shared, I sighed and leaned against the doorway. She was curled up on our bed, the belt gone and her large stomach visible through the blankets which formed around her beautiful shape. Pregnancy only made her all the more beautiful and hard for me to resist. I couldn't help but love her, it was just hard for me to imagine the things that had happened all around her and what she had sparked.

" My little Catnip…" I cooed softly as a smile tried to force it's way to my lips.

I still pictured her from time to time as the scrawny, half-starved girl I stalked in the woods. She doesn't know how much I watched her that day, only that at the end of her hunt I revealed myself to her. I had been captivated by her. I had never seen her in the woods before yet she seemed almost a natural, just needing a little bit more help. She was better that time in the woods than I had been my first time, but later I learned it had been thanks to her father taking her before. When she had told me her name, I had thought it was adorable that she was so shy around me and the way she spoke, it sounded like her name was Catnip, something I began to call her affectionately. My secret way of sharing my feelings for her even if she didn't want to ever know them.

I think that was where I feel in love with her, but it took a peacekeeper pestering her for a kiss for me to finally admit it to myself, even if it did make me feel like a bit of a pervert. The interviews when Mellark had declared his love, the look on her face had said it all, she hadn't known and I still had some hope because I had always wondered where her heart resided. I lost all hope however when she had called out his name in the tree upon hearing the change of rules that night after her partner Rue had died. I had felt my heart sink, knowing she would never again think to settle with a poor boy from the Seam when she could have an easy merchants wife life. No matter how many times she swore to me she felt nothing for him, I wasn't a fool, but her eyes had still taunted me and left a tiny spark of dreaming within me.

It had probably been an unwise move on my behalf to just kiss her the first time the way I had. I had ambushed her and I couldn't blame her for being so angry with me. I hadn't been gentle with her like she was used to with Mellark, I was used to girls who liked to be surprised and liked it a little roughtr. I had figured though that that was my first and last time ever kissing her sweet strawberry lips again.

It had been a huge shock me though to feel her lips on mine when I had been whipped, something that seemed a million years ago in a simpler time. It all seemed to be during a time I knew Katniss loved me and I hadn't needed to resort to alcohol to get her to love me. I sometimes wished I could go back to that time, despite the games, a time I knew for certain that one day I was going to ask her to be my wife and she was going to say yes because she loved me, not because her baby needed a father.

She had asked me if I knew what I had done, taking her for a picnic and getting drunk with her, I had told her no, that I had had absolutely no idea what was going to happen. That was as much a lie as her swearing to me she never felt anything but friendship for Mellark upon her return from the first games. I had known exactly what I had been doing, I knew what happened when I got drunk and I knew that with her drunk, she would fall for anything and everything with the chance of no memory if I played my cards right. I had felt rotten the next morning when she had leapt from bed in the pale sunlight and told me to get out of her sight. I hadn't argued and told her it was wrong that we had slept together, keeping my distance from her for a few weeks.

The worst part was that that wasn't the most despicable thing I'd done. When she had come to me and told me she was pregnant, I had told her it wasn't mine, there was no way it was mine. I knew full well, just like her, that there was a strong chance it was mine, but I wasn't ready to be a dad. I still wasn't ready, but seeing the way she cradled her stomach and protected it even in her sleep, the way the heartbeat brought tears to our eyes at the same time and the way our daughter stirred under my hand, it made me so thankful that Katniss was the forgiving type because I couldn't imagine my life without the little girl growing within her.

I sighed and shut the door behind me and got changed for bed. I was careful as I crawled into bed facing her so her head could find its way to my chest once I was comfortable. I rested a hand on her stomach and sighed, Leta was very active at night and I guessed Katniss had taken some cough medicine so she was in a deep sleep for the first time in a week. I was glad she was finally getting some sleep, with the baby due in a few short weeks, she was going to need all the sleep she could get.

Katniss seemed so peaceful and it made me feel terrible. I had put her in this position, this was all my fault any which way that it was looked at. If it was mine, I had gotten her drunk, knowing full well that I couldn't control myself with her. If it was Peeta's, well the only reason she slept with him the first time was because she was so confused and that frustration had turned sexual with one little kiss, or so _he_ had said and personally I didn't trust the boys words under any circumstances. Katniss had never wanted children and while I had never agreed with that since I had loved her, but I had never meant to force her into such a position.

I tried to push the thoughts from my mind as I ran my hand along her stomach. I liked it when she didn't wear the belt Cinna had given her before the Quarter Quell, it was nice to see her at her most beautiful. It was strange in her mind that I found her absolutely gorgeous in her current state, but to me it was more of the knowledge that new life was growing within her. A piece that had been made when feelings were really allowed to be expressed, especially in a way no one had ever imagined she would allow. It was just amazing in my eyes what her body was doing and I didn't find her the least bit repulsive.

I felt a sudden strong kick and laughed softly, Katniss stirring in her sleep with a small groan. I had a sudden impulse to try something I hadn't done before. Sure that Katniss was fast asleep, I shimmied down the bed so my face was level with her stomach. I smiled a bit and leaned into kiss her stomach lightly.

" Calm down Leta… Mommy needs her rest, she had a big day today." I whispered as I press an ear to Katniss' stomach to listen in on our baby. I could hear a fast thrumming noise, almost like a heartbeat and it made my grin grow more. I had been told I could hear the baby and it could hear me when I spoke, but I hadn't really tried it, I left that to Annie, Prim, Katniss, Finnick, Haymith, Plutarch and Katniss' mom, they were the ones who had been obsessing over the pregnancy since the beginning and had every right to let the baby become accustomed to their voices, getting to know them before she entered the world. Naturally though, the one voice Leta reacted to more than anything was the one voice I never wanted her to hear again…

" You mommy is a wonderful person Leta, fat better than your daddy or anyone else on this planet. I wanted to name you Lillian however, but your mommy likes the name Leta better, your godfather and uncle Finnick came up with it. It's partially my name and your mommy's other friend Peta's name. I know you like Peeta already and you mommy thinks you can help him, but I don't want you to get hurt. Your mommy is my little bird, broken and I want to mend her, but I can only do that with your help. Do you think you can help daddy my sweet little princess?" I whispered lovingly as I place my hand on near my mouth. I laugh again in silence as I feel a nudge, taking it as an agreement. " Now rest little one, lord knows you need it after the stressful day your mommy has had and shared with you." I tell her softly before kissing the bump once more and moving up to wrap my arms around Katniss, pulling her close to me.

I stared up at the ceiling as I thought about how Katniss really was a broken little bird in my eyes and how much I did want to heal her. I knew I was being selfish and cruel by not helping the least bit with the Peeta situation, but she was mine! I saw her first and I didn't like to share my things, especially something as rare, precious and beautiful as the gem she was. Peeta could have any other girl he wanted, Delly spent enough time around him, maybe he wold grow attached to her and leave Katniss alone?

" My little bird." I whispered before kissing her temple and closing my eyes, letting my memory of a night long ago become my dream. I was done thinking of Peeta and how I wanted him out of Katniss' life so badly so things could return to how they once had been. A way they should have been…

_Katniss stumbled through the clearing, giggling like a fool. This was the first time she'd gotten drunk as far as I knew and I had to say she'd surprised me, I never would have taken her as a heavy weight where alcohol was involved. She'd actually been able to drink more than me and wasn't sick yet. She seemed happy, the first time I had seen a real smile and heard a real laugh since the early morning breakfast the day of the reaping. I had been an idiot then, I'd had the chance to confess my love, but hadn't for fear of my name being drawn, never in a million years had I expected it would have been Prims name that would have ripped us apart and put us on the path of ill ease we were currently stumbling blindly down._

_I had invited Katniss out for a midnight picnic in the hopes of getting her drunk and being able to express my feelings for her. I didn't care if what she told me were lies, I just wanted one night where I could pretend she was mine and didn't belong to that sad excused of man bread boy, no I craved it to the point where it was a mad obsession. I wanted mostly to have one thing before bread boy stole from me again…_

_Bread boy, what a fitting nickname for him in my opinion, a name my younger brother had come up with so I didn't have to hear his cursed name within my house once the TV was off for the night. Katniss deserved a man and that's exactly what I was. After the kiss we had just shared, I had a feeling I was going to make her a woman tonight too, something the Mellark scum was too timid to do._

_Katniss gasps by a tree and falls to her knees. I start cursing myself, thinking I've given her too much and am going to have to explain to her mother why she's so sick. As much as I loved Katniss' family and they loved me, I didn't want to have to explain my motives and in my current drunken state, I was sure to spill everything without batting an eye._

_I rush over to her and see tears in her eyes, she's carefully cradling a young mockingjay in her hands. She's looking up at me with wide eyes and I feel my heart melt. I know she's going to expect me to fix the bird, but that's not what I do. She's never asked me to save a bird before, but she's always had a soft spot for mockingjays because of her father, they had always been off limits. After making that alliance in the games with the girl, Rue, from eleven, her love and need to protect mockingjays had grown even more._

" _Let me see it." I whispered and she let me carefully take the stunned bird into my hands. My touch isn't nearly as gentle as hers, but the little bird doesn't seem to care and looks up at me with a frightened, expectant expression, just like Katniss. I look down at the poor thing, it's still very young, maybe a year at the absolute most._

_I notice one of the legs is at an awkward angle and instantly think of Prim. She can save the little bird, but once more that requires an admittance of guilt, something neither of us can afford at that point. I looked to Katniss as she looks at me hopefully, there was nothing I wouldn't do for the girl, except face her family at the moment. Another example of just how selfish I am._

_I set the bird down and gather her up in my arms, lifting her to her feet. " Gale can you help it?" She whispers, her voice trembling. I don't answer her though and start leading her away, the idea finally sinking into her foggy, hazy mind. " You're not even going to try?" She gasps, sounding surprised. I know she thinks I can do anything, fix anything, but she overestimates me. I'm not bread boy._

" _There's nothing I can do for a broken leg. A wing maybe I can help, but not a leg Katniss. I know you know that." I whisper as we make it across the clearing from the tree and bird._

_Katniss starts screaming at me and tries to get away, her voice so high and loud that I'm sure she's going to wake the whole Seam. I sigh and left her up bridal style and continue carrying her away her voice going down a few octaves in confusion. She beats at my chest and calls me an unfeeling monster, a selfish, loathsome creature. Maybe she's right I consider for a moment. Maybe I am the dark creature she's describing me as. I hold her closer to my chest to keep her from seeing the distress in my eyes as me make it through the town square, her cries becoming soft sobs._

_I vow to myself in that moment, as we pass the bakery, I'm going to fix her. She may not have a broken leg like that little bird, but she has a broken heart, soul and will, something just as difficult to mend. " If it takes me a thousand lifetimes Catnip, I will make this up to you." I vow and burry my face in her hair that smells sweetly like strawberries. " You're mine. All mine. Never forget that Katniss." I tell her as we sneak into the back of her house and up to her bedroom…_

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><p><em><strong>Gale fan, PLEASE don't hate me for this chapter. While I am not a Gale fan personally (go team PeetaJosh Hutcherson), this is just my idea of how his mind works. I see him as a poor kid from the Seam who's not used to getting something like a luxury except from the woods so since he found Katniss in the woods, he sees her as his and belonging to no one else...**_

**_Also as a little treat, I thought I'd share with you guys the music that has inspired each chapter because without music, I probably wouldn't have decided to write this... With each chapter I'll add a new song to it and I guess you guys can figure out where the music has inspired each chapter... So I guess, enjoy and let me know what you think! Pretty please? With whipped cream and a cherry on top of Finnick?_**

**_.com/playlist?list=PL4F297A5419592E88_**


	5. Unreal

_**Peeta**_

I sigh heavily as Delly sits on my bed and chatters on about things I really don't care about. She was working in some field here and absolutely loved it, was already talking about moving to District eleven after the rebellion so she could help with the produce. I think it's great that she has a hobby and all, don't get me wrong, but I have other things on my mind.

It had been two days since the filming of the propo, I guess they had just aired the part about Annie and Finnick, the people loved them as much as they had once loved Katniss and I, or so I'm told by Delly. I didn't catch it however, I had barricaded myself in my room the instant I stepped out of the elevator on my compartments floor, eating nothing and talking to no one. Delly had barged into my compartment, scaring me half to death with a tray of food and determined look.

She was like a sister to me, the only real friend and piece of my family I had left. She had demanded that she was going to spend her day off talking with me and making sure I was alright. I knew it wasn't just a day off, they didn't give those here in thirteen, she was on some kind of a special mission. Probably making sure I didn't have another attack or kill myself I had assumed and honestly it didn't seem that farfetched.

While she talked about her work and how much she loved it, I sat against the far wall, nodding and making a few noises to make her think I was interested as I sketched. In all honesty, I had tuned her out about five minutes into the one sided conversation. I didn't really think about what I was drawing, I was just letting my hands do what they wanted with my pencil against the paper. It actually felt nice to be drawing again.

" Are you even listening to me Peeta bread?" Delly scoffed as she got up off the bed and ripped the journal from my hands. I loved her to pieces, but sometimes she really got on my nerves when she used my childhood nickname and took things from me without my permission.

" Sorry, I got lost in a thought." I muttered as I watched her looking at my picture.

" I can see that… Are you feeling better Peeta?" She whispered in an almost dazed tone as she continued staring at the paper, her eyes wide.

Was I feeling better since finding out the woman I hated had been pregnant with my baby and lost it? No. Was I feeling better since being taken from the Capitol and brought to the headquarters of a pointless rebellion? No. Did I feel any better about my current situation of being watched by every member of thirteen? Definitely not. These weren't what she meant though.

" I don't know, maybe I am at last… I keep getting these flashbacks, memories I guess. The doctors think it's because I've gotten most of the venom out of my system, but we don't know for sure." I reply as I run my fingers through my hair. What Delly wanted to know was if I was feeling like my old self and was back to ' normal' yet. That was what everyone meant when they asked how I was feeling.

" This is one of them." She told me as she handed me back the sketch pad and I looked down to see myself decorating cookies. They were dandelion cookies, something I didn't remember to be a usual item in the bakery.

I look up at Delly in confusion. I remember most things about the bakery and my family, the Capitol had left those memories untouched because they wanted me to feel their pain and loss, taking that rage and hate out on Katniss the mutt. " I don't remember dandelion cookies Delly. My mother saw dandelions just as weeds, she never would have allowed this, why would I take the time to decorate them?" I asked in an almost bored voice, not really believing her.

" They were for Katniss." She whispered as she knelt down in front of me. " I helped you figure out how to make the flower cookies look like dandelions because you thought they were her favorite flower." She explains, watching me carefully.

" They're a weed though, why would I think she liked such a lousy flower? They're good for nothing more than child's play and caterpillar food." I challenge. It didn't make sense to me why I would make a dandelion cookie for a girl if I liked her. Wouldn't I make a more beautiful and deserving flower and why would a girl over the age of six like them in the first place? It didn't seem logical to me.

Delly sighed and sat down comfortably on the floor in front of me. " You didn't know this, but I was watching you one day after school when we were a lot younger. You stood by a tree and I stood behind you. Katniss had been held afterwards, it was just after her dad had died, but before she'd turned twelve. Everyone knew the Everdeen's were struggling, it was no secret that their mother had basically abandoned them." Delly started as she dropped her gaze to the concrete floor and I listened to her, hanging onto every word she said as if my life were dependent on it.

" You had been acting funny for a couple of days so I thought you had a secret girlfriend so I'd followed you. I admit I was jealous and it was wrong, but you confused me." She admitted with a deep blush. " I saw you watching Katniss, you two had locked eyes for a moment and it had explained everything to me. She had bent down and picked a dandelion, just a simple flower. After that day you had a special fascination with them. You picked them sometimes and told me you were going to give them to_ her_, but always chickened out at the last second." She explained with a small laugh.

I let it all sink in and processed it for a moment. " The cookies were for her? For Katniss?" I ask and look back down at the drawing before me. I can remember them a little more now that I really think about it. I remember giving them to my brother before he'd left the room just before he was ushered out of the room before I was whisked away to the games the first time I went.

" Yes… You were finally going to tell her how you felt after the reaping. You had it arranged with your dad, you were going to invite her over for dinner with your family after you asked her to be your girlfriend. You were no longer scared of Gale Hawthorne and figured he wouldn't care if you dated Katniss, well if he did care, you didn't." Delly says, wrapping her arms around me and laying her head on my shoulder.

It sounds familiar and it sparked something in me. " I caught you and Gale Hawthorne making out behind the school… That was when I figured Gale felt nothing for her." I whisper as my brow furrows deeply. I don't really know what sparked the memory, but I could feel the rage, hope and excitement it had created within me as if it had just happened.

Delly froze against me, she even stopped breathing for a second. It took her a moment to reply and she sounded extremely apologetic. " Yes." One word. One little word and it made more memories of her rise to the surface of my brain.

I pulled back to look at her as I thought about how mad I had been. " You and I were expected to get married right?" I press, the new memories of Delly surfacing eating away at my mind like a starving child from the Seam invited to a Capitol celebration feast.

" Correct… When it became obvious your feelings for Katniss, I changed my mind and decided to follow my own heart." She admitted and unlocked her arms from around me.

I can't help the glare I'm giving her. Maybe that's why I don't like Gale? No. There was more to it than that. " You loved Gale?" I scoff, my skepticism clear in my voice.

She gives me an angry look before looking ahead again. " I thought I did, just like I thought I loved you. We were so young though, I didn't really know love. Heck, I still don't know love Peeta, I'm only eighteen for crying out loud." She sighed and started to play with her hair, a nervous habit she'd had since she had been a little girl.

I get up to my feet and look down at her angrily. " I never loved you Delly but I always held onto the idea that I'd marry you in the end! I never got the chance to actually love you! If I recall you always paid attention to everyone but me!" I shout unable to help myself, not sure where it's coming from. When she opens her mouth to speak, I place my finger over her lips to silence her, not yet ready for her to speak. " You had your turn Dell, now it's my turn." I hiss.

She closes her eyes and seems like she's just giving up and into me. I take a deep breath and try my best to keep my temper under control. " I remember we played together all the time, we were neighbors and best friends. My mother used to gossip with yours all the time about us getting married. When we hung out after our first day of school, you told me you met another boy and my father told my mother to knock off the talk about us getting married. Now tell me why." I demanded. I knew I was being harsh, but I wanted answers and I wanted answers then.

Delly refuses to look at me and just kept her eyes closed, tears starting to silently slip from her eyes. I felt bad, I had had hurt her. I planned on apologizing as soon as I got my answers, but not a moment sooner. " You saw Katniss for the first time, it became obvious you were infatuated with her even at our young age after only seeing her once… I met Gale Hawthorne too that day, he stole my first kiss and I fell for him." She whispered. She was starting to tremble and looked so weak, all because of me.

" I'm sorry." I whispered as I cupped her face. I didn't know what was coming over me, but suddenly my lips were smashed against hers. In my head I guess it seemed like a great subconscious thing to do, but apparently not a smart move in reality.

Her eyes shot open and she started to scream into the kiss and shove me. I was stronger and kept the kiss up until I heard a small gasp a few moments later. I leapt back from Delly and looked up to see Katniss standing in my doorway. I instantly started to kick myself mentally and call myself every terrible name I could think of.

" They told me I'd find you here Delly, but they didn't tell me that you were _together_…" She whispered and it was obvious that she was fighting back tears.

I cursed myself silently. Delly got up and ran after Katniss, yelling her name. I waited a few seconds before hurrying after them. Delly was apologizing to Katniss and told her it wasn't her fault, she didn't even want to kiss me. Katniss wrapped her arms around her, resting Delly's head on her shoulder, her eyes closed along with Delly's. In one moment of thoughtlessness I had just hurt these two women more than I ever thought I could. I was beginning to think myself a monster like the one I accused Gale of being.

" I believe you Delly… He's not the same Peeta we knew. He's too much like the Capitol now to ever be that Peeta again." Katniss whispered and I realized she hadn't spotted me yet.

" I know Katniss, but I know how you still feel about him and I don't want you to hate me." Delly pleaded.

" Don't worry Delly, I don't hate you. You're one of my best friends and have only ever been nice to me. It doesn't actually matter how I feel about him anyway… I was coming to find you to let you know that the date got moved up. Because it can be any day now, Gale I moved our date up to tomorrow. Everyone's in a mad rush to get things in order." Katniss whispered and it sounded like she was depressed. " I came down to see if you still wanted to help out with the ceremony since Plutarch is going insane."

Delly gasped and pulled out of her arms, squeezing Katniss' shoulders. " Are you sure about this though Katniss? Getting married is a big deal, what's the rush? Why not wait?" She demanded and I could tell it was because she was afraid _for_ Katniss and not out of her own selfishness where Gale was concerned. It took me a few seconds though to put together what Delly had gotten right away but then again, her mind probably wasn't rejecting the very idea the way mine was.

I stumbled forward a few steps and gasped for breath, eyes locked on Katniss as the two girls squeaked and turned to face me. " You're marrying Gale? Gale Hawthorne?" I growled, fists clenching at my sides.

Katniss swallowed hard and I saw the color drain from her face, but she tried her best it seemed to hide it from me. " Yes. Tomorrow at noon we're doing the toasting and a small ceremony straight from the imagination of Plutarch. By this time tomorrow night, I will be Mrs. Katniss Hawthorne." She told me firmly, seeming more certain telling me than she had Delly.

' _She's hiding something! She's not happy about this arrangement! There's more than meets the eye here!´ _My mind screamed and I tried its best to ignore it and stay focused on her. Once more I felt the sharp pain in my chest and felt like all the air was knocked out of me. " You can't do that." I spat out as I tried desperately to think of a reason. I didn't know why I wanted this mutt to rethink and call off her wedding, only that I was desperate to do so.

" Why can't I Peeta Mellark? Don't I deserve some happiness? Doesn't Gale and everyone else who will attend our wedding? They're all excited and they deserve this as much as Gale and I do from all the tough times we've been through! Everyone from twelve is attending and all of them have expected this except for you." She tells me bluntly but I didn't hear the one thing I wanted to hear.

" Tell me you love him then." I hissed as I took a step towards her, testing her. She backed up against the wall, or rather elevator doors. Delly stay planted between us. Delly was my friend but I wouldn't hesitate to knock her aside to get to Katniss if it came down to it.

Katniss hit the button desperately for the elevator, but the doors didn't open right away. " Don't do this Peeta." She pleaded and I watched as a hand dropped down to her stomach.

I felt a curious look spread on my face as I thought about how it looked almost like she was trying to protect a…. " Gale got you pregnant didn't he? I thought you loved me Katniss! I thought you were my wife! You're mine Katniss, not his!" I yell as I start towards her and just then the elevator doors opened. If she was pregnant with Gale's baby it definitely would make since why she was marrying Gale. I was going to kill Gale for touching my wife!

She rushed inside and hit a button as Delly pushed back on my shoulders, not doing much more than aggravating me more. " I loved you once Peeta, but everything changes, we just weren't meant to be apparently and Gale's shown that to me. I was never officially your wife and now you'll always be the one that got away for me as I might someday be for you. I'm sorry Peeta, but I don't belong to you anymore and we just need to forget anything ever happened between us. Please don't come to the ceremony tomorrow." She whispered and I saw more tears fall down her face. The elevator doors slammed shut as I gave up the fight, falling to my knees.

I had no idea where the idea that we were married came from, but it was crushing. I grip at my chest with one hand as I fall forward, my other hand supporting my weight. " Is it true Delly? Is all of this really happening to me?" I choke out as she kneels beside me and rubs my back.

" Yes Peeta… You just lost your wife." She tells me, her voice emotionless. " You're nothing more than someone she used to know now and you only have yourself and Snow to thank for that." With that Delly got up and got in the elevator as well, disappearing.

I stayed on the ground like that for a while, crying. I loved that mutt and I wanted her. She was my wife, the one I was supposed to share my compartment with. I had lost Katniss Everdeen, my dandelion, to the boy with the bow and the biggest player in all of District twelve.

The Capitol had officially taken everything away from me.

I was broken.

* * *

><p><em><em>**_Back my popular demand, I hope you liked Peeta's view of this. What do you think? Should Peeta let Gale marry Katniss and do as she asked, not attend the wedding? Should he show up and fight for Katniss? You tell me what you think should happen with the wedding with Peeta and the wedding!_**


	6. Plans

_**Peeta**_

I stay there crying until I can't breathe anymore. All I could think about was how Gale Hawthorne had taken Katniss away from me. I remembered the first time I saw her, when we were younger. I hadn't been able to look away from her for a moment, afraid she was nothing more than a dream and she disappear from sight at any second. She had been an angel to me that day and every day after that, literally every bird in the sky had stopped to listen to her pretty song when she stood on that stool to teach us all in music. I had told my father I had met the girl I was going to marry and he had laughed at me, saying something that had sounded like he was thanking a God he didn't have a son Prim's age. All of those years I guessed had been spent running after Katniss were about to be all for nothing.

I don't know where the strength comes from, but I manage to climb to my feet. I brush my knees off and wipe at my face. I'm a mess, there's no doubt about it. I'm afraid though that if someone gets off the elevator and sees me in such a state they'll assume it's another attack and I'll be taken back to the hospital. The same floor the wedding was sure to be held in if it was anything like Finnick and Annie's. I hadn't attended the wedding necessarily, I had decorated the cake as a surprise wedding gift for them and had stood in the door for a few minutes to observe the wedding party.

I had no intentions of attending this wedding though, I wasn't going to watch from the distance or contribute a cake. I hated Gale Hawthorne and I wanted to respect Katniss' wish. It might have been my fault after all thatthey were getting married in the first place and I didn't want to have any more weighing down my already concrete conscious. Katniss seemed like the type of woman who might not have wanted a child to begin with, but once she had one, she would do anything for it. She had lost our baby and I was beginning to wonder if it were possible for Katniss to have slept with Gale to get pregnant again to replace our son and have the baby she had been so excited for…

" Peeta! There you are!" I hear a voice yell as I reach my compartment.

I look up to find Finnick and Annie stepping out of the elevator and heading towards me. Their compartment is on a lower floor than mine so there's no doubt in my mind they're looking for me for a specific reason. I don't feel like listening to them however, as much as I like the guy and adore Annie, I'm not in the mood for their lovey-dovey act. I shake my head before going into my compartment and locking the door before I can talk myself out of it.

" Peeta come on, we need to talk to you." Finnick sighs from the other side of the door as he knocks. I roll my eyes though and start digging through the little medicine cabinet on my wall. When I moved a bottle of pills, it fell on the ground making a rattling crash noise when it hit the ground. I hear Finnick curse and he starts banging on the door like he was desperate to get back in. " Don't do it!" He shouted, already guessing somehow what I was about to do.

I roll my eyes as my fingers wrap around a small glass vial, the very thing I was searching for. I waste no time before uncorking the vial and tipping it back. The sweet, gooey liquid slips down my throat and I toss the vial in the garbage. Finnick keeps up yelling at me and making a ruckus, but I just change into my pajamas, my boxers and no shirt, before lying in bed.

I close my eyes and smirk as the cough medicine I just took works its way through my worn out, broken body. I know it's wrong, especially since Finnick wants to talk to me desperately, but I need some kind of escape from this terrible reality. I don't want to remember the emotionless kiss with Delly, the way it literally was just my lips against hers with nothing stirring within me. I want to get away from the knowledge that Katniss was getting married and was probably pregnant. Away from the memory of Gale Hawthorne. Most of all though, away from how much I loved Katniss that it hurt and felt more like hate.

The syrup warms my veins as I feel it creeping through every part of me like a slow rolling fog that happened in the meadow and school yard every early morning during the fall. Normally I try to fight the sleep the liquid brings, but I just relax and welcome it with wide spread arms. It's a relief when I can no longer feel anything, going completely numb and my mind starts to slip away, the last thought in my head is her name…

_Katniss is staring silently into the fire as I sit beside her, sketching her intense features. I know something's bothering her, but she just won't say anything. She normally never lets me sketch her, she tells me I never draw her accurately, that I let my imagination get the best of me. I tell her it's not true since I draw her exactly as I see her, the dazzling Goddess that she is. I'm grateful for the opportunity to get to sketch her as she sits perfectly still like a model, but I just want to know what's weighing so heavily on her mind._

" _Peeta, what do you love about me?" Katniss somberly whispers, still not looking at me. She's been in this kind of mood all day. She had come over this morning to escape the dying man from the mine that had been brought to her mother and she'd claimed to need an escape, painful memories coming back. She had ended up staying all day and was probably going to spend the night as well because her mom still wasn't done with the poor man and his family was going to be staying at her house._

_Her question catches me off guard and I slowly set down my sketchbook and charcoal. I take both her hands in mine and reach up with my other hand to turn her face to me. I give her a small smile as I study her face. " Where should I begin Katniss? Your eyes? Lips? Blush? Hair? The way you walk? Talk? Sing? Do you even have time to listen to me go on and on about your incredible personality?" I whisper as I stroke her cheek with my thumb, meaning it._

_Katniss blushes deeper and drops her gaze. " Will you love me no matter what I do?" She asks and I get the feeling that she's finally going to tell me what's really bothering her instead of saying the man brought to her mom reminds her too much of her father for her liking._

_I laugh a bit and nod. " Of course Katniss! I've loved you for eleven years now, I've been in the games with you Katniss. No matter what, I will always love you." I tell her honestly, getting a weak smile out of her. She still looks so broken, I just want to make her life better._

_I want to make her my wife someday, give her the life of ease she's always deserved. She wouldn't just be a girl from the Seam who would be marrying up in status, causing quite the scandal by going from the miners daughter to the bakers wife and joining the merchant status. She would be the Hunger Games victor marrying her co-victor, a man who could always provide for her without hesitation. She would no longer have to hunt with Gale for meat, I could buy her all the fresh meat she wanted. I planned on making her Katniss Mellark, the bakers wife and putting the Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire act far behind her. I can almost see our married life, hear our kids running around the large empty house, us happy to put the fame of the games behind us except for the once a year we'd be summoned to the Capitol…_

_Tears start to well in her eyes though, crushing my happy dreams. " I truly hope so Peeta." She whispers as she stands up and turns her back to me._

_I frown a little and reach out, grabbing one of her wrists so she can't just up and leave like she seems to love to do. " Katniss please tell me what's happening. I hate so much to see you so upset. Just tell me what's bothering you or how I can make this better." I plead softly as I fight back the fear of her rejecting me again. In the last few weeks, we had actually seemed to make progress towards being a real couple, or so it had seemed to me._

_I could see a few tears running off of her chin and jaw, breaking my heart further. " Peeta I went out for a midnight picnic with Gale a few days ago. I thought it was going to just be a simple picnic, quick and then I'd go back to my room and that would be that." She starts, taking a shaky deep breath, fear obvious in her voice. " He got me drunk, kept encouraging me to drink even when I'd said I'd had my fill. I blacked out for a while I guess because the next thing I knew the sun was rising and I was in Gale's arms, in my bed, both of us lacking clothes…" Her voice cracks and she doesn't seem to be able to speak anymore._

_I can't believe what she's just told me. I'm silent as my mind races to come up with at least a hundred and three different ways to kill Gale or get my revenge on him. I know I should be angry at Katniss too for falling for a trick that just screamed Gale's name, but I can't help it. She's just so naïve where boys are involved and is so trusting of Gale because of what he's done for her and her family. I can't help but just let Gale slip from my mind as she starts to tremble and I realize just how much she's been hurt by it._

_I pull her wrist and bring her into my arms. I cradle her close to me and bury my face in her hair. It smells so much like the woods that I almost feel like I'm out there with her on one of her countless hunts. I try to comfort her and stop her crying, but she's not listening to me. She keeps telling me how sorry she is and making me feel worse and worse for her._

" _Do you want to know the worst part of it Peeta?" She chokes out after ten minutes of solid crying._

" _No Katniss. I want you to just forget about it." I tell her softly I pull back and use the sleeves of my shirt to wipe at her tears, thankful I'd worn a shirt with long sleeves. I don't want to hear about how the morning experience went or how uncaring he was as he'd taken her innocence away from her. I'd be willing to bet too that it didn't even mean anything to him, not like it should have, or would have to me. She was just another girl he could brag about._

" _I want to too Peeta." She whispers almost desperately._

_I studied her face for a second before leaning down to press my lips lightly to hers. " Trust me Katniss, you will in time. Come now, let's get you in the bath. It'll help clear your mind." I tell her as I carefully lift her up in a bridal style, carrying her up the stairs and to the bathroom connected to my bedroom. I don't want to hear any more about Gale and I just want her to relax and feel safe and happy again._

_I set her on the toilet and fill the tub up with oils and bubbles that Portia stocked my bathroom up with just in case Katniss had ever stayed over. I make a mental note to thank her as the tub fills with warm water and I kiss Katniss' forehead._

" _Just relax Katniss, let your mind and body just enjoy the warm water and you don't ever have to mention what happened with Gale again." I promise before leaving her alone in the bathroom. I'm not like Gale, I respect her privacy and have no intentions of forcing her into something I know she would never want._

_I lay in bed, working some more on my sketch of Katniss when she popped her head out of the door a while later. I look up at her and smile, she looks a little nervous which slowly makes my smile disappear. I look down at myself briefly and blush a bit, I hadn't even thought about what I was wearing to bed since it was a habit to sleep in just a pair of silk pants Portia had given me and no shirt because I was always alone in my house. We only ever slept in the same bed at her house. This was going to be the first time she'd ever slept over at my house._

" _Are you OK? Do I need to put a shirt on?" I ask with concern full in my voice, worried that she'd fallen or gotten hurt in the tub without my hearing about it. Or even worse, was offended by my being half naked in the bed I expected her to share with me to keep her bad dreams away._

_I start to get up out of the bed which causes her eyes to go wide. " I'm fine Peeta, honestly. Just stay in bed though and please turn the lights off." She tells me, her voice a few octaves higher than usual._

_I give her a curious look before slowly relaxing back into bed. I'm hesitant as I reach over to turn the lamp off beside my bed and darken the whole room. The only light in the room came from the window on my side of the bed, on the far end of the room, the pale moonlight washing everything in pale silver light._

_I have no idea what she's doing as I wait for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I left the side of the bed closest to the bathroom free for Katniss because it was her favorite side of the bed, but instead of going to it, she's walking to my side of the bed. It takes me a few seconds to realize that her hands are at her chest, clutching a simple white towel closed around her slim frame. She stops though when she steps into the moonlight right by my side which causes the water droplets left on her skin to light up, giving her a beautiful glow, especially with the silver light shimmering off her hair, making it look almost as pale as my own hair. Her eyes are shining, but not with tears, but curiosity and a look I've never seen before._

" _Katniss, what are you doing?" I whisper, trying to not show her how nervous I suddenly felt, butterflies swarming in my stomach as my heart started to beat wildly._

" _Something I should have done a long time ago. Peeta I love you. I always have. I've loved you since that day in the rain, when you saved Prim and I's lives with the burned bread. You gave me hope that day, not only that I could survive and ensure the safety of my sister, but hope that you could feel more for me than the Seam rat your mother accused me of being that day. I don't know why I've tried so hard to deny it, but for the last few days all I could think about it how much and how truly I love you." She whispers, honesty dripping from every word._

_I open my mouth to speak, but she holds up a hand to silence me and I comply, wanting to hear more of her beautiful words. " Peeta I want this with you, I've wanted this with you since that night in the cave, when the rain was terrible." With that, she slowly releases her death grip on the towel and it drops to the ground at her feet. She blushes and looks away, but I can't stop my eyes from taking in everything about her._

_Every curve screams for me touch it seems. Her few little scars and fresh new marks, screaming for me to kiss. My mind no longer remembers what I want to do to Gale, but rather what it wants to do to Katniss. None of it is for my own pleasure rather, but for hers. This would be my first time, but all I want is to make this a perfect night for her and make her forget her experience with Gale. I reach out to take her hands and pull her the rest of the way to me._

" _Are you sure about this?" I whisper, wanting to make absolute certain that she wants it as much as I suddenly do. My mind screams that I'm an idiot for asking, but I want the night to never be comparable to her night with Gale should she ever remember it._

_Instead of answering me verbally, she kisses me more tenderly than she ever has. A small moan escapes her throat and I eat it up, a groan leaving me. The tiny bit of resistance vanishes in an instant and I pull her to me. This is it. This is the moment I get to show Katniss Everdeen how much I love her._

_A smile turns up my lips as Katniss lies on my chest breathing heavily. I run my hand lightly up and down her back, we'd just made love three times and the sun was starting to rise. I don't know where either of us got the energy to go at it so many times, but each time was just as loving and special as the first. I couldn't believe it, it just seemed too good to be true. I was sure her mother was going to be less than amused should she ever find out, but in that moment I didn't care. I wanted to scream from the roof of my house just how much I loved the girl I was sharing my bed with._

" _Peeta… Did you enjoy yourself?" Katniss asks timidly._

_I smile and laugh a bit, looking down at her lovingly. " Of course! How could I possibly not? I've waited so many years to show you just how much I love you and you finally gave me the opportunity to show you." I tell her softly, reaching up from her back to tuck some hair behind her ear._

" _You've wanted to do this with me for years now?" She asks, sounding a little scandalized, making another laugh rumble within my chest._

" That _was something more recent. The other way though I've been dreaming of since our first day of school." I tell her. I reach over into the drawer of my bedside table, searching until I find a small box. I pull it out and hold it just in front of her, the item within had been in my family for generations, my mother had given it to me the day after I had returned to twelve, guessing my true intentions. " Katniss Everdeen… Will you marry me?" I ask, praying that she'll agree without argument._

" Peeta… Mellark…. Wake… UP!" A female voice shouts aggressively as I feel myself being hit with something solid.

I groan and try to shield myself from it. It's obvious that my attacker has been at it for a while, I've just been too far gone to notice it. I don't want to give into the demands of the angry woman assaulting me, but my dream of Katniss is slipping away at an alarmingly fast rate.

" Cut it out Johanna." I snap, yawning as I roll over to glare up at her groggily. I look around and see Annie sitting in a chair, Finnick leaning my door, fidgeting with my doorknob. I sighed and shook my head as I sat up slowly. " Did you have to break my doorknob and beat me with a pillow?" I grumble as I rub my eyes, wondering how long I had been out for because it felt like it had been a while.

" Did you have to take the cough syrup and go into that temporary coma?" She snaps as she throws my pillow at me one last time and I catch it easily before it hits me. I roll my eyes as I look back at her, a wicked smile quickly coming to her lips.

I shrug, not really wanting to have to justify my answer. I run my fingers through my hair, wanting to just get whatever intervention or personal hell they were trying to force me into over with and move on with my now awful life.. " What was so important that couldn't wait until I was in a better mood?" I sigh, trying to hide my annoyance.

Finnick clears his throat and I look to him instead of Johanna. " We need your help Peeta. It has to do with Gale and Katniss' wedding." He tells me, stopping his work on my knob and stepping to the foot of my bed.

" No. I'm not helping the happy couple in anyway." I tell him firmly, getting really ticked, really fast. I couldn't believe they had just woke me up from an incredible dream or memory to ask me to help out with a wedding that I had been instructed not to attend.

" We're not asking you to bake or decorate anything Peeta. We want to stop this wedding. Katniss doesn't love him and is only doing it because she thinks she's out of options." Annie whispers and I slowly turn to look at her curiously. " Peeta please help us stop this wedding. For Katniss' sake."

Annie sounds so sincere about it. I quickly looked to Finnick and Johanna, but they have serious expressions on their faces as well. I narrow my eyes at Finnick, I trust him but only because he saved my life and Annie is just too innocent. Johanna scares the crap out of me most times so I don't have much choice but to trust her too. I'm cornered and out of options, I know they know this, knew this the moment they had decided to team up against me. " Alright, tell me what you want or need me to do." I tell Finnick in a soft, serious tone, unsure as to what exactly they wanted me to do.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sorry it's so long, I tried to keep it as short as I could, but there was a lot to add this chapter. Thank you so much to all my amazing readers who have added me to their lists and those of you who have left me amazing reviews! Please keep letting me know what you love or hate, I love knowing your opinions! Once again, I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you!<em>**


	7. Surprise

_**Katniss**_

' _I don't love him like this. I don't love him I don't love him this much. I love him, but not this way."_ I think miserably as I look over at him. Gale is laughing and playing around with his brothers while his mother looks like she's trying to fix Posy's dress. When he looks my direction and catches my gaze, his face lights up causing painful twists in my stomach and they're not from Leta.

I feel rotten, like a truly despicable person, but this was meant to happen as Gale pointed out to me several times in the last few days. Had Prim's name not been picked, I never would have volunteered as tribute, I never would have actually spoken to Peeta and he and I would have gotten married as soon as I'd finished school. Woman didn't really work in the Seam and I couldn't have stayed with my mother and Prim forever. This was supposed to happen. Gale and I were meant to be together.

" It's not too late Katniss." My little duckling says, drawing my attention back to her. Prim and I had been talking about when Leta was born what we were going to do. Coin had it planned that I was going to go to the Capitol on a mission with Finnick, Johanna and Gale, but only once Leta was born. Once Leta was born, I wasn't going to need the stupid belt that made it impossible to breathe and I'd need less protection. Prim and my mom had agreed to take care of Leta for Gale and I, but there was still a few things we had to figure out first.

" Yes it is Prim. It's eight months and two weeks too late." I tell her as I rest my hands on my stomach.

" Katniss, you have another option." She tells me almost desperately as she looks over her shoulder.

I follow her gaze and see Peeta talking with Finnick, Annie and Johanna. My heart nearly leaps from my chest at the sight of how well he's dressed even though he's in dark clothing, almost as if he's here for a funeral, not a wedding. To him this probably does seem like a death because I'll no longer be Katniss Everdeen or Katniss Mellark, I'll be Katniss Hawthorne by the end.

" No I don't Prim… That ship sailed a long time ago. He's never faked a single thing in our relationship. I don't want to hurt him anymore Prim. The Capitol making him forget everything I did to him, it's a God-send. He'll move on with his life, marry a girl more deserving, never knowing about Leta and will have the life he should have. He's not from the Seam and has had to just settle, he's a baker son, he's from the merchant class and can do better." I tell her, trying to sound convincing. As I'm saying it however, I can feel my heart breaking. " This has never been a game to him."

Prim is silent and she knows I'm right. " He's remembering more Katniss, maybe he'll remember how much he's loved you." She said hopeful, making me shake my head more.

" You need to just put these thoughts from your mind Prim. There is no way I'm going to reunite with Peeta." I tell her a little too harshly, looking away from Peeta and dropping my gaze to the silver dress Plutarch and Annie had forced me into.

She let out a small groan of frustration and I half expected her to stomp her foot in anger. She suddenly cleared her throat and it grabbed my attention, she looked guilty as I studied her. " I think I'm going to go tell the musician to start up the dancing music." And with that, Prim hurried off.

I groaned and took a seat at the nearest table. Plutarch had been angry that I had put a stop to most of his plans. The room had a burnt pit on the middle for Gale and I to toast on later in the evening. Tables had been set up around the room in a seemingly random order but actually created a giant ' K' with a ' G' in it. There was plenty of room for dancing, it was a shame though that I didn't feel like dancing. It was even more of a shame I didn't feel like celebrating my marriage to Gale.

" Quite the attendance. Do they realize that it's just a toasting of bread, nowhere near as complicated as the other districts?" Peeta's familiar voice jokes and laughs as he places a glass in front of me. The second he spoke, Leta started to throw a fit and moved so much and so forcibly that it was a struggle not to gasp for air or cough from the pain.

I frown a little as I look at the liquid within the tall, skinny glass before me. I know I'm not supposed to drink alcohol while pregnant, the doctors from thirteen couldn't have stressed that enough. At that particular moment however, the glass looks extremely tempting and everything in me is screaming to just down it and take the risks. I needed some kind of relief from reality because I couldn't just step out for a breath of fresh air, I was the bride-to-be.

" Don't worry about it Katniss, it's just sparkling cider." He tells me as I see him sipping his own. He must have guessed my thoughts.

I nod and thank him as I take a sip of the liquid. It tingles my tongue on the way down and the taste is very sweet and bubbly. I've never have sparkling cider before so it's a new treat to me. " Are you enjoying yourself?" I ask softly as I stare into the golden liquid.

Peeta is silent for moment before he sets his glass down and fidgets with it. " It's not the worst day of my life, but I can't say it's the greatest either though. I can think of at least a hundred better ways to spend it." He mumbles and I have to bite my tongue to keep from agreeing with him. I've forgiven him for kissing Delly, my reaction was mostly thanks to the baby hormones and I know I really have no reason to be jealous or angry with him or Delly.

I look up at him and _really_ look at him. He has dark bruises under his eyes, it looks as if he hasn't had a good nights sleep in days. His skin is paler than usual and he still hasn't gained back the weight and muscle he lost while in the Capitol. His eyes look older and the laugh lines around his lips and eyes aren't nearly as prominent as they once were. I felt bad because I caused it.

" Do you remember what sparked the rebellion?" I ask as I keep my eyes on him curiously. I had told him the night before not to come because I had been scared and angry, but now all I wanted was for him to not leave me.

Peeta laughs a little which surprises me a little. " I've been told it was when we threatened to eat poisonous berries. I've also been told though that it all started with a mockingjay in the corner of a screen." He says with a shrug.

" Yes, well it mostly all started when we popped the berries in our mouths, it started to make people think and pay attention." I explain, sipping more of the cider. I'm not sure if it's just me, but the cider has a funny after taste. It's bitter and makes my mind think that something's wrong, but I know it's impossible. I trust Peeta.

" Why would you have done that though? Threatened to take berries that could have killed if you didn't really love me?" He asks seriously after a few minutes of silence.

I feel a little panicked as I set the glass down and take his hands in mine. " I cared a lot for you Peeta. I did so much to save you because there was something I had wanted to tell you, but I couldn't." I whisper, getting ready to pour my heart and soul out to him now that Leta has stopped moving, something I don't even give a second thought to.

" Darling, Plutarch wants to get things going now if it's alright? He wants to ' get this party going' apparently, whatever that means." Gale says as he approaches Peeta and I, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I take a deep breath before smiling up at him. " Alright." With that I pulled my hands free of Peeta's and gulp down the rest of my funny tasting drink. I thank Peeta again for everything although I don't tell him what everything is.

Gale is beaming as he links my arm with his and we start towards Plutarch. About half way to him though, I start feeling an odd tingling sensation in the lower half of my body, as if I had to go to the restroom. I try my best to ignore it and just blame it on nerves, but suddenly I feel an odd gushing sensation. I had felt like I had to go to the bathroom, but not nearly that bad…

" Leta." Gale hisses as he stops and looks down at me, everyone in the room going silent to stare at me.

I stare up at him with wide eyes, not sure what to do. My mother and Prim rush over and tell Gale to carry me right to the hospital. Peeta is by my side again, demanding to know what's happening.

" Something's going on with the baby." Prim tells him firmly, leaving it vague enough to allow Gale time to scoop me up as if I still really were a thin girl still.

As the pain starts to grip at me, I grip at Gale's shirt and grit my teeth to keep from crying out. He whispers for me to breathe as he starts to carry me away to the hospital despite Peeta's ciess for more information. I know something is wrong because everything had just been so normal and now it was moving too quickly. I try desperately to think what was different that I had done all day, but only one thing came to mind.

The funny tasting sparkling cider.

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><p><strong><em>I am so sorry it took me so long to get this posted. I originally wrote this from Peeta's view, but got stuck at about five hundred words and had to scrap it. I wrote it from Gale's view, but scrapped it upon rereading because it was kind of ridiculous in my opinion. Yes this one is shorter than my previous chapters, but hopefully you still like it. Not sure who the next chapter's point of view is going to be, but if all else fails, I'll write as Finnick!<em>**


	8. Blue? Purple? Pink!

_**Peeta**_

It's been twelve hours since the failed attempt to marry Katniss and Gale. Twelve hours I hadn't seen or heard from her. Twelve hours that I spent pacing in my room, writing down my thoughts and memories as I'd been told. I had neglected the journal for some time now, but I was frustrated and it offered me at least a little relief, enough not to break something or break down myself.

As soon as Katniss, Gale, Prim and Mrs. Everdeen had disappeared, the party had broken up. Finnick, Johanna and Annie had hurried me down to my compartment. They wouldn't tell me anything other than she was going to be fine but they had to get back to her. They told me it was better if I stayed below, but I was too panicked. I was scared that Katniss was going to lose this baby just like she had ours. As much as I didn't like Gale, I didn't want to put him through the pain that I had gone through when she'd first told me about our son. Especially not when it might have been my fault…

I'm so wound up and need to just talk to someone. I know I was told not to go to the hospital, but I just need to get away and do something other than pace, write and draw. This was why I had to see a psychologist right? I grab one of my empty pill bottles as well, figuring I could get it filled again while I'm there. I'm sure that they had gotten Katniss taken care of and out of the hospital by now, twelve hours was more than enough time to figure out what was wrong with a baby.

I'm surprised by the few people that are in the corridor and it takes me a minute to realize that the normal days are beginning for thirteen. I try my best to ignore them, but it's hard to when I'm getting strange looks. Some are angry while others look apologetic. I hear a little girl ask her mother if I'm the crazy man that Katniss loves and her mother tells the girl to simply not point at me. I guess it's really true then, Katniss was over whatever feelings she felt for me in all my flashbacks.

This thought weighs heavily on me as I get in an elevator with a few men who were dressed as if they were going to battle. I don't say anything to them though and press the button for the floor with the hospital, clinging to the journal in one hand and the pill bottle in the other. I haven't spent much time with people in thirteen that I didn't know aside from doctors, most avoided me. They were either very angry with me or afraid of what I might do, it was hard to try and convince them I was on the mend.

" Congratulations soldier Mellark. I've heard everything is going well with soldier Everdeen." One of the men speaks up.

I look at him, unsure what he was talking about. He looked to be no older than I was with fiery red hair and bright green eyes.I was certain that I had never seen him before let alone spoken to him so I was completely taken by surprise to have him talk to me. " Uhh… Thanks I guess?" I manage to say after a moment of trying to see if it was a joke of some sort.

" You must be excited. I know I was when my wife and I went through the same thing. Whatever it is though, it'll be lucky to be coming now and not before this whole thing started. At least now there's hope for it to be better than us!" He says giving me a brilliant smile and his eyes have a special sparkle to them.

Now I'm very lost. I want to ask him what he's talking about, but the doors opened on my floor and I have to step out so they can get to command on time or wherever their squad is gathering to leave. " Tell Katniss that Onyx gives her his best and I can't wait to see it when I come back." He calls after me and I tell him over my shoulder that I will despite not knowing what I'm giving bests about.

I try to shake the strange conversation out of my head as I enter the hospital. I'm surprised not to see any of the nurses or doctors around. I don't understand it, but I'm not in the right mindset to really give it much thought. I go straight back to my psychologists office and try the doorknob only to find it locked.

' _Strange.'_ I think with a small sigh. Usually he's in the office this early and he never takes a day off. I roll my eyes and leave the journal and empty pill bottle leaning against his door, I figure when he gets in he'll see it and send a messenger to get me for an appointment.

I turn and start to leave the hospital when I hear it.

" Prim, make it stop!" I hear Katniss scream. She sounds breathless, exhausted and like she's being tortured. It's followed quickly by another scream of pain.

Everything inside of me jumps to life in that instant. She's in the back of the hospital and she's in excruciating pain. As I make my way back, I hear more shouts of pain and even Gale's shouts for someone to help her.

" Peeta!" Annie exclaims as I reach the back and find Annie, Finnick, Johanna, Delly and Gale's family sitting uncomfortably on the floor.

" What are you doing here?" Finnick asks worriedly as he gets to his feet and starts my way.

" I heard Katniss." I gasp out as I stop running and look at them. They all look exhausted except for Annie and Posy who had probably been able to take naps against someone, maybe even forced to.

" She's fine, you need to leave though." Gale's brother Rory says firmly as he gets to his feet as well.

I give him a fierce look before turning to Finnick. " I'm going in to check on Katniss. That'll be happening one way or another." I tell them as I stand to my full height, not afraid to fight my way into the room with her.

" Katniss you need to stay with us! You're almost there, I promise." I hear Katniss' mom say from within the door nearest me.

I quickly glance at Finnick and Rory who had already guessed what I was going to do. Without any more hesitation, I lunge for the door. It's a scramble for the knob as I feel someone yanking on the back of my shirt.

" Let me go!" I shout as I fumble with the knob. It turns for me at last and I fall forward. I look up to see Katniss lying in a bed, her legs in a strange contraption, doctors and nurses surround her with Prim and Gale on either side of her, holding her hands.

At first I think she really is being tortured, but at the moment I fell through the door, Katniss had let out a relieved sigh and the doctors and nurses had all started to scramble around desperately. My eyes grow wide as plates as I hear a small cry.

This cry didn't come from Katniss who is staring at me along with everyone else in the room, but it came from something smaller and it's being let out of its lungs for the first time. It's the cry of innocence. Of love. Of need. Of a new life.

" You…. Katniss…. You were in labor?" I manage to choke out as a doctor works to clean off the crying bundle in his arms.

I'm jerked up to my feet and I can get a full look at the beautiful baby now being wrapped in pink. It's a girl. Katniss and Gale have a daughter.

No, that's not right.

There's no way that Katniss could have just had a baby that healthy and well formed. Katniss also showed no sign of pregnancy. There's just no logical way that she could have been pregnant!

It's then that I remember something and fall forward on my hands and knees. My hands ball into fists as my head falls forward. I'm gasping for breath and my eyes squeeze shut.

_I see my father pointing to a girl my age. He's going on and on about how he had loved her mother and the girl's father could sing. I forgot about the girl until we went to music and she sang the most beautiful song I'd ever heard._

" Peeta!"

_I hear my mother screaming at some poor Seam child. It wasn't their fault they didn't have anything. When I went out to investigate, I saw her. The girl of my dreams. She looks so sad and she's been miserable at school, her sister and her seeming to be starving. When my mother comes back in and tells me to take care of the bread, I do the first thing I can think of so I drop the bread in the flames._

_When my mother strikes me, I don't show any emotion. It stings and her shouting hurts my head more. I hurry out when she tells me to feed it to the pigs. I don't waste any time tossing the bread to her and going back inside. I hope that the bread is enough for her and her family, I only want what's best for her._

" Peeta Mellark, you need to leave!"

_I'm standing in the town square, I feel the cookies for Katniss heavy in my pocket. I know her odds are higher than my own for being picked, but I have a good feeling about this year just like every year before, she wasn't going to get picked. When I hear Prim's name, I look over to Katniss and see another boy we go to school with catching her as she starts to fall. I want to scream at her that she's an idiot as she steps out of line and I hear the four heart shattering words no one else had heard in years, ' I volunteer as tribute'._

_I watch Gale carry Prim away, but I can't be thankful for him. I can't even laugh at what's happening on stage. I'm frozen and panicking, my father's face is pale on the sidelines when I look to him. I'm not even paying attention to anything else but him as I see him catch my own mother as she nearly crumples to the floor. Someone shoves me forward and I suddenly understand what's happened. I've been chosen to fight to the death against the girl I've loved since I was little. As I pass my brother, I sneakily hand him the cookies meant for Katniss and take my spot beside her. At least I know I won't live long without her._

I'm being dragged from the room so I fight back. I don't want to leave yet, everything is coming back to me. Everything the Capitol took from me.

_I'm dying. The pain in my leg is more than I can stand. I can feel my life slowly slipping away. Food no longer interests me and water brings no relief. The mud probably doesn't help my wound any I was sure, but I was still afraid of Cato. I didn't want it to be him to find me because he was going to torture me for sure. I had heard the new rule and it started to make me wonder what Katniss was doing. If she was going to try and find me, she wasn't going to do it easily. She had seen me fighting with Cato before he'd hit me with the sword, but I guessed she didn't know where I went because of the venom that had gotten into her system._

_As I drift in and out of consciousness, all I can think about is Katniss. I know she's still alive, she hasn't been p in the sky yet. I had seen the girl Rue up there and I had actually felt sad for her loss because she had seemed so sweet. I whisper Katniss' name at the thought of her and she must have handled the knowledge that Rue was dead because she had seemed to like her._

_It even takes me a minute to realize that it's really her calling my name. I can't help the joke that comes from me or the smile, I'm so happy that I get to spend my final moments with Katniss near me._

" I said to get him out of here! Here can't be around Leta!"

_I actually feel better. I thought for sure I would feel worse from the blood poisoning, I heard it was a bad way to die. I slowly open my eyes to test if I'm dead or not. As I see the cave before me, I'm certain I'm not dead, death would be better than this, I'm certain of it. Plus in my death Katniss wouldn't look so pale with a red halo above her head…_

_A red halo?_

_No! That's blood! I jump up and hurry over to her scooping her up. When I stood up, a needle clunked to the ground and it took me all of two seconds to realize that what Katniss had done. I groan and look down at her, realizing she's still alive. I smooth her hair back and examine her head wound better. It's bad, but I know she'll survive it, she's just lost a lot of blood._

_I treat her like one of my mother's porcelain dolls. I'm careful as I place her back down and dress her head wound. I make sure she's warm and comfortable before I look around the cave. The water is starting to seep in so I put up the plastic to divert the rain. I'm exhausted after this little bit of work and lean against a cave wall to rest. As much as I want to be mad at the vixen before me, I can't help but feel relieved that she's alive still and managed to make it around Cato and Clove almost unscratched._

_It was incredible how under her spell I was. It had taken one glance to infect my thoughts. On song to get into my heart. Now it had taken one kiss, one that had obviously been her first, and I was willing to lay my life down for her without a second thought and couldn't imagine losing her. She also looked so incredibly innocent and frail in her current state that there just was no possible way for me to be angry with her._

" It's not an attack, but still get him away!"

_Katniss frowns as Cinna holds up a white belt. He's explained that it's vital she where it when she's doing her gown shoot. I hate the idea of Katniss having to hide her stomach, but I know it's vital since we don't want Snow to know about the baby yet. I keep my lips sealed shut as Katniss tests out the belt. I'm amazed the second it's on and the bump showing the growth of our baby disappears in the blink of an eye. I laugh a little despite myself, thanking Cinna and tell him he's a genius._

I look up to Katniss. Everything has come rushing back and although my head is killing me, I want to scream that I'm fully recovered! I open my mouth to do so, but stop as I _really_ look at her, noticing that she looks fearful of me and hasn't said a single word since I'd burst through.

Her hair is stuck to her face as she holds her new baby to her chest protectively. She looks exhausted, but I can't blame her after just bringing a new life into the world. Tears spring to my eyes despite how hard I was trying not to have them. Gale stood still holding her other hand, looking like he wouldn't hesitate to slit my throat if I tried to come near him, Katniss or the baby.

My flashbacks have all come crashing back to me in just a matter of seconds yet it had felt like an eternity to me while it had happened. " Katniss…" I whisper as I'm just about out of the door and I'm trying to crawl away on the ground, wanting to beg and plead for her forgiveness. " Please! It isn't my fault! I love you and I want to still be with you!" I call to her as Gale comes forward and blocks my view of Katniss.

" She's mine now Mellark." He growls softly so only I can hear him and then slams the door in my face.

I'm angry at him for a moment, but spin around on my heels to face the one who had pulled me out of the room. Finnick looks a little scared and I completely lose it on him, not realizing how much pent up rage I had for the man. He had let Katniss be brought to thirteen, knowing she was pregnant. He had let her risk her life as the mockingjay while pregnant. He hadn't said a single word to me about her not really losing my baby. He had also neglected to tell me what exactly had been put in Katniss' drink that I had offered her…

I grab two fistfuls of his shirt and push him back against a wall. I knew what had caused Katniss to go into labor, or at least had a good idea. I wasn't going to let him go until I had my answers, no matter how hard he tried to squirm or a third party tugged at me.

" What the hell was that powder you put in Katniss' drink!" I shout as I give him a threatening look. I half hope he tries to get away so I can really rough him up, maybe it's true that I'm half mad but no one could really blame me. " There's a good chance that Katniss just had my baby and so help me God, if that baby is in any way harmed because of this half thought out plan of yours, I will make you regret the second it popped into your mind Odair!" I snap, meaning every word in it.

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><p><em><strong>Super sorry for how long this chapter is, but I had a lot to cram it... Thank you once more to everyone who's added this to their favoritealert stories and add me to their favorite/alert authors! Your reviews have really helped me and I love reading them all, thank you so much!**_

_**Also to those of you following the playlist at home, sorry this chapter's song is a bit of a cheat since it was written for Hunger Games from Peeta's view, but it was what really sparked my idea for how to go about this chapter so please don't be angry!**_


	9. Bread on Fire

_**Katniss**_

Leta is sleeping in my arms and Gale is pacing back and forth. All of the doctors and nurses had left us alone to enjoy our precious bundle. No one else had been allowed in the room with Gale and me yet so I was at least thankful for that much.

" Katniss I don't want you to be around Peeta alone, especially if you have Leta." He said, stopping at the foot of my bed. I wasn't too surprised by the request, he had already muttered several times he wanted me to stay away from ' the damned baker's son'.

I take a deep breath and hold Leta closer to me. The doctors hadn't found anything wrong with her, but couldn't explain what had caused me to go into labor so early. I didn't care personally what had caused me to have her so soon, just glad that she was healthy, had two eyes, two arms, two legs, ten fingers, ten toes and breath was coming in and out of her adorable nose. She had dark hair and light blue eyes that almost looked grey, but the doctors had said her eyes could change color any time in the next nine months. I worried about her already and was so protective of her, but I wasn't going to let Gale boss me around like that.

" Gale you can't do that to Peeta." I whisper as I look down at Leta. So far I can't see anything on her to help me figure out who her father was. _' Oh little girl, why couldn't you have been born with some kind of distinct feature of your father and not just blue eyes so light they can be mistaken for gray?'_ I think with an inward sigh.

" And why can't I?" He demanded fiercely.

" Because at this particular moment she's as much his as she is yours." I point out, forcing my eyes to him. He looked furious, like he hated that I still used that card with him. It was his entire fault that I was in this mess to begin with.

His eyes flashed with something like regret or anger and I knew he knew I was tight. " Her blue eyes mean nothing." He hissed. " Besides, you're my wife Katniss, you don't need to be alone with him. It isn't proper for a woman to be seen alone with another man when she's married"

I rolled my eyes and tried to keep myself from getting too angry with him but I hated it when he tried to boss me around or exaggerate a detail to get his way. " I'm not your wife Gale, remember? We didn't get to do the ceremony because Leta decided to come into the world. On the other hand Gale, I'm technically Peeta's wife and you're my cousin."

This really made him angry and he moved to the side of my bed, grabbing both my shoulders. " Katniss we talked about this. It wasn't official because you never signed papers, he tried to kill you and it only goes until one of you dies. If I recall correctly, Peeta's heart stopped in the arena. He was dead for a few minutes, making your marriage no more binding. Plus we look nothing alike aside from our eyes and nobody actually believes we're cousins." He tells me firmly, like he's trying to grasp to anything possible to keep me from Peeta again.

I drop my gaze down to my daughter who's started to squirm in my arms. " Peeta is a good man Gale. He was there for me in the beginning, during the hardest parts when you couldn't be bothered. At least allow me a few minutes to talk to him." I whisper, fighting back tears. I know it's pointless to fight with Gale, he never gives up with me until he's blue in the face.

Gale doesn't speak for a moment before groaning. " Fine, but I'm going to lay down a few rules first." He mutters before crossing the room. When he's at the door about to pull it open, he looks over his shoulder to smile at me. " I love you Katniss, please know that. I'm so proud of you and Leta Katniss and couldn't be happier right now despite Mellark."

With that he sneaks out and I can hear Peeta ranting about not being allowed to see his daughter. I move and set Leta down on my pillow and look down at her. I couldn't help but smile and feel proud of the little girl, loving her more than anything else in the world. I had never thought anyone could fill my heart so much, more than Prim and Peeta combined, yet it was truly happening.

" My little sweetheart, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you more than anything else in the world Leta." I whisper as I lean down to kiss Leta's forehead.

" I thought you said you love me more than anything else in the world?" Peeta's voice laughs softly as I hear the door shut.

I blush deeply as I turn to look at him. I know I look like a mess, Gale had pointed that out to me, but at the moment I was beyond caring. I had my little Leta in the world at last. " That was true, but I'm sorry, you've been replaced." I joke back, just relaxing. I don't feel scared of him or worry about him being around Leta.

" Ah I see how it is. She's newer and shinier so I get tossed aside?" He asked, grinning at he moved to the foot of my bed and rested his hands on the rails there. It was incredible, his smile was back to how it had always been. It was easy, free, and sincere. It was the time I had truly seen him smile without fear, hesitation or misery.

" Something like that." I reply, picking Leta back up and holding her close to me again. I don't like not having her in my arms plus I want her to be in full view of Peeta so he could see his daughter.

Peeta nodded and his gaze slowly feel to Leta. She yawned a bit and squirmed some, the small movements causing his eyes to glaze over with tears. " She's beautiful Katniss." He whispers breathlessly as his smile softened from playful to fatherly in two seconds flat.

" If you want you can get closer Peeta. I'm not going to bite and she's not going to run away, I promise." She tease as I pat the open part of my bed with my free hand. I have so many questions for him, but I want him to adjust to Leta and I before I get into asking anything.

He looks hesitant but slowly, in careful movements moves around to the side of the bed. " I hope you know I'm breaking about fifty of Gale's rules right now." He tells me as he climbs on the bed and lays beside me.

" Gale doesn't make rules for Leta yet and he certainly doesn't make rules for me." I tell him firmly, making a mental note to have a few words with Gale later about the fact that I was an adult and had been through more than him so he had no right trying to control any aspect of my life.

" Good to know some things never change…" He mutters as I move so he can really look at Leta.

Leta slowly opens her eyes to look up at Peeta, the one who could always make her stir within me. The very first time I had felt her move, it had been with Peeta and ever since then, she had moved only when he was around it seemed. It didn't surprise me the least bit when she'd looked up to him and grinned, giggling a little. Peeta and I both took in a sharp breath, both of us unable to believe what had happened.

" H-her eyes are blue." He stammered out as he took her in even more and reached out to trace the back of one of her hands lightly with a finger. Leta had pulled her hand back, but had just wrapped it around his finger instead and I could almost see him melt under her touch.

" Yes, but they might change too, we're not sure yet." I tell him as I look down at Leta who seems to be happy watching him.

" So you never lost our son?" He asks curiously and it's been the one question I've been dreading.

" No. We were never going to have a son. Shortly after I arrived here, I found out that I was having a girl. Gale and the doctors thought it was best for me to lie and say I lost the baby since we didn't want Snow to know it was more than a trick and we didn't know how you would react with being hijacked…" I trail off, fighting back tears.

" I'm glad you did lie to me. I don't know how I would have reacted before. Had it not been for all the recent memories, there's no telling what could have happened." He says, actually sounding relieved. " I'm so sorry Katniss, for everything I've done to you."

I look to him, still fighting tears. " You never cease to amaze me Peeta." I tell him after a second of thought, shaking my head in disbelief.

He gives me an odd look, not guessing what I mean. " Katniss, you've known me quite well for the last two years, how is that possible?" He murmurs.

" Simply." I start and reach up to place my free hand against his cheek. " I sleep with Gale and you forgive me, asking me to marry you that night to top everything. I tell you I'm pregnant and don't know who the father is, you tell me it doesn't matter, you'd love the baby as your own no matter what. I marry you and instead of trying to keep Snow from knowing our weakness, you tell it to the whole world. I manage to get strangled and shot in a short amount of time as well as lie about our baby and still you tell me you're sorry. I was about to get married to Gale yesterday and I'm supposed to be the one apologizing, yet I'm not." I point out.

Peeta laughs a little and leans in, kissing my forehead. " Katniss you did so much to protect me and while I'm not amused about them, you did what you had to for Leta. Well maybe not the getting shot part, for that I could strangle Hawthorne for even letting you on such a dangerous mission…" He mutters, giving a disdainful shake of his head.

I can't help but roll my eyes. " He really has no power over me." I tell him, wishing everyone would stop assuming it.

" Alright then, I'll stop saying anything about that… So do I get to hold my daughter?" He asks, raising one of his eyebrows and looking eager to get to.

I can't help but laugh and offer her up to him. Seeing the way that he cradled Leta close to him, the sparkle in his eyes and the way his expression grew soft and adoring, any doubts I had about him being not completely cured vanished. He was the old Peeta again. He was _my_ Peeta once more.

" She's so precious… How big is she exactly?" He asked curiously.

" She's seven and a half pounds and twenty inches long. They say that's average and there's not a thing wrong with her." I tell him, feeling more pride swell up within me. How could I not be proud of the little girl in his arms? For eight and a half months she had kicked me, grown within me, been totally dependent on me and here she was perfect and healthy, was that not something to be proud about?

" Well she's anything but average, I'm sure. How could the daughter of Katniss Mellark be average?" He joked as he kissed Leta's forehead.

It made my stomach do flip-flops to hear him call me Katniss Mellark even though technically it's my name. Or it was for a short period of time… " Well Leta _ Everdeen_ already is special, she knows how to make an entrance and she saved someone very important." I tell him softly as she smooth down the soft, wispy dark hairs on her head.

" That she does, but why name her Everdeen? She's my daughter no matter what. She's either mine biologically or she's mine by marriage to you." He points out and he gives me a stubborn look that lets me know he's not going to just let the subject go.

I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat to speak. How am I supposed to tell him that I'm confused by my feelings. That as much as I want to hold him and tell him I love him, I can't because I'm still a little afraid that he might relapse and I still plan on marrying Gale? I know I can't do that to him when I just got him back. I didn't have to say this though, the look on his face told me he already knew it.

His eyes looked sad and the smile slowly started to fade from his face. " I'm always just going to be the boy with the bread aren't I? The girl on fire is always going to choose the boy with the bow, the dangerous one…" He whispered looking down at Leta again. " I'm not going to go down without a fight Katniss, not this time." He pledges, his voice honest and true so I know there's no chance of talking him out of it. " I've never said it out loud, but I always preferred the burnt bread to the stale bread so I'm not afraid of your fire."

With this he hands me Leta and slowly gets off the bed. " I like my bread on fire Katniss just so you know Katniss. Just try and stop me or let Gale get in the middle of you and I or me and Leta." He challenged before lightly kissing my lips and leaving me alone with Leta.

If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn that he just declared war against Gale, Leta and I the spoils of the war.

" He's going to fight hard for us Leta, that man isn't going to stop until we're his again." I laugh and hold Leta tight to me once more, not sure whether to believe Peeta or not.

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><p><em><strong>Sorry if there are any errors in this chapter. I'm super sick, but wanted to get this up for your view pleasures. I will go through, edit and repost this when I'm feeling better. Also, next chapter will be from Gale's view, so warning to anyone who doesn't like to read from Gale's view...<strong>_


	10. Sunday

_**Feeling better at last and I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get this up. Thank you to anyone/everyone who wished me a get well and I hope this explains Gale's behavior in the last chapter. There was a method to that madness, I promise! I wasn't trying to change his character, I swear!**_

_**Also, realized I haven't done this so I figured now is a good time.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or the fantastic characters (seriously wish I owned Peeta and Finnick though...) and when I look in the mirror I don't see Suzanne Collins sadly...**_

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><p><em><strong>Gale<strong>_

I didn't know what came over me, it was unlike me to treat Katniss in such a demanding manner. She wasn't one of my possessions, she wasn't my property, she was Katniss Everdeen. To control her was to try and control fire itself, a reason I always found her Hunger Games nickname entertaining. She was beautiful and shimmered when you looked at her, but when you made her mad, she could burn you to a crisp and you would regret ever playing with her. I had done just that though, I had poked the fire too hard and now had created a wildfire.

Katniss had snapped at me for setting down rules with Peeta, telling me she wasn't going to let me near her or Leta until I apologized. I didn't know what was coming over her either, but then again she had just had Leta only a few hours before. I would have probably called her crazy and just dealt with her wrath, figuring she'd forgive me eventually, but I couldn't stand the thought of being separated from Leta for something so stupid, especially when I was going to have to leave soon anyway.

I groaned a little as I stepped off the elevator and made my way to Peeta's compartment. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to knock on the door and stand there patiently.

" Moment." I heard his groggy voice call from within, making me roll my eyes. I really didn't want to be here in the first place and didn't want to wait for hi either even though it was for a short period of time.

" Be warned, it's only me and I'm here on a peace mission." I told him, not wanting him to be surprised when he opened the door because I wasn't too sure he was really cured. Could seeing a baby born really be enough to overcome the amount of venom that had been pumped into him?

Peeta's eyes are wide and he looks suspicious as he opens his door. He had been pulling his shirt on and it was obvious that he'd been sleeping for a while because his hair was a mess. His eyes dropped to the two bottles of liquor I had snuck down as a peace offering. " Uh to what do I owe this pleasure?" He asked, his brows coming together as he looked back to my face.

" I thought you and I could have a talk and a bit of a celebration. We did just become dads and honestly I was a bit of a jerk earlier." I tell him, hoping it sounds like a good enough excuse, at least better than ' Katniss made me'.

" Where did you even get those?" He asks, moving aside though and allowing me in.

" I know this guy, Onyx. He smuggles me in some bottles of liquor and I help him a little more during our training by covering for him so he can leave earlier to be with his wife and baby." I explain, moving to sit in the chair at his desk.

" Oh yeah, I met him earlier. He wanted me to congratulate Katniss." He mumbled as he sat on the edge of his bed. He rubbed his knee and I saw his pant leg come up, revealing his fake leg. I did my best not to stare at him and I looked away quickly, it was easy to forget he had a fake leg sometimes.

" He's a good guy." I tell him with a shrug, handing him a bottle and opening my own. I hold it up for a toast so he opens his own and holds it up. " To shared fatherhood and the woman who has brought it upon us." I sigh before sipping the sharp liquid.

Peeta is a little hesitant, but eventually takes a drink as well. " Shared fatherhood? You're going to let me be involved with Leta?" He asks, obviously trying to hide the hope in his voice.

I take a deep breath before slowly nodding. " She's no longer my broken little bird, Katniss. She's a grown woman now. She's eighteen, has survived two Hunger Games, sparked a war, been shot, stood up to Coin and Snow and now has a daughter. She's stood up for everything she believes in, has risked her life for everybody but herself, I can't control her." I tell him softly, staring down the neck of the bottle in my hand.

" Wow… I never really thought about Katniss that way." He whispers taking another drink. " So I'm allowed to hold Leta, be around Katniss and help with Leta?"

" Yes, if Katniss will let you, I can't stop her." I explain and take another long drink of the liquor. It's not quite as hard to swallow like the stuff we had in twelve, but it still left a burning sensation on its way down. I was going to have to thank Onyx for it when I joined him in a couple of days, I liked this stuff from District one better.

Peeta seemed to guess something was up and was studying my face. " Gale this is more than just about not being able to control Katniss isn't it?"

I nod my head, figuring it was better to be honest with him since the odds were he wouldn't remember in the morning if I had it my way. " Correct… I'm leaving for the Capitol in three days." I tell him taking a couple more long drinks of the alcohol, ignoring the way it weighed heavily on my stomach, almost like a rock.

Peeta coughed on his drink and looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head. " Does Katniss know?" He hisses, giving me a fearful look.

" No, I haven't told her yet. The deal was that I was to be deployed three days after Leta was born. Coin had come up with the idea herself because she didn't want to have to deal with Katniss or I should I have to leave before she gave birth." I explain, no real emotion in my voice.

" I can see why you'd keep this from her. She might get very upset and won't let you go without a fight." He agrees, taking a long drink before setting his bottle aside. " Coin wants me out of the field too, if only to make propos of me fighting. I don't think I can do it though. I don't like this fighting, I wish there was a more peaceful way to achieve our goals, I'm not very violent, even for the purpose of only a camera."

I can't fight him there, honestly I was positive he wouldn't have survived the games without Katniss. He was too peaceful, even for his own good. " Well then don't do it, fight her if you have to. Do whatever you can to not go Peeta. It's best you just stay out of this war if you don't think you can handle it. You didn't know what you were doing except trying to leave the arena with Katniss, none of this is because of you. You have no place in this war just like you had no place in the games." I tell him honestly, sure that the alcohol is starting to affect me.

He says nothing so the two of us just fall into a comfortable silence. We drink from our bottles and I can see he's trying as hard as I am not to think about the coming storm. The alcohol is really starting to affect me, I can tell for sure now. I close my eyes and set down my almost empty bottle.

" That Sunday that Katniss and I went on our little picnic, I knew what was going to happen, I had planned it all out. I carried her back to her house and set her on her couch without her mom and sister any wiser. I had made her cry and she claimed to hate me for not trying to save a poor little bird so I had thought my plan had gone wrong. I kissed her forehead, but she grabbed me and begged me to stay. I was only human Peeta, I couldn't turn her down." I whisper as I stare at my bottle absently.

" I couldn't stop myself from kissing her and promising her the world. I let her lead me up to her room. It was perfect, everything I had imagined it would be like with her and so much more. I had thought I was in heaven and drifted off into the best sleep I had ever had with her in my arms. That all changed when she woke up and screamed my freaking head off. Have you ever had an angry woman who believes she was wronged yell at you while it feels like all the miners in in the District are banging on your brain desperately?" I ask with a small chuckle, looking to him with a small smile.

Peeta shrugs and I notice his bottle is empty. I hadn't noticed but he had been drinking it heavily while I talked about Katniss. " No idea, but I'll see in the morning I'm sure. I planned on apologizing to Delly for kissing her." He sighs and tosses his bottle in a trash bin. " I know what you mean about Katniss though, you can't help but want to stay with her, protect her, hold her when that armor she burdens herself with cracks." He grumbles, shaking his head.

I nod and finish my bottle, tossing it with his. " I was going to ask her to marry me, but I heard you talking with your brothers and mom a few weeks after out not so little outing. The day after she told me she was pregnant was the day I had hoped to make her my wife to be exact… She skipped our Sunday hunt and I went to the bakery to trade some squirrels with your father for some of those cheese buns you make that she loves so much, hoping to at least earn a chance to talk with her by bribing my way in the house. I heard you saying she had finally accepted your proposal and you were making plans for a real wedding, not a Capitol affair. Your family sounded ecstatic to know you two were going to get married and have a baby together. I ran from the bakery without my bread, running to Haymitch and Katniss' houses. Haymitch and Prim told me the same thing, she moved in with you." I don't know why I'm telling him everything, I guess it was all to blame on the alcohol.

Peeta smiles a bit at the memory of his conversation. He had sounded so proud and overjoyed to be finally marrying the girl he had loved for eleven years, had saved the life of and was going to have a small family with her. He was going to get everything he had ever wanted that day it seemed and I had wanted nothing more than to take that all away from him.

I wasn't sure what else to say, but there was a sudden rapid, almost urgent knock on the door. Peeta rolls his eyes and lets out an annoyed huff before staggering to the door. _' He's as drunk as I am.'_ I think with a small snicker. There was no way either of us were going to remember our talk tonight in the morning.

" Soldier Mellark you're needed in command at once, Snow's sent out a message for you and soldier Everdeen." A gruff voice says, his voice breaking a bit so I know he's nervous about whatever's happened.

I'm on my feet in an instant and standing behind Peeta. I don't recognize the boy in front of us, he must have been one of the new recruits brought to thirteen, but his eyes go wide at the sight of me. " If it's about Katniss and from Snow, I have every right to know what it is. I'm engaged to Katniss so I'm coming along." I tell him firmly before pushing past both of them and hurrying to the elevator. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't even sure if we were still engaged but he didn't need to know that.

Peeta is as tense as I am as he joins me and the young soldier in the elevator. None of us say a word, but once we're on the correct floor, Peeta and I made a mad dash to the command room. Everyone is in there it seems, Boggs, Plutarch, Katniss, Coin, everyone important is in the room. Haymitch and Coin are the only ones sitting, everyone else looks too tense to sit down. Katniss runs to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. I try to whisper words of comfort as I wrap my arms around her too and look to Haymitch with Leta sleeping in his arms.

I'm sober again, the second I heard the soldier say Katniss and Snow's names in the same sentence it had been like a bucket of ice water dumped on my head and everything was clear again. I look to Coin expectantly, I want to know what is going on. Katniss lets go of me to take one of my hands and with her other takes one of Peeta's. I try not to let it bother me, knowing Peeta needs support and she needs both of our supports as well.

" Very well now that Mellark and Hawthorne have been kind enough to grace us with their presence, show them the video." Coin grumbles and all our attentions move to the screen in the front of the room.

The Capitol seal comes up and the anthem plays, giving way to Snow lounging in his office. He gives his signature evil grin before getting right into things. " My dear people of Panem, I have glorious news for you. Today I received word of a most amazing event that took place just a few hours ago. I would love to extend my congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Mellark on the birth of their beautiful, healthy daughter Leta. It seems that they have fooled us all into thinking she had lost the baby, but I for one can not be happier for the young couple." He begins in a chipper, easy tone. His voice was too even, too cool to actually sound like he was trying to do something kind. He was trying to scare Katniss, taunt her, I guessed it worked though from the way she started to tremble.

Katniss seemed to be struggling to breathe and I looked to her seeing her pale instantly. I didn't hear the rest of the message, Katniss' eyes fluttered shut suddenly. She started to fall back and Peeta and I scrambled to catch and she fell into my arms. " Catnip!" I exclaimed as I slowly eased her back and went to my knees to support her in my lap.

I look to Peeta, but his eyes are now glued to the screen again. I look up just in time to see Snow stand up. " I will step down as my role of President of Panem if you bring me your child. Give me Leta and I will bring this war to an end." He vows.

All eyes turn to Peeta, Katniss and I. Peeta slowly lowers himself into a chair and I look to Katniss. _' Oh God…'_ is all I can think. _' We're screwed…'_


	11. Lullaby

_**Peeta**_

Katniss is lying on my bed, staring up at my ceiling. Leta was snuggled down in a basket of my laundry that I had just had done this morning. Katniss hasn't spoken two words since we left the command center. I don't blame her, words for once aren't coming easily to me either, Snow's words are still ringing in my ears and feel like their suffocating me. I pace the compartment, my eyes on the floor as I let his words run through my mind on a loop of sorts.

" _My dear people of Panem, I have glorious news for you. Today I received word of a most amazing event that took place just a few hours ago. I would love to extend my congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Mellark on the birth of their beautiful, healthy daughter Leta. It seems that they have fooled us all into thinking she had lost the baby, but I for one cannot be happier for the young couple." Snow says in a way that leaves little to no doubt in my mind that he knows exactly what he's doing. He's making a liar of Katniss and the rebellion._

" _I know how important family is and I want you to know I feel your pain. I don't want to have my family ripped apart and I feel as if your daughter, Leta, is my own grandchild. I know this rebellion means everything to you and I have come to a conclusion. I know you two will be so busy supporting and promoting the new government of Panem should the rebellion miraculously gain the upper hand I know it will be impossible to give your daughter the attention she deserves. I have in my hand a document with my sworn statement to what I'm about to offer you." He says, holding up a piece of paper. " I will step down as my role of President of Panem if you bring me your child. Give me Leta and I will bring this war to an end."_

" You're thinking about it aren't you?" Katniss whispers weakly.

I stop my pacing and look to her. She's obviously been crying, she looks exhausted and weak. I can't say I blame her, she's had a very long day. " How could I not?" I ask with a sigh, stopping to look down at Leta sleeping peacefully in the basket. I didn't even want to imagine what Snow would do if he ever got his hands on such a sweet, young, innocent life.

" Just think of something else. Only one of us should be worrying about this." Her voice cracks a bit and I know she's hit her limit for the night.

Coin had pulled back on her deal with Gale. He was going to be leaving first thing in the morning to go to the Capitol so he had to spend the night getting ready to leave. Katniss had not taken the news so well and had broken down further. I had had to carry her back to my compartment, Haymitch bringing in Leta. Haymitch had promised to send Rory or Prim with a basinet for Leta so she didn't have to sleep in a basket all night or for however long she stayed in my compartment.

" That's where you're wrong Katniss." I tell her honestly, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. " Gale and I might not know who her father is, but we both love her very much already. She's just like you, she doesn't know the power she holds over people yet. She is worth fighting for, just like you. Gale is going to the Capitol tomorrow to try and smooth things over with the important troops there and I'm going to help how I can here. You're only job is to assure the people you were just trying to protect Leta and that you never meant to play on their emotions like you had when it was announced you lost our baby." I remind her.

" Such silly, pointless jobs though." She scoffs. " The people will believe what they want to no matter what. Even you Peeta cannot persuade everyone to believe the reasons I did what I did."

" But these jobs are important, don't you see that? One baby can change everything Katniss. You saw what happened at the interviews when I announced your engagement and I've been told that people were furious when they were told you lost our baby because of the games. People will know the fear of Snow and after his message tonight they will understand exactly why you made sure to make up for my mistake and not let him know he could control us in another way." I explain, reaching out to take one of her hands.

She jerks it away from me and rolls on her side, her back to me. I let out a soft sigh and open the door when there's a knock. Rory brings in a small wooden bed and sets it down, saying nothing before leaving quickly. I'm starting to wonder if no one but Gale really wants to speak to me and that's a scary thought. Even Katniss now seems ticked at me, but for what I'm at a loss. I told her the truth, I had always been nothing but honest with her so she had no reason to be angry…

I carefully move Leta to her new bed and lay down beside Katniss. I watch Leta sleep, it's peaceful and I know that I did at least one thing right even if everyone around me is still hesitant and isn't sure how to deal with me. I'm not sure what the plan is going to be, but with Snow having his eye on Leta, I'm not happy. I don't know if Katniss is even considering his offer, but I would sooner take Leta and run than have him lay an eye on her in person. I know Katniss never wanted marriage or kids, it had even been a struggle for me to convince her to marry me when we did, but even Katniss couldn't be so heartless or careless to want Snow to take our baby girl.

I can't even begin to think about Snow taking her and raising her to be a monster like I'm sure he would just like I can't imagine her being Gale's daughter. Leta is mine, even if I had thought she was going to be a boy in the beginning. Now that I was seeing her, listening to her breathe, I'm glad I have a daughter. A daughter that I fully intend to shower with gifts, praises and adoration for the rest of her life.

Leta started to fuss after a while and I smiled a bit, knowing it was my turn to take care of her since Katniss was asleep. I pick her up and she seems to calm down a bit and it becomes obvious that she's just fussy and doesn't need to be cleaned up or fed. I can only think of one way to calm her down quickly ad keep her from waking her mommy.

" I'm sorry if my voice isn't as good as mommy's. Your grandfather and mommy are the real singers of your family so please don't judge your daddy too much." I whisper to her with a small smile. She looks up at me with her pretty blue-grey eyes and I start to rock her gently. " Please also forgive daddy for knowing only one lullaby for fussy babies, I'm the youngest and daddy never got to meet your cousin and learn from your auntie and uncle. "

With no more hesitation I keep my eyes on her face and quickly recall the song my mother sang to my brothers and I on particularly bad nights when I was little and the one she had taught my brother Rye and I to sing to our new infants.

' _Your baby blues  
>So full of wonder<br>Your curly cues  
>Your contagious smile<br>And as I watch  
>You start to grow up<br>All I can do is hold you tight_

_Knowing clouds will rage in_  
><em>Storms will race in<em>  
><em>But you will be safe in my arms<em>  
><em>Rains will pour down<em>  
><em>Waves will crash all around<em>  
><em>But you will be safe in my arms<em>

_Story books are full of fairy tales_  
><em>Of kings and queens and the bluest skies<em>  
><em>My heart is torn just in knowing<em>  
><em>You'll someday see the truth from lies<em>

_Knowing clouds will rage in_  
><em>Storms will race in<em>  
><em>But you will be safe in my arms<em>  
><em>Rains will pour down<em>  
><em>Waves will crash all around<em>  
><em>But you will be safe in my arms<em>

_Castles they might crumble_  
><em>Dreams may not come true<em>  
><em>But you are never all alone<em>  
><em>Because I will always<em>  
><em>Always love you<em>

_Clouds will rage in_  
><em>Storms will race in<em>  
><em>But you will be safe in my arms<em>  
><em>Rains will pour down<em>  
><em>Waves will crash all around<em>  
><em>But you will be safe in my arms<em>

_In my arms.'_

By the time I finish my off key and soft song, Leta is asleep. I made sure to keep my voice low as to not wake Katniss. It seemed in vain though as I set Leta back down to sleep and kissed her forehead, whispering to her that I loved her.

" You've never sang before." Katniss whispers, making me stiffen and freeze.

" You never asked me to sing to you and besides you're the one with the real voice." I point out trying to get myself back under control and keep a threatening blush at bay.

" Well I had no idea you even knew songs, you never seemed to pay much attention in music." She points out, making me laugh a bit. What she didn't know was that I did pay attention during our music classes, just not to our teacher. " I've never heard that song before though, you're mother taught it to you?" The way she says it shows that she's actually surprised.

" Yeah… My mother wasn't always such a heartless witch. When my brothers and I were much younger, she was the greatest mom in the world and when I came home from the reaping she went back to that mother, sweet, kind, compassionate…" I explain as I straighten up and turn back to face her.

" Why did she act so cruelly towards you that time you gave me the bread and was always yelling at your father and brothers?" She looks as if she can't even imagine my mother being kind and really I can't blame her.

" My brother Rye was selected for the games his first reaping. We were too young to remember it, but it made my mom realize that she could lose either of the three of us any given year. She didn't want to have the heartaches that came with a truly caring mother watching her son fight for his life or even hear his name called. Luckily another boy who I guess was very depressed took my brother's place and so my family was spared that… After I got reaped the first time, my mother started to breathe easier because Liam was too old for another reaping and I was supposed to be safe." I explain with a small shrug.

Katniss is silent but reaches out to take my hand, pulling me on the bed with her. I gaze at her lovingly, I can't help it. I don't know if this girl before me loves me anymore or if she really has replaced me with the boy with the bow, but I'm not ready to give her up without one hell of a fight. I know that she loved me at some point, that night we shared in the moonlight didn't mean nothing to her and it certainly meant everything to me.

" Thank you Peeta…. For everything. Leta would be very lucky to have you as a father." Katniss whispers, laying her head on my chest and I wrap my arms protectively around her.

" It's my pleasure Katniss and Leta already is lucky to have such an incredible mother." I tell her, kissing the top of her head.

I hold Katniss in the familiar way. I know she hasn't been sleeping well, the dark circles under her beautiful eyes let me know that she's been having terrible nightmares that Gale can't chase away. I know that tonight she'll get an amazing nights rest and in the morning she'll say goodbye to Gale.

" Sleep well Katniss, my love." I sigh once she's asleep and I close my eyes, drifting off into dreams of what it would be like had we been able to have Leta back home in twelve without the Quarter Quell's twist…

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><p><em><strong>Sorry this chapter is just a bunch of fluff, I had a bad day and so I wrote this fluffy chapter to make up for my bad day... Next chapter will be from Gale again and will have quite a bit more drama and excitement, promise!<strong>_


	12. Marriage

_**I'm sorry but I lied. I had started this chapter from Gale's point of view but suddenly a brilliant idea came to me and I had to change views. I will be doing Gale's view soon though, I promise! This one's kind short compared to my other chapterss, but I hope you enjoy two updates in one day, you're so spoiled! Please keep reviewing my story, I love each and every review I get, it really helps me figure out to approach a situation if I come up blank! Thanks so much to all my reviewers and those who me to their favorite/alert lists, it really makes me feel warm and fuzzy to get the email alerts!**_

* * *

><p><strong><em><span>Katniss<span>_**

It's been thirty days and still nothing from Gale.

Thirty-three days since he left for the Capitol, but thirty-three since any news of him as reached thirteen's command center.

I would know if any news of him came in, I pretty much live in the command center anymore. Peeta and Finnick have tried to get me to get some rest out of the command center but I refuse. I tend to Leta when needed because Peeta hardly ever leaves my side and has been making sure that Leta's well taken care of still in my absence. Every now and then though, Peeta, Finnick or Haymitch will somehow convince me to take Leta back to Peeta's compartment, but I return to command as quickly as possible once Peeta returns to the compartment too.

It's amazing how much Leta's grown in such a short amount of time. She's much plumper, but I've been told she's perfectly healthy and she's grown longer. Her dark hair has started to grow out, curling some. Her eyes become more blue with each passing day but I still won't let myself give into the hope that she does belong to Peeta, my sister and mother have blue eyes and my mom's from the same class and part of town as Peeta so it wouldn't be unusual. She's more alert, her wide eyes always searching around her and she squirms more in my arms, wanting to see all the strange new things around her. She's incredibly sleeping through the night as well, Peeta having to wake her up to bring her to me when it's time for her to be fed.

The thought of Peeta makes me sigh. He's been so understanding and supportive of me since Gale left. I swear he gets as little sleep as I do judging by the dark marks under his eyes, something that worries me and makes me feel terrible. He's such an amazing man and an incredible father, it's not fair what I've been putting him through. He doesn't even know why I'm so panicked about Gale since it's not uncommon to lose contact with a squad for a couple of weeks, especially ones that are going to be trying to get to the heart of the Capitol, but he doesn't push it, or so everyone in command believes…

Three days after Gale arrived in the Capitol, I received a letter from Gale. I had been so ecstatic that I had taken it and ran from the command center to new special spot in the woods surrounding thirteen that he and I had discovered, it was just a small clearing with dandelions and was surrounded by tall trees. I had ripped it open and had sunk straight to my knees when the words started to sink in. I knew the letter still by heart, whenever I was forced back into the compartment that Peeta and I shared, I read it the second I was left alone.

_To the ever radiant Mrs. Katnisss Mellark,_

_Not what you were expecting my dear? Thought your dear 'cousin' was safe now that you've had a baby? I know the truth and many people still suspect it, Leta possibly isn't Peeta's and might be Gale's. I want this war to come to an end and I'm not above playing these dirty games with you._

_You rescued Peeta and the other tributes from my mansion, but Gale will not be so easy to find. He's hidden where even your spies have no idea, only my spies in thirteen have an idea as to where he's at. I'd hate to have to kill off such a strong, independent boy or break his spirit, especially when he has a family he has to support…._

_If you ever want to see Gale again you will do exactly as I tell you. Tell anyone who asks who this letter is from that it is indeed from your precious Gale Hawthorne and that's he's alright, he's going on a special mission. Make them believe you, I know you can mockingjay. Also, you are to really marry Peeta. Leave no doubt in the minds of Panem that you love him and he's Leta's father. Once you have married him, I will release his where abouts to you._

_Do it Katniss, we both know there's no point in resisting me._

_Tell my lovely new granddaughter that her grandfather sends his love and that we soon will be together._

_Cornelius Snow_

It had knocked the breath out me. It had taken me a good ten minutes to catch my breath and gather myself up. I had quickly folded the letter up and shoved it in a pocket carelessly before returning. I told everyone who asked what Snow had told me, trying to buy myself a little more time. Now I was certain that Snow had meant what he said and was running surely out of patience. I knew exactly what to do.

" Here's mommy… I told you she'd still be here." I hear Peeta coo behind me. I look down at my watch and see that it's time for Leta to be fed and let out a soft sigh, knowing exactly what I have to do. He greets Fulvia before coming around in front of me, beaming. He loves getting to be with Leta and spend all this time with her.

" How's my special girl today?" I ask in a slightly higher pitch voice, one the doctors have told me is good to use with Leta.

" Good… She discovered her toes today and spent ten minutes giggling at them." He told me as he sunk into a chair in front of me and held out the blanket I used to cover myself when I nursed. The doctors had told me that in thirteen they had a formula I could use for her, but I wanted to keep things as close as I could to what it would be like in twelve had Peeta and I not been called to the Quell.

" Well she's a bright girl, I knew it wouldn't take her long to really start discovering herself." I giggle as I drape the blanket over my shoulder and start feeding Leta. I rock her gently and chew on my lower lip, momentarily forgetting about Fluvia being in the room as well.

" Katniss is something wrong?" Peeta asks softly and I look up to see him watching me curiously. His blue eyes are sparkling with concern and I don't like it, I want him to be happy. He should always be happy and not worry about me anymore.

" No, actually I have something I want to talk to you about." I tell him with a soft sigh. I'm so used to feeding Leta that it doesn't even bother me anymore and I can keep up a conversation now without gasping from surprise or trailing off in the middle of a conversation because I'm so focused on her.

" Well you can talk to me about anything you want Katniss." He assures me with a small smile, his eyes still fearful.

" Good because this isn't just a light subject and I'm sure that you'll want to really discuss this with me." I say, knowing I'm just struggling to find something to keep from facing his inevitable rejection. What Snow didn't realize in his instructions was that Peeta would never want to marry me, not after what I had done to him. " Peeta, I've really been thinking about it since you've been cured of your hijacking… Peeta I really want us to get married officially. If you still want me to be your wife, I want nothing more than for you and I to have the life we dreamed of in twelve, raising our baby together, me being the baker's wife, I can't think of anything better." My voice is trembling but my eyes keep on his, waiting for the no to escape.

Peeta's eyes go wide and I think his lips threaten to turn into a scowl for a second before he suddenly leans forward to kiss me. The kiss is hard, but passionate and after a few moments of shock, I relax and kiss him back just as passionately. " Katniss, I want nothing more than to marry you! Please tell me you're not joking." He pleads softly as he pulls back, gasping for breath.

I give him a small smile. I know him very well. He never takes sugar in his tea, double knots his shoes, can't sleep unless he has an open window, doesn't thrash in his sleep, only fears losing me in his dreams and his favorite color is orange, like the sunset. That might not seem like major things to someone else, but to me, they're everything. He loved me more than anyone on the planet ever could, his love for me was more important to him than his own life, a fact he's shown over and over again. Snow took him, tortured him and tried to turn him into a monster because he knew I cared so much for him. Didn't that count for anything? My whole body screamed for him and my heart ached to just stop resisting what really was inevitable, why was I trying to push him away so adamantly?

Gale had talked about him and I being fated because we had run into one another in the woods and our fathers had died in the same accident, didn't Peeta and I have a stronger story than that? Our parents once meant for marriage ended up finding love elsewhere. His father had made a point to show my mother and I to him the first day of class and not too long after he had saved my life, given me hope when I didn't have any? He had fought for me in our first games, had done everything to convince me to be the victor of our second games, taken torture from the Capitol and was now pretty much raising my new born daughter while I skulked. Where Gale had turned me away at the news of me being pregnant, Peeta had embraced it and had gotten so excited, making me actually look forward to when our baby was going to be born. Peeta was the one I was really destined for a voice in the back of my head screamed and at the moment, I couldn't ignore it.

" It's not a joke and I'm not just trying to use you Peeta, I mean it." I tell him honestly. Snow might have started to push me towards it, but this was my decision.

" Of course Katniss! Let's do this!" He exclaims, wrapping his arms around me.

I laugh a bit as Leta starts crying, not liking that she had been squished. He laughs too and when I pull Leta out of from under the nursing blanket. She's wailing and Peeta blushed lightly, taking her from me so that I can fix my top. He's apologizing to her and telling her the happy news about her mommy and daddy getting married again, this time officially so we could be a real family.

" Oh my gosh! We should do a propo!" Fluvia exclaims and both Peeta and I look to her with wide eyes, having forgotten about her. She looks teary eyed.

" What do you mean?" Peeta asks curiously, he hasn't even attempted a propo since I lied to him about miscarrying his son.

" We'll televise your whole wedding just like we did for Annie and Finnick only it won't just be recaps, it will be the entire thing! The exchanging of vows, the toasting, the whole nine yards! Live on every TV in Panem! Oh it will be so fantastic! I'll go talk to Coin and Plutarch right now, we can even get it done tonight!" She squeals before hurrying out of the room without another word from Peeta or I.

I look at him with wide eyes but he just shrugs. " It's still early in the day and so you have time to back out." He laughs as he kisses my forehead.

I blush lightly like I always do when he kisses my forehead. " I'm not going to back out Peeta." I tell him before carefully taking Leta back. " I need to tell my mom and Prim so I'll see you around bread boy." I joke before leaving command willingly for the first time since Gale left…


	13. Breaking

_**Gale**_

I've lost track of how many days I've been in the Capitol. Snow's kept me imprisoned in a room with no windows or visible door and so I have no way of telling time for absolute certain. I estimate the passing of time by how often food is slipped into my room through a small slot, but even at that it's just a shot in the dark of how many days I've been trapped. I don't know what's happening outside of my cell, they don't let me even hear even the voices of the peacekeepers keeping watch on me.

I spend most of my time laying on my cot, the room's white walls, floor and ceiling is blinding so I keep my eyes shut the majority of the time. I don't sleep, or at least not what I would consider to be sleep, it's just a restless state where my mind goes back over every mistake I've ever made in my life, both large and small. I'm in a constant numb state now however when I'm not sleeping, it makes it better than dealing with myself. It's been getting harder and harder for me every day not to crack under this pressure of boredom and being by myself, I feel like going insane and giving in, begging Snow for any form of bargain to get out…

Food is slipped through the slot and I turn my head to glare at the food, instantly forgetting my terrible thoughts of feeding Snow's oversized ego. Instead of letting my mind linger on how once more I'm fed without any sign of human life as well, I try hard to just focus on the food provided. It's some kind of soup with bread that contained some kind of seeds in it and my usual water bottle sits neatly beside the tempting looking food. It looks appetizing, but I know the truth, I've fallen for the trick time and time again. The soup will be overly salted and cold, a fact I already know because I can't smell it and the bread will be stale and tasteless.

This is meal three and my last one for a few more hours, the day is almost over. I quickly add it to my mental list before it's forgotten, knowing this is my ninety-ninth meal. If I've been doing my math correctly then and have figured out their system, I've been here thirty-three days, but once more there's no way for me to know for certain.

I can tell the different meal times by the food. The first meal of my ' day' is grits, a meal I am familiar with from home and it's provided with a water bottle and toast smothered in butter and jams. The grits are like cement, harder to choke down than the liquor I've bought from Ripper in the past and the toast is stale and burnt on one side. They try to at least tempt me into the eat the bread by smothering the toast in jams, but they are too sweet for my taste leaving the water the only real edible thing.

My second meal is a sandwich of sorts, the bread once more stale, the meats, vegetables and cheeses probably on the verge of becoming inedible and once more, another water bottle sits beside it. I've tried to gag these down as well, but it sits heavy on my stomach like a rock, making me sick to the point where it reappears. It's sad to say, but it almost tastes better coming up than it does going down…

The third meal is the only real edible meal, some kind of soup that's cold and either bland or overly seasoned, chunks of stale bread and the traditional water bottle. The meals are spaced with hours in between so I just assume they're breakfast, lunch and dinner so when the first meal comes again I know it's been another day in prison.

I don't make a move for the food even though my stomach is protesting quite loudly and painfully. The only time I eat is when I'm absolutely starving and even then it's only so that I don't get knocked out and have a tube put in me to force feed me like they did my first few days in the Capitol or wherever this new found Hell was. I had eaten four meals ago so I still had a few more that I could skip before I was forced into eating the terrible food that they gave me. It was hard for me to believe that so many people praised the food from the Capitol when I had eaten much better when I was back in twelve and barely making it.

I turn away from the food, a soft sigh of longing escapes my lips as my eyes close out of lack of interest. I've never wished so badly to go back to the days of struggling. Of working in the mines, sneaking out to the woods and the time of the games, the days I had hoped to put as far behind me as possible the morning of the Reaping that changed everything.

It wasn't Katniss' name that was called, but it might as well have been. I knew the second I heard Prim's name that Katniss was going to do what she had been doing for the five years leading up to that morning, she was going to take Prim's place. Save her. I had thought of volunteering as I pulled Prim away, but I knew Katniss would have never forgiven me. I knew how their mom was, someone had to provide for the family and keep Prim from taking out tesserae. I had never thought for a second though that when Mellark had been called up to the stage that I would regret not taking his place and it would haunt me every day since then. I never stopped to think about my actions, not once until Katniss had been called back to the games with Peeta.

Actually I believe my regret started weeks before then.

_I knew I should have felt bad for skipping Katniss and I's Sunday hunts, they were important to her and helped her feel normal for a couple of hours. She's been struggling ever since she came home and hunting helped her cope with everything, it brought out the old Katniss I knew so well and had grown to love. I couldn't face her though, not after she'd kicked me out of her room. I deserved it and I was doing exactly what she'd wanted, I'm staying away. It killed me, but I had no other options, I had already ruined everything and there was no guarantee she'd even show up to our meeting spot._

_I can't hide the surprise on my face as I turn a corner and see Katniss sitting outside my house on a broken crate. I had stepped out to run an errand for my mom and had done my best to avoid Katniss' path to the Victors Village as to not have to deal with the awkwardness it was sure to bring should we cross paths, even by accident. I guess I had been wrong so now I'm stuck with two options, turn and walk away like a puppy with my tail between my legs or face her like a man, the man my father had tried to raise me into before he died and the one my mother told me I was every morning._

" _Hello Katniss." I say with a sigh as I make my mind up and approach her. I set the bag of dirty laundry my mother's supposed to wash for work aside and cross my arms over my broad chest that not too long ago she had kissed, ran her fingers over and had even fallen asleep on_

_I have so many emotions running through me that for once I have really no idea how to act around her and the tear stains on her face let me know this isn't something I can just try and ignore. I swear that if Mellark has hurt her in any way what so ever, I will personally rip out his vocal cords and strangle him to death with them._

" _We need to talk Gale." She tells me, her voice emotionless and she's just staring at the ground refusing to look at me._

_I sigh again and kneel down in front of her so we're eye level, reaching out to lift her chin up so she has to look at me. " I can see that… Despite everything Katniss, I'm still your friend so tell me what's got you so down." I whisper. I'm not used to Katniss being so expressive with her emotions, she's usually only showing two emotions, a scowl when we're within the fence or a proud smile while hunting._

" _Peeta got me this thing from the Capitol, he had to pull a few strings and call in a couple of favors to get it for me. It's ninety-nine percent accurate and at this point I have no real option but believe it and there's just no denying it anymore Gale." She tells me as she starts to fight back more tears that are filling her eyes once more. She sounds nervous and she's starting to tremble, signs that she's truly afraid for whatever's happened._

_Nothing good that comes from her mouth ever involves Peeta or the Capitol, especially in the same sentence._

" _It's this test that can be taken to tell a woman if she's pregnant or not for sure without having to wait weeks for all the symptoms. I got really sick yesterday and it made Peeta panic so he forced me to take one, he'd been suspecting for a while, but last night was the first time he'd voiced his fears…" She trails off as she wipes at her tears and allows it to sink into me what she's saying._

" _You're pregnant?" I hiss, taken completely by surprise after a few minutes of silence. I drop my hand from her face as I start to do math in my head. It's been a few weeks since she I had spent our drunken night together. I don't have a very good understanding of pregnancies along most things about woman so I wasn't sure if the time passed between then and now was enough for her to know she was pregnant with my kid or if it was another's baby._

_As if reading these thoughts on my mind, she sucks in a deep breath and answers my verbal question with a nod. " I don't know who's it is Gale. You and I slept together and then a couple of days later Peeta and I spent the night together…. It's either yours or his." She chokes out between heavy sobs that seem to start rendering her speechless._

" _Then it's his." I insist in a bitter tone. I knew that what we had done hadn't been special to either one of us really, how could something only done because of alcohol be special? Yes it had been her first time, but she probably didn't remember most of it. It had probably been better with her with Mellark anyway, just like everything else in her life since she had first been rushed off to the Capitol._

_She looks at me with a bit of a hurt expression and internally I regret it but I force a firm, uncaring expression to my face. " I don't know for sure Gale, I won't-"_

" _There's no way I could have gotten you pregnant. You slept with him and obviously he cares about you as more than just another notch on his headboard so let him take the responsibility." I lie, interrupting her and moving to my feet. " I don't want to hear any more about this Katniss so I'd appreciate it if you never bothered me with your pointless drama again."_

_Before she can say anything, I pick my bag back up and rush in the house. None of my family is home, I don't know or really care where they are, I just want to be alone. I didn't mean that Katniss meant nothing to me because to be honest she was the only woman I ever loved or would love but I'm not ready to be a father. I live in the Seam and I'm a worthless coalminer, let the baker's son take the responsibility for a kid that she didn't even probably want and that I couldn't support even if I wanted._

_I tried to convince myself it was better that way as I sink into a chair in front of the fireplace in the large open room of my family's poor excuse for a home. I hear Katniss scream she hates my guts and even going so far as to call me a waste of sperm before stomping off._

' I deserved that.'_ I think miserably as I stare at the dying embers and try not to let my anger get the best of me. I kept repeating to myself that I didn't need a kid, I was already supporting my mom and siblings, I didn't need a baby or a woman to mess that up anytime soon…_

I'm lost in the terrible memory so it takes me a moment to realize that something's off in my room. I cautiously open my eyes so see the symbol of the rebellion staring back at me from my ceiling. After a moment of that, it changes to a new image, one that I both loathe and love. It's Katniss sitting on a loveseat, curled up against Peeta with Leta in her arms. I can't fight the smile as I see Leta's smiling and awake, a giggle escaping her lips, something that really warms my heart and makes it leap for joy. I don't like seeing Peeta with one arm draped around Katniss' shoulders and the other is across himself so Leta is clinging onto a finger, but it's worth it to see the two of the most important girls in my life.

" Hello Panem and President Snow. Katniss and I would like to thank you for your wonderful words President. We've been so busy taking care of our precious little angel so we weren't able to thank you sooner. Katniss and I are thankful that you seem to genuinely care for our precious little princess, but we are going to have to decline your offer, she's just too wonderful to ever want to live without and we feel confident that your days as president will soon come to an end by the rebellions hands." Peeta begins, his tone sounding snide and his expression smug.

' _Maybe bread boy's finally grown a spine….´_ I think with a small chuckle. I sit up intending to stare at the ceiling, but as I glance around I notice that the walls and my floor are giant screens as well so I can see it no matter where I look. I stare at one of the walls, on the edge of my bed and wondering exactly what had happened to make Peeta seem so bold.

" As to you fine people of Panem, those of you who are fighting, have a loved one fighting or support our rebellion, I'm sorry. I never wanted to lie to you about losing Peeta and I's baby, but as you can see it was so important that Snow not know about it still happening and think I lost the baby in my escape from the arena. We didn't want Snow to try and use him or her against us and we wanted to make sure the baby was going to be safe." Katniss says, sounding brave and she looks genuinely apologetic. " We are so incredibly proud and honored to share her with you now, a little piece of living, breathing rebellion, our daughter Leta Mellark. She is our mockingjay chick or toast depending on how you wish to look at her. She's Peeta and I's new reason to fight this battle and I swear to you that neither him nor I will neglect our duties because we are parents now. We want her to grow up in a truly free world and so we will do what we can when we can to see to that."

Peeta nods to agreement in this. He had been looking at Katniss with a serious look and now he was facing the cameras again and without missing a beat, he picked up right after Katniss had finished speaking. " To show that we don't want to keep anything from you brave souls fighting this important war, we wish to invite you call to our wedding. Katniss and I have agreed that we are going to be officially married in a ceremony incorporating traditions from every District and the Capitol to show how we are united with you all and it will be broadcasted as well. Snow there is no point in fighting this so don't even try. No matter what this will happen, the whole nation will watch as Katniss and I officially become man and wife, just as you had originally intended so don't block us or try anything funny because you will lose out." Peeta says with a smile, his tone taking on a bit of a challenging edge that came off threatening as well.

" Go dough boy!" I snicker and suddenly the image of Katniss, Peeta and Leta are gone. I admit I'm not amused in the least bit about the idea of Katniss and Peeta getting married but Leta needs a strong father and it's become obvious to me and probably all the thirteen that I won't be returning home alive so I can't blame her or even be angry with him. Peeta seems to have become a man worthy of Katniss and to raise Leta properly, what more could I wish for the owner of my heart and my beautiful daughter?

Snow's face suddenly appears all over the room, catching me by surprise and making me jump. " It seems your little mockingjay is more than just a pointless symbol, she also acts like one. Give her something to repeat and she does it without much hesitation. Don't worry Gale, you won't be alone much longer soon you'll reunited with them because she's coming to get you." He says smugly before he's gone and the room turns back to its blinding whiteness again.

" No!" I shout, instantly catching what he meant. He used me against Katniss and she was playing into his hands. " Leave her and Leta out of this!" I demand as I fly off my bed and start banging on the wall where my food comes from. I shout to be released, kicking the wall as well, curses and threats flying off my tongue like they were common from my lips when they weren't in reality.

I'm allowed to do this for about ten minutes before I feel a sting in the back of my neck. I groan instantly, knowing what it is. My knees go weak and I fall to the ground, my arms flailing, my hits on the wall barely making contact on the hard surface as I fight to keep my eyes open and the fog in my mind from controlling me.

It's a losing battle and I feel my heartbeat slow as I start to sway, no longer able to move my arms in my pointless attempt to escape. My voice is barely a whisper as I plead for Snow to take my life and leave Katniss and Leta alone, tears actually stinging my eyes. I fall forward, but don't feel my hit actually make contact with the wall. The last thing on my mind is how I wish I were with Katniss again, the girl I loved and hurt so much, wanting her to be safe again.

I was going to lose her because she was sure to do everything Snow demanded because she never stopped to think of herself, only how to make the pain go away for those around her. The world goes dark and I can't help but wish it would stay that way so I wouldn't have to wait for news of her inevitable death…

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><p><strong><em>Not sure yet who the next chapter will be from, but I'm thinking I might toss in a Finnick because I love him as much as Peeta... Hope this chapter wasn't too long, this is actually the condensed version surprisingly, I got a bit caught up with this due to the song. I apologize for the song for this chapter on the playlist, I don't normally listen to Miley Cryrus, but her song ' Stay' just fit Gale so incredibly well! If need be, just turn the sound off and enjoy the lyrics because they're actually pretty good...<em>**


	14. Don't

_**Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. I've been dabbling in a FinnickxAnnie idea and this was just my way of getting it out of my system… I promise, the next one will be from Peeta's point of view though, I miss writing from the hunk of bread's point of view!**_

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><p><em><strong>Finnick<strong>_

Annie is sleeping peacefully on my chest, her arms wrapped protectively around her stomach. She looks like an angel while sleeping and she had the most beautiful glow to her skin, she literally radiates light in any room she enters. I never thought she could get more beautiful, but she proved me wrong every day. She laughed at me a lot because I was always touch her stomach and when I got the chance, talking to it. She wasn't very far along, only ten weeks, but she was already starting to show a little bit, something that hadn't escaped my notice and made me throw a bit of my own little party.

Sure she was still dealing with symptoms of the pregnancy that made her miserable. She had a lot more headaches, was still almost always sick to her stomach, dizzy a lot, exhausted all the time and had some lower abdomen pain, all things that were normal according to her doctors and Katniss. I couldn't wait for Annie to have our baby, I didn't care if it was a boy or girl, I just couldn't wait to have a family with Annie! There was going to be living, breathing proof of our love and the Capitol couldn't stop it from happening!

I am still so surprised that I'm going to be a father. I've never really thought much about a family, I wasn't sure any woman outside of the Capitol would love me this much or would be so willing to have my baby. Several women in the Capitol had _begged_ me to get them pregnant, but I had resisted, saying that I wanted to wait for my wife and that I didn't intend to get married until I was eighteen, something that drove several woman crazy. I was glad I had waited, Annie was going to be an incredible mother, I just couldn't wait another thirty weeks to see our wonderful baby…

Sighing I kiss the top of her head and carefully slip out from under her. I can't help the smirk that comes to my face as she rolls over, her arms moving around her head as she rolls on her back, the top half of her body now exposed. I couldn't say I loved most of her mood swings, but there were times like what had just occurred between us a few hours ago when her hormones got the best of her and I loved the changes…

I carefully feel around the room for my discarded clothes, laughing softy every time I encounter a piece of her clothing. Annie didn't have to wear the same clothes as the rest of us in thirteen. Everyone fell in love with her and dresses were always found for her. People treated her like a child even though we were married and having a child of our own, but it didn't bother her any. I liked seeing her in all the beautiful dresses, it actually seemed like she was returning to her old self, the one I came to love the week before she entered the arena.

I kiss her forehead once more before leaving the room to roam around for a bit. I know where there's a room filled with couches and chairs, a large TV sits in the room. I'm not sure of what it's function is and no one really goes there aside from me it seems. I just felt compelled to go there now because I couldn't sleep and with the way Annie slept anymore, I would be back long before she ever knew I'd left.

I take the elevator up to the top level and don't encounter anyone at first. I can hear the soft sound of the TV which is surprising. I'm a bit more cautious as I enter the room and see Katniss curled up on the couch. She's watching a recap of the games surprisingly and even more shockingly it's the first year that she and Peeta had competed. It's just after they found a cave and he's dying.

" I never would have guessed you didn't love him at that point in time." I say in a bit of a bored tone.

Katniss jumps and fumbles with the remote, pausing the TV. She's blushing as she turns around to face me, looking like a child who's been caught stealing from the cookie jar. " I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone else would want to use this room." She rushes to say as she stands up and starts gathers up a letter from the couch and I can tell she's been crying.

I let out a soft groan, if there's one thing I can't stand to see, it's a girl crying. I can't even begin to count the number of times it's gotten me into trouble in the past…

" Oh no you don't have to leave on account of me." I tell her as I cautiously move to sit on the couch and pat the seat next to it.

She looks nervous, but lets out a small sigh before sitting back down. " What has you up? When I snuck past yours and Annie's compartment earlier it sounded like you two were busy." She teases as she wipes at her tears.

I shrug, giving her an unashamed look. " What can I say, my woman can't keep her hands off me… Besides when did Katniss Everdeen start making jokes about others love lives?" I teased as I gave her a playful shrug. Katniss, Peeta and Gale are the closest things to friends I have, Gale and Katniss helped me cling to the last pit of my sanity while Annie had been held by Snow and Peeta was easy to get along with, it was hard to imagine anyone getting angry with him.

" Well that would be about the same time she became a mother and decided to allow her wedding to be broadcasted all around Panem." She replies with a shrug.

" Yeah that is a bit out of character for you… What's up with that?" I ask as I lounge back lazily.

" Well what better way at getting back at Snow for threatening my daughter than to publicize Peeta and I's undying love and give hope to the rebels at the same time? Besides it's exactly what he wanted. He wanted Peeta and I to prove we loved each other and he planned on making out wedding a huge Capitol event so aren't we just doing what he wants?" She asks, raising a curious eyebrow.

I shrug a bit and think about her words. She really was doing exactly what Snow wanted and it seemed a bit too curious for me. " Is that the _only_ reason you're doing this?" I ask seriously as I narrow my eyes at her.

Her hands clutch her letter a little tighter and the color drains a little on her face, but she tries to give me a playful look. " Of course! I can't wait to marry Peeta, well officially. This wedding isn't what we had originally planned, but Plutarch came up with some really great ways for us to incorporate traditions from all over Panem."

I can tell there's some truth to her words so I try to just let my suspicions go but I'm growing curious about the letter in hands and the sudden change from Gale to Peeta. I know she won't come right out and tell though, we might be good friends, but we're not that good. I decide that I have to convince her that if she is really doing Snow's bidding, he'll twist any deal they've made.

I pick up one of her feet and slip off a slipper she's wearing. Her eyes go wide, but I just give her a mischievous smile. " Relax, it's just a foot massage." I tell her with a small laugh before rubbing her foot.

She let out a small sigh and her eyes half shut so I'm positive I'm on the right track to get her to relax. " I haven't had my feet rubbed since my wedding shoot." She tells me with a breathless laugh.

" Well then it's good I'm doing this then, I'm sure your feet were killing you while you were expecting Leta." I point out and add a bit more pressure to her poor, neglected feet.

" Yeah it would have been nice to have my feet rubbed then, but there was never time." She tells me as she closes her eyes and relaxes.

I can't help as my more wicked side comes out, the teasing me that she had claimed she enjoyed was starting to come out again. " Oh I'm sure there was time for another kind of massage like him running in and ou-"

Before I could finish, she pushed her foot forward and almost hit me in the face. I laugh and she gives me her usual scowl of displeasure. " Don't even go there." She warns me and the way she says it, I just can't help it.

" Sorry, I won't go there anymore, but I have one question." I tell her as I finish with her one foot and start on the other. " Does that fake leg in the way when you two make coitus?"

She huffs and rolls her eyes, blushing deeply. She looks at the screen and a soft look comes to her expression, almost like she's remembering something. " No, I don't even notice it to be honest… He takes it off before he even gets in bed." She whispers.

I can't help it really, I'm sure I have a problem, but I don't care. " So does that mean you're always on top?" I snicker.

She blushes even deep and I laugh more. " No, once he forgot to take his leg off before we got in bed… Actually that might have been the night that Leta was conceived." She sighs before turning slowly back to face me.

" Oh I see how it is. When the leg is on a baby gets made." I say with a playful wink.

" Yes about the same as you get in the hospital and you make a baby." She teases right back without missing another beat.

I'm actually shocked and left speechless for a moment. I struggle to recompose myself, but blush a bit myself. It's not so much for me as it is for Annie. I had hoped to make our first night back together special in the cuddling, kissing way but things had gotten too far out of hand and now I was going to be a dad. " Got me there." I mutter with a soft sigh.

We both fall silent after that and I keep massaging her feet, it's calming to me to keep my hands moving and I didn't have my rope.

" What was it like Finnick… What was it like having to do such terrible things in the Capitol?" She asks, turning away from me. I can see tears starting to glisten in her eyes so I stop my massage and take a deep breath.

" I'm not going to lie Katniss, it really was as terrible as I described. I didn't like being the Capitol's whore. I would get called out at all hours, I was barely allowed time at him. I was even taken away with a client the night before the Quell started." I explain as I fight back a shiver. " I guess it's best that you know all this now just in case they take Leta."

She tenses up and her breath catches in her throat. " They wouldn't do that to her." She hisses.

" You don't know that Katniss. I hate to break it to you, but if she looks anything like you then she's going to be forced into the same prostitution ring I was." I tell her before gently placing her feet back on the ground.

" What do you mean ' if she looks anything like me'?" She demands, looking at me with a fierce, angry look.

" The people were infatuated with her. There were already people asking for you should Peeta not make it out of the games." I explain. " Cato and Glimmer may have been pretty faces and Peeta may have been a second request, but they were looking for something short, thin, dark haired with grey eyes."

She shakes her head, unable to believe it. " No, I'm nothing special. Peeta's the better looking of the two of us… I hope Leta doesn't grow up to look like me, I want her to look like her father, whomever he may be…" She trails off, reaching up to wipe a tear away.

" Hey now, don't cry. You're getting married in a couple of hours, you should be happy!" I tell her as I ticked her a bit, getting a giggle out of her.

" You're right…. I should just not think about this right now, not when I'm about to make a stand to Snow in front of all of Panem… _again_." She sighs, standing up and stretching.

" That's the spirit." I tell her as I stand up and give her a hug. " I'd hate for you to leave Peeta standing at the alter or whatever it is that you two are going to be meeting at." I joke, releasing her.

She laughs and mutters something about not knowing any details about the wedding. As she starts to leave though, I flop back down on the couch and clear my throat. " Katniss whatever it is that Snow's promised you, don't believe him. Trust me when he says he'll step down, he means he'll step down on your face and make you pay for it and it's not worth whatever he's promised you in that letter. Just hold out Katniss and don't give into him, it's the best thing you can do for her and yourself." I tell her firmly. I was taking a shot in the dark about the letter she had but the sharp intake of breath behind me makes me guess I'm correct.

I hear her scurry away and shake my head. " She'll learn the hard way like me." I grumble before turning the games back on, kicking back and enjoying the show before me.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Now's probably the best time to let you all know that I don't know anything about anatomy. As a friend pointed out, yes I know it is physically impossible to rip out vocal cords and strangle someone to death with them like I had written in the last chapter. It was something I had heard once and decided to use. Also I have yet to get pregnant myself and haven't spent very much time around babiespregnant woman so if I've gotten any facts wrong in the past chapters, or do in coming ones, blame Google. All my research comes from there.**_


	15. My Apologies

My apologies. My next chapter for this is going to take a bit, but I promise it's going to be amazing! I'm doing research about wedding traditions/ceremonies from all over the world for the different districts and I'm trying my best to filter through everything that I'm finding. If you have any traditions or some kind of special ceremony, I would love to hear them if you're willing to share them! I should have it up in a day or two though, but I'm not sure there'll be a new update in the next few hours like I'd hoped…

Thank you for understanding and any ideas/help is much appreciated!

-SS-


	16. Forever

_**I'm putting this up here so I don't forget... Special thanks to kandib293, thank you so much for the sand suggestion! Also, the vows you're going to read I got from (lovely site, suggest it to anyone getting married because it's surely helped my fiance and I out A LOT!). You'll notice that the part from four is different than in the book, but I wanted to leave the net thing for Finnick and Annie because they're so special/cute!**_

_**So without anymore chatter, I give you the wedding of Peeta and Katniss with the hopes it was worth the wait and the length!**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

I was standing in front of a whole room waiting for Katniss. Plutarch really had gone insane, but luckily I had been there to help him channel that madness into what I hoped would be a dream come true for Katniss. I knew as soon as Katniss saw the room she was going to cry from sheer happiness, something she never really got to do. I know I had had tears of joy come to my own eyes when I entered the room and saw what Plutarch had pulled together in forty-eight hours.

The room looked like being out in the woods. There were paper trees all over the place with little paper mache animals everywhere. There were tables spaced out in the trees and there were dandelions all over the place with paper loaves of burnt bread hanging down from the ceilings. At the front of the room, there were chairs in rows for guests to sit on as they watched Katniss and I exchange our unfamiliar vows, all facing a beautiful archway that had dandelions woven all through it with red, yellow and orange candles creating a circle around the archway for us to be surrounded by flame.

It was fitting. The dandelions that gave her hope, the forest she felt safe and happy in, the flames that made her memorable and the bread that saved her life. Plutarch had said the bread was for my sake, but I had insisted it not be. This whole set up was for her. Everything here was for her and to make her happier on our wedding day. We would be doing our toasting alone tonight, just her, Leta and I camping for the night in the woods surrounding thirteen. Naturally we would have guards watching over us to make sure no one would try and harm us. I had tried to argue against it, but Coin, Paylor and Plutarch had insisted so strongly that my objections were pointless.

Katniss hadn't wanted to know much about the wedding, she was busy trying to take care of Leta now that she'd left the command center and she trusted me. She had managed to find a wedding dress, but I hadn't been allowed to see it. That was one of four surprises there were to take place that I hadn't been allowed in on.

The first surprise had taken place upon waking up. Katniss and I had slept in our compartment together with Leta despite protests. We had woken up to a giggling Leta and were both shocked to find our cramped compartment crowded. I had nearly thrown a fit until one very familiar woman stepped forward and gave me a friendly smile, a little girl at her side, instantly melting away any of my resistance.

Portia had escaped the Capitol with her daughter and the rebellion had found the two of them living in the woods. She and Cinna had had a daughter together, but had kept her a secret from Katniss and I. Their daughter was beautiful and she was sweet, she looked a lot like Cinna and it had brought tears to Katniss' eyes to see a part of him still alive and well.

While Portia and my old design team worked to get me ready for the wedding, I had played a little with Portia's daughter, Belladonna. She had gone running back to be with Katniss and her team though, wanting to see ' the pretty baby' again. I had been thrilled to see Portia again and she had told me how proud she was of me for overcoming my torture and hijacking as well as fighting for Katniss.

The third surprise was exactly how our wedding was going to happen. I had no idea how Plutarch was going to be able to incorporate all the Districts traditions into our wedding, but I didn't question him. I just smiled, agreed to let him put together the actual ceremony and let him decide what I was going to be wearing.

My fourth surprise I wasn't even allowed a hint of. It frustrated me a bit, but like always, I kept my mouth shut and tried not to ruffle more feathers than I already was.

Portia had designed me a wonderful suit for this wedding, something she had worked on with Cinna while he'd been making all of Katniss' gowns. It was a smoky grey color with red edging. The red had yellow and orange stitch work to look like flames. I didn't wear gloves though with this suit like I did with the wedding suit designed for the Capitol. She said Cinna had designed Katniss' wedding dress, but it was one Snow hadn't approved of so it had been kept a secret. She said it matched my outfit, but I didn't care if it matched or not. Katniss could wear a hospital gown or a coalminer's outfit, it wouldn't matter to me because she would still be the most beautiful woman in the world!

I knew it was getting close to time for the ceremony to start because people were starting to take their seats. I moved to stand under the arch and Finnick soon joined me. There was a tradition from the Capitol where I needed a best man, my closest friend or sibling, to stand by my side while Katniss had a maid of honor stand by hers. I didn't have any surviving siblings and Finnick was the closest male friend I still had alive. Katniss was having Prim be her maid of honor which I thought was wonderful. According to Plutarch though, Prim and Finnick would be helping a bit with the ceremony so they wouldn't just be pointlessly standing with us like they do in the Capitol.

" Are you sure you want to do this Peeta?" Finnick asks as we shake hands and wait for Plutarch to get the ceremony started. " It's not too late to back out." He jokes.

I can't help but laugh and shake my head. " Finncik I've never been so sure of something. This is our second wedding anyway, this is just making what we already have official for our daughter and to give more hope to Panem." I explain, smiling and waving at one of the camera's.

He smirks and nods. " Well the best of luck to the three of you." He says as Plutarch walks towards us, looking like a child who's just received a life time supply of his favorite treats.

" Alright gentleman, are you ready?" He asks as he pats my back.

" More than ready." I tell him eagerly as he starts digging in his pockets.

" Excellent. Now at a certain point in the ceremony you're going to have to exchange rings, just like they do in one." He explains, holding out an all too familiar ring to me.

My eyes widen as I carefully take it from him. " Where did you get this from?" I ask breathlessly. When Katniss and I had gone into the Quarter Quell, Katniss had only been allowed one token. Cinna and Haymitch had insisted on her pin so the ring I had given her when I had asked her to marry me had been left in our room. I had thought it had been tossed away and hadn't thought of it since then.

" Haymitch got it before he went to where the mentors are housed. I didn't know you exchanged rings in twelve though, I thought it was just in one that they did it." He admits as he looks to the ring and Finnick admires it too.

" Normally we don't, but this was special. This ring has been passed down through the generations in my family. My father had given it to me before I moved out of the bakery house, he wanted me to give it to Katniss to show her that I was committed to her and I. This was my promise that I would always love her, I gave it to her when I proposed." I tell them breathless, my grin growing even more.

" Good to know that your family can be a part of this too Peeta… I'm sorry, but we have had enough chit chat, it's time for this show to get on the road!" He declares before moving to the back of the circle, positioning me under the arch and Finnick just in front of it.

I'm not the least bit sorry and watch as the last of our guests takes their seats, their chatter stopping. Leta is sitting in Rory's lap in the front row. Rory, Vick, Posy and Hazel had approached me to ask if it was alright if they call themselves Leta's family. I had been touched they'd asked and eagerly agreed. Rory and Prim had been caught holding hands, sneaking off together and I had even walked in on him kissing her so I knew it was just a matter of time before they went public. Katniss refused to even think about Prim and Rory together, but I thought it was wonderful and figured that soon Rory would be part of the family anyway.

A man from twelve who played the violin started playing a slow song. I took a deep breath to try and calm my nerves, I'm more nervous about Katniss backing out than I am for myself. I knew she was my destiny, she was the whole world to me and I had never been so sure about anything in my life. Finnick pats my back and I turn back to see him smiling as well. He nodded his head and I knew for certain it was the right thing to do.

I turn back just in time to see Katniss, Prim and Haymitch enter the room. My breath catches in my throat and everything freezes around me. Katniss' eyes are wide as she clutches a bouquet of rue's and dandelions, tears coming to her eyes as she takes in the room. When her eyes meet mine, she smiles widely and takes a deep breath. I don't even notice as Prim makes her way forward and joins Finnick, Plutarch and I under the arch, looking beautiful in a yellow dress.

Katniss looks absolutely stunning and even at that, it doesn't do her justice. Her hair is left down and wavy like I love it, her makeup is light and almost unnoticeable. Her gown is the same smoky color as my suit, her veil a red shimmering fabric that flows down her back and trails a bit behind her. Her skin is literally glowing again and there's a single ruby hanging from her neck. The gown is simple, a silky looking fabric with thin straps on her shoulders and the way it sits on her, it doesn't even show any of her cleavage. She looks simple, elegant. It wasn't fancy and exotic like the gowns Snow had selected for her to be photographed in, this one was lovelier and very much Katniss.

Haymitch is at her side and nudges her forward, making her blush some. She keeps her eyes on me as she makes her way forward, tears falling from her eyes and I know they're of joy. I accomplished what I set out to do, I was giving Katniss Everdeen the wedding she deserved.

When Hatmitch and Katniss stop in front of the arch, Plutarch clears his throat. " We're gathered here today to unite the Mellark family and the Everdeen family in a bond that will last for all eternity. Who gives this young woman to be married to this man?" He asks even though he already knows the answer.

Haymitch actually looks proud as he holds out Katniss' hand. " I, Haymitch Abernanthy, give Katniss Everdeen to marry Peeta Mellark in the place of her father." He says in a clear voice, taking one of my hands and joining it with Katniss'.

Katniss blushes lightly again and kisses Haymitch's cheek before he steps back and sits beside Mrs. Everdeen. Katniss moves up another step to stand beside me and we turn to face Plutarch. I squeeze her hand, fighting the urge to kiss her and tell her how perfect she looks.

" Marriage is a sacred bond. It is the combining of not only two families, but two lives. Two lives that once wondered this earth alone but now wish to become one. It is not an easy union, it is not always fun. There will be trials and tribulations, struggles, sickness and foul words exchanged, but you cannot let this discourage you. Much as you have fought to survive this harsh world, you must fight to keep your love alive." Plutarch tells us. " Marriage is not a struggle for control. It is not to be taken for granted. This will bind you two for all of your days and beyond. Katniss Everdeen, do you still wish to proceed and vow your life to this man?"

I hold my breath and look down at her as she smiles up at me. " I do." She says clearly without hesitation, making my heart leap for joy.

" Peeta Mellark, do you still wish to proceed and vow your life to this woman?" Plutarch asks me and I don't take my eyes off of Katniss.

" I do." I tell her as an even happier smile spreads across her face and relief as well.

We both turn back to face Plutarch as he nods. " Very well, let us continue on this path and unite these lovers." He announces. " Peeta I would like you to bestow your ring, a symbol of eternity, upon Katniss' wedding finger and repeat after me." He instructs.

I thank my lucky star that I know what the wedding finger as I take the ring out. Katniss and I turn back to face each other and I take her left hand, preparing to slide the ring on her finger. I guessed that the opening speech was from the Capitol, it sounded like one of their speeches and then Plutarch had already said this ring exchange was from District one.

Plutarch tells me what to say and I quickly remember it all. " I freely join my life with yours. Wherever you go, I will go. Whatever you face, I will face. Whatever demons you fight, I will fight. For good or ill, in happiness or sadness, come riches or poverty, I take you as my wife and will give myself to no other for all the days of my life." I vow as I slip the ring on her finger. " I give you this ring, wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my life partner."

More tears slip down her face and I feel tears starting to sting at my own eyes. " Katniss, your ring please and repeat after me." Plutarch says and Katniss nods, reaching out and taking a ring from Prim.

The ring is simple and looks like it's been carved out of a stone. District two.

Plutarch speaks and Katniss starts speaking the second he's done. " Where there has been cold, you have brought warmth. Where my life was dark, you have brought light. Peeta Mellark, I pledge before this assembled company to be your wife from this day forward. Let us make of our two lives, one life. Let us always honor and respect each out for forever and a day." She says, keeping her eyes locked on mine and slipping the ring on my finger.

District three.

I can't believe that Katniss just vowed to love me forever and gave me a ring, it's almost too much for me. I feel a tear slip away from my eye and Katniss laughs a bit and reaches up to wipe it away from my eye.

Finnick and Prim step away a moment, but return holding a tray together with three vases on it. There are two smaller vases and one large one. One of the smaller vases holds scarlet colored sand, the other holds tan sand while the third, larger vase is empty. Finnick looks excited about this and nods his head so Plutarch picks up the scarlet sand vase.

" In the slums of District four, where nets can't be spared, there's a tradition. The lovers will unite their lives by combining sand. This is a fitting ceremony for a girl from the Seam." Finnick explains and Plutarch holds the scarlet sand to Katniss and then hands me the tan sand.

" You two are to pour the sand in as you speak your vows after I tell them to you." Plutarch tells us and Katniss and I nod.

Katniss is instructed to pour out a little of her sand in the vase and looks to me when she's told to speak. " You are my once in a lifetime, my miracle." She begins.

I'm motioned to pour a little of my own sand in and speak as well. " May our lives intermingle and our love grow as we become one."

Katniss pours a little more sand in. " You are all I could ever need in my life."

I pour more. " My friend."

" My lover."

" My _everything_."

" I promise to be faithful to you."

" To love you."

" To honor you."

" To live you and cherish you."

" When darkness surrounds us and there seems to be no hope, I will be your beacon."

" Through all the days of my life."

" And mine." She finishes, the whole time we've been speaking, we've been taking turns pouring the sands in, combining them. When she speaks the last line, we're told to pour the last of the sand in our vases together so there's no way to separate the two colors at the top.

Districts four and five.

Finnick and Prim set down the tray and step back. Plutarch tells us that we're on the last part of the actual ceremony. I feel relieved because it feels like we've been standing in front of everyone for forever. He gives us the last of our vows, but this time they're the same. He instructs me to repeat them first after Katniss and I hold up our right hands between us, our fingers intertwined.

" Whatever lies ahead, good or bad, we will face together. Distance may test us for a time, and time may try us. But if we look to each other first, we will always see a friend. Katniss Everdeen, look to me for all the days to come. Today is the day I take my place as your husband." As I've spoken these vows, Finnick has started to wrap our hands together with a piece of grey silk and Prim has sprinkled pine needles on us.

" Whatever lies ahead, good or bad, we will face together. Distance may test us for a time, and time may try us. But if we look to each other first, we will always see a friend. Peeta Mellark, look to me today I take my place as your wife." Katniss repeats as Prim and Finnick finish.

Districts six, seven and eight have been represented in the ceremony as well.

We both stare at each other, tears coming from our eyes as we wait for more. " It is my honor, privilege and extreme joy to present before all of your friends, family and all of Panem, Peeta and Katniss Mellark! Peeta, you may kiss your new bride now." He says gleefully as everyone in the room stands and cheers.

I smile even more and lean down to kiss Katniss with all of me. My left hand reaches up to cup her cheek as we share this magical kiss, wheat seeds rain down on us. I know the seeds are from both thirteen and nine but they make the moment so much more special.

" I love you." I whisper as I pull back from the kiss to gaze at Katniss lovingly.

" I love you too." She tells me honestly. Even though we have just gone through the ceremony, I know she will not officially be mine until tonight when we share a special piece of bread toasted over our campfire.


	17. Hate

_**Gale**_

Katniss and Peeta's wedding is being broadcast in my room nonstop, I can't escape it. I try to hide from it, but I can't. The sound of her vowing her life to Peeta and way she sounded so happy, it felt like someone was stepping on my chest and I couldn't breathe. I yell for them to stop it, I didn't want to hear anymore. I don't want to hear the girl I loved giving her life to another guy. It's been broadcasted in my room for seven meals now, I know it's still not going and it's the same thing over and over again. It never ends!

I can't sleep, I'm physically sick now. I throw my food against the walls and actually plead for them to just end my suffering. I refuse even the water now and I know the guards will be in to strap me down and force feed me against my will soon, naturally they would never allow me a sweet escape from this never ending torture. I just want to die! I don't want this ache in my chest, the hopelessness. Most of all I don't want to see the smirk on his face as he and Katniss do the toast in the woods.

Peeta and Katniss roast a piece of bread and fed it to each other. They are laughing and saying how much better life is without me. Peeta goes so far as to look to the camera and gives a smug look before speaking.

" See this Gale? This is how you really make her happy!" With that he kisses Katniss. She fights him at first but eventually gives in after a while. The two of them have sex on camera! They have sex so Peeta can rub it in my face!

I hear Katniss scream his name at the height of her pleasure and it starts over again. Peeta talks to Finnick and waves to a camera. They exchange strange vows and pour sand in a vase. A man speaks a few words, giving them the blessing from the District ten. They feed each other red grapes to show their passions like in eleven. A birthday cake Katniss decorated is brought out because Peeta forgot his own birthday in the excitement of their wedding day. The two go off to the woods, toast, make love and repeat.

Seven meals this happens.

Seven meals I have pleaded for death.

Seven meals I'm ignored.

I don't know why Katniss would marry Peeta! He is so cruel, he looks at her like she is a piece of meat. Like she is prey and he wants to pounce on her, make her pay for a crime she surely never committed! There is no love in his eyes. He ignores Leta, doesn't dare touch her and snaps at Mrs. Everdeen when she suggests he take the lovely little girl. He even makes Prim take her from them because he ' doesn't want the brat ruining his night with her constant cries for attention and annoying laughter'.

What was I thinking trusting such a vile creature with my daughter?

Every time I see his face, it makes me sicker. To see the love and naïve look on her face makes me want to slap Katniss. My daughter deserves better. I'm willing to do anything to get her away from him. I can't just sit back and let her be raised by a neglectful monster and an idiot who has done nothing but fall for his ridiculous lies.

I throw my blankets off my head and jump to my feet breathing heavily. Katniss screams for Peeta to stop and I watch as he starts to strip her. She doesn't want him at first, but he bends down whispers something in her ear and she tenses for a second before just relaxing and letting him have his way. As soon as he's done, he crawls into his tent and Katniss sits outside the tent now. I don't know if it's a new image captured or if I didn't pay enough attention before.

I bang on the wall once more and know I only have a few short moments before I'm forced into darkness again. " I'll tell you what you want! I will help you Snow, all I want is my daughter and Katniss away from _him_! Whatever you want or need, I'll do it, just let me be the one to kill him!" I shout, knowing he can hear me.

I feel the pain in the back of my neck and sink to my knees. I don't fight the darkness this time, I welcome the numb. I don't regret my decision, I know Snow won't deny me the chance because I know things he wants to know, things only I can tell him. _' I'm going to kill Peeta Mellark.'_ I think as I feel the rest of my body slump against the ground and I'm gone, a smile on my face.

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><p><em><strong>I know this is super short, but I have a reason for it, but I'm sorry. This is setting things up for the next chapter which'll be from Gale's point again I'm sure and will be longer. I know this is a drastic change from the last super fluffy chapter, but it needed to be done. Yes some of the wedding details from the last chapter have been changed for this one, but it too was done on purpose and will be explain so please don't get angry! Next chapter should be up in the next day or two so please stay tuned!<strong>_


	18. Destination Darkness

_**Gale**_

When the darkness slowly starts to fade, I head a groaning sound. Right away the groaner gets on my nerves. I want to tell him or her to shut up because I'm trying to enjoy the numbness. When I open my mouth to tell him or her to shut up, but quickly realize it's me groaning.

" Ahh, it's good that you're coming around, it's about time." I hear a familiar voice sigh and that's when I'm hit with the smell of roses and blood.

I could see what Katniss complained about, it both made me feel like vomiting because of the foulness and inhale more because of the sweetness. " Where am I?" I ask groggily and try to lift my hand to grab my head, but can't. I slowly open my eyes to find ropes are binding me to the chair. _´He doesn't trust me.'_ I think miserably before looking to see Snow.

He looks unfazed as he sits, sipping something out of a delicate teacup. " You're in my mansion. You've been held down in the tunnels under the city." He explains, almost sounding bored.

" Oh." I all I can muster to say as he peers at me over his cup. My head is throbbing and my mouth is dry. I ache all over so I'm guessing they've taken me to Hell and back, not bothering to be careful as they moved me from my cell to the dining hall where I'm now held captive.

" There once was a man named Shakespeare, he lived a _very_ long time ago in another country. He once wrote a play about a man named Macbeth. His wife and he plot the deaths of a king so that he can take the throne, but he's hesitant at first. His wife makes a good argument and gives into him. In the middle of her plead for him to attempt this murder she tells him ' your hand, your tongue, look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.' You must be wondering why I'm telling you this…" He murmurs as he sets his cup down and dabs daintily at his lips.

I'm not sure if I'm actually supposed to speak yet or not, but I am truly confused by this and figure I don't have a lot left to risk, I'm already at his mercy. " Yes." I admit, not sounding the least bit afraid of him.

" The rebellion has their mockingjay Mr. Hawthorne, I need something better than a silly bird. I need a snake or better yet a shark. Do you know what a shark is?" He asks mockingly, confusing me more. I shake my head, in twelve we don't learn much about animals in school. " It's a giant, carnivorous fish that lives in salt water and preys on almost everything else in the ocean. It's a fearless animal, not many creatures exist that it fears or has the courage to challenge it. Mr. Hawthorne, I want you to be my shark and my serpent of sorts. I need someone like you who has the rage of a shark but the stealth of a snake."

My brow furrows as I take in what he's saying. " Are you saying you want me to be more forceful than Katniss?" I challenge. I'm guessing the drugs they've given me have slowed down my thinking because I'm not getting what he's saying.

" In a way yes. Sharks are cunning creatures, strong and forceful while snakres are stealthy, normally you don't even know when they're going to attack until it's too late. We're going to play up an angle that thirteen is sure to fall for. We're going to make them believe you've been hijacked, let them think we've pulled the same trick twice. We'll make a video of you showing off you're angry, hijacked personality, make them believe that you've been forced into turning against the rebellion and now support the Capitol's cause. We'll let your position slip to their spies and let them come to rescue you. Once you're back in thirteen, you can do what you want to Peeta and do whatever it takes to win Katniss back." He tells me as he stands up. " What do you say Gale, help me?"

I think about this for a moment before nodding. " Yes. I want to feel Peeta's life slipping away with my hands wound tightly around his neck like he tried doing to Katniss." I snarl.

He nods before waving a male Avox over to untie my arms, obviously not seeing me as a threat anymore. I don't even glance at the Avox, knowing he won't approve of what I'm doing. I know it's despicable what I'm doing, especially after all I'd done for the rebellion, but it can't be helped anymore. I wasn't going to just stand by and let Peeta mistreat Katniss.

" Katniss will be thrilled I'm sure to have you back." Snow sighs as he waves over another Avox and warm soup is set in front of me, I recognize it as Katniss' favorite dish, lamb stew with dried plumbs. " It's just a shame her wedding to Peeta will be ending so soon, but I'm sure she'll get over it quickly."

This catches me off guard, she seems genuinely happy in the videos they've released from thirteen and sounded so sincere in her vows, I've already expected to have to work to earn her forgiveness, make her see the truth, but he seems sure it'll take no time at all. " Wh-what do you mean?" I ask as I hesitantly take a bite of the stew. It's actually amazing and I can't help but start hogging it down. All the times I've refused food has made me feel like I'm starving back in the Seam.

" Well Katniss only married him to get your whereabouts. I guess Peeta must've found out and his taking his anger and frustration out on her… Funny thing about the Districts, you don't allow divorces like we do here in the Capitol. It really does save time and makes everything easier…" With that Snow leaves me alone, sitting there stunned.

Katniss… was forced into the marriage for me? Peeta was being abusive because he knew Katniss only married him to rescue me? " Oh Katniss… What have you gotten yourself into this time?" I whisper before pushing the food away, no longer hungry.

Katniss could trick everyone else into thinking she was sweet and perfect but I knew deep down that she wasn't. I was the only one who knew the real her and I was the only one who could tame that side of her. I was meant for her and obviously she still felt strongly for me or else she never would have gone through with the marriage. I don't know what Snow's got hidden up his sleeve, but to be perfectly honest, I'm beyond caring anymore.

I let a Peacekeeper escort me back to my cell where I'm greeted by more footage of Katniss. There are bruises on her cheeks. Her lips are swollen and split, her eyes almost swollen shut. She's pleading for Peeta to stop and Leta is screaming in the background. He shouts for her to shut up and calls her ungrateful before storming away from their compartment. Katniss sinks down to her knees and weep. I drop to my knees as well and reach out a hand to press on the hands covering her face. " Soon Katniss your nightmare will end. I've entered the darkness without fear and soon I will bring us both to the light again." I whisper, wishing she could hear me.

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><p><strong><em>Sorry this chapter is shortish. The next one will be longer, promise! It probably won't be posted until Sunday due to Saint Patrick's Day which is kinda big to my family... It'll be from Peeta or Katniss' points of view though, but everything from this chapter and the last one have been done to set up for it so I hope it won't disappoint...<em>**

**_For those of you following the playlist, sorry I realize I messed up on the note that went with the last song and I'll fix that as soon as I add the two songs that inspired this chapter. Gale won't be having any adorable, lovey, cutesy songs from this point on but you can expect more Muse and The Rasmus, but definitely no more Miley Cyrus for him because the irony was pointed out to me today and it's just too much..._**

**_Thanks for sticking with me this long though all you fabulous readers! Can't believe I'm already well over 3,000 readers for this month alone! Please keep reading and reviewing, it makes me super happy!_**


	19. Coming

_******Four things before you continue on:**_

_**1) Sorry, I didn't re-read this yet and fix my mistakes. I'm too exhausted to go through and re-read it right now, but I will when I'm more alert and will fix all the issues so please be kind about that since I don't have a beta...**_

_**2) Sorry this took so long to post, I rewrote this so many times from so many PoV's that it's not even funny... Hope you like it though since it's setting up more major stuff that's gonna go down soon...**_

_**3) OH MY GOD 48 HOURS UNTIL HUNGER GAMES! I'm super excited! I won't be updating Thursday night probably since I'm going to the IMAX experience midnight showing out of town (curse you Washington State for having the nearest IMAX theater an hour from my house!) so I'll see about posting double chapters Friday or Thursday morning...**_

_**4) Feeling the need to say this again. I am super sad to say that I'm still not Suzanne Collins. However much I envision it and I wish, it just isn't happening. Perhaps though when my original plot book gets published I'll be the next Suzanne Collins, but I will never own Hunger Games or the adorable Finnick Odair and Peeta Mellark...**_

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><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

I'm not even able to begin to express my joy. I'm finally married to a beautiful woman that I've loved for the last thirteen years, I have a beautiful daughter, President Snow no longer can manipulate Katniss and I and there's no Gale Hawthorne around. As mean as the last thought is, it's actually an incredible one to me. I don't mean to be rude, a reason I keep the last one a secret when Katniss asks why I'm so happy, but things are less complicated without him.

Yes we made a bit of truce before he left, but I can't help but think of our history. We never interacted much before the games. I saw him around school, saw him slip away with Katniss to the woods, he traded with her a lot too and heard the girls whisper about him and that was about it. After the games, he become very hostile towards me. He was the same age as my younger older brother Liam and the two had been friendly in school, they even drank together once they were able to leave school but that changed as well and Gale started to take his wrath out on him. Things had just gotten worse and I understood why after his whipping, he really did love Katniss and I had stolen her from him without meaning to, it wasn't just some fleeting infatuation. I couldn't deny either that I couldn't stand Gale either because of his feelings for Katniss, but I at least tried to be civil and let Katniss decide on her own.

Katniss had been miserable when Gale had first left, but now that had all changed. She seemed more optimistic, only going to command when she was summoned. She had been called into a meeting actually not five minutes before so I was lounging on a couch in a television room not far from command with Leta. I had been asked not to attend the meeting and I'm guessing it was about a touchy subject revolving around Katniss going into action, something I had been trying to talk her out of since I first learned she wanting to go fight in the Capitol. I guess it worked for me though having the time to just lay on a couch and let my little girl rest, watch some recaps of the Hunger Games and listen to news about the uprisings in other Districts.

It amazes me every day how big she's getting. She looks more and more like Katniss everyday but her eyes are the exception to this however. While her features I'm told by Mrs. Mellark resemble Katniss as an infant exactly, her eyes came from me. Katniss' mom and Prim have blue eyes, but not like Leta or I's. Leta's went from a blue-grey to a bright cerulean blue in such a short amount of time. I can't help but think about my family when I look into her eyes, it's a trait she shares with me that I shared with my brothers and father. A Mellark trait.

" Oh Leta, you would have loved your grandma and grandpa Mellark as well as your uncles. Your grandfather was a very kind man, one of the best I ever knew, a man I've tried so hard to be my whole life and look to still for ways to be a better father to you. Your grandmother Mellark, she might come off as a bit brutish, but she too was a wonderful woman. She pushed my brothers and I away, but it made things easier when your daddy got called away, one less person to try and worry about. They both loved you very much even though they never got the chance to meet you." I whisper as I kiss the top of Leta's head since she was fast asleep on my chest.

" Your uncles would have corrupted you by now for sure, I don't doubt that in the least. They were already planning ways to turn you against your poor daddy and your mommy was all too happy to help them." I tell her with a soft laugh, thinking back to a day so long ago when Liam, Rye, Rye's pregnant wife, Katniss and I were all baking together. It had been a great day, Rye's wife and Katniss had been talking about things they needed for the baby, discussing names while Rye, Liam and I bounced ideas back and forth on how we were going to corrupt the new Mellark offspring, Liam also already claiming he was going to be the favorite uncle.

That's all we needed, another wild Mellark running wild around District twelve. It was already a feared thing when your brother announced his wife being pregnant and a nightmare waiting to happen when you announced that little one sleeping on your chest." I hear a voice sigh from behind me, heavy with familiar sarcasm.

" I don't know what you mean Haymitch. Us Mellark boys were very well mannered and respected everyone we came across and we were calm too." I challenge as I turn back to look at him with a grin. Truth be told, my brothers and I weren't always calm, once out of sight of our parents, especially our mother, we were just like any other young boys. We played pranks, fought and made messes, we didn't always let it go too far though, but on occasion we had to be escorted home by Peacekeepers.

" Believe what you want bread boy but I saw those times your father would have to bribe a peacekeeper at your back door so your mother wouldn't learn the truth." He snickered as he stepped forward from standing in the doorway. " How's toast doing today with all the excitement?" He asked as he ran a hand lightly along the back of her head.

I can't help but roll my eyes at Leta's nickname. I had accepted mockingjay chic for her nickname, but toast was a bit too far for me. It was a nickname that my brother Liam had come up with when I had announced that Katniss was pregnant. His words echoed in my ear every time I heard the nickname used, even his laughter still sounded loud and clear in my memory.

" _Well it makes sense to call him or her toast! You, baker boy, put your breadstick in the girl on fire's oven hoping to just warm it up a bit and instead you ended up making toast!" Liam choked out between howls of laughter._

Haymitch had been there for that particular incident and hadn't let it go.

" Leta is doing fine today but she's been waiting impatiently for her time with her grandpa Haymitch." I tell him as I run a hand through my hair. Every day at one in the afternoon, Haymitch would steal Leta to watch a Capitol soap opera with him. It was called ' Falling Stars', the plot revolving around a male victor from District ten who was in love with a female victor from four who was in love with a male victor from one who had sworn off love since he'd had his heart broken by a Capitol girl on his Victory Tour. It was a ridiculous show and when I asked him how he could stand it, he just muttered that alcohol and boredom helped.

" Good to know that Leta enjoys this time as much as I do. Damn Coin almost didn't let me leave. She knows that between one and two in the afternoon I'm not available for the blasted meetings. If she thinks she can take Falling Stars _and _alcohol, she will have a fight on her hands." He grumbled.

I laugh a bit and shook my head. He really was more tolerable without the alcohol and I've heard him mutter a few times that he's never going to drink that much again because of Leta. It had been Katniss' idea to start calling him Grandpa Haymish in the beginning as a joke, but he'd jumped on it. He went with Haymitch though instead of Haymish despite Katniss and Liam's protests during our family dinners that Haymitch always showed up to.

" Well even Coin wouldn't be that dumb. She wouldn't keep grandpa Haymitch from his baby Leta bonding, right?" I snicker as I try to rub the tiredness from my eyes.

He nods and looks down to Leta. " Damn straight, someone's gotta make sure this little girl has some normalcy." He teases.

I roll my eyes and motion to the TV. " That can be argued. No self-respecting man would be caught dead watching these kind of shows to begin with let alone while there's a rebellion going on." I point out.

This silences him and he just glares at me before turning back to the TV. " Point taken… You're lucky I'm even letting you stay with us. Leta's the closest to closest to a grandchild I'm ever going to get and let's face it, in five years when she starts school some poor sap is going to fall for her and then she's going to be gone." He sighs without looking at me.

I can't help but scowl at this comment. " No daughter of mine is going to find her soul mate at five years old. She's not even going to _look_ at a boy until she's fifty!" I snap leaning down to rest my elbows on my knees and rub my hands together.

Haymitch scoffed and I could imagine him roll his eyes. " History repeats itself. The only thing that doesn't happen twice is lightning striking the same place twice."

" Well love is as powerful as lightning and no boy is ever going to be good enough for her." I growl.

" Whatever now shut up boy and let Leta and I watch our show. Today Russet, the victor from ten is going to tell Pearl that he loves her and is willing to let Gintaras have her!" He hisses, trying to silence me with an anxious wave of his hand.

I bite my tongue to keep from making a snide remark. I lean back and try hard to watch the show in silence. Luckily I'm spared by breaking news. The Capitol seal appears and the anthem plays. I sit up and I hear Haymith's breath catch. He's probably already contemplating bombing the Capitol for interrupting his show and that thought draws a tiny smile to my lips and I actually thank whatever's happened for saving me from the death of my brain cells.

The seal disappears and is replaced by Ceasar Flickerman. I'm thankful that Leta's asleep because I'm sure the sight of him would scare her, I know myself I got nightmares from him when I'd been smaller. He isn't much less scary still today in my eyes but I'm pretty good at hiding it. What's scariest about hi however is his guest.

Gale sits beside him looking tense and angry. There's no marks on him and he looks well fed, all things the prep teams could take care of, but he doesn't look uneasy, afraid or alarmed, just _vicious_. I can't help but think about how sorry I am for the one who's put that haunted look in his eyes…

" We're sorry to interrupt your shows, but I have with me only for a limited amount of time a very special guest. Everyone welcome Gale Hawthorne, Katniss Everdeen's cousin!" Cesar announces and the audience claps.

Gale just nods and keeps his eyes glued to the camera in front of him. " Thank you." He mutters. They go back and forth, Caesar trying to get Gale to loosen up but he's not having any of it.

Finally after a few minutes, Caesar is starting to look annoyed and gives up. " Alright Gale, President Snow says you have some special messages for your cousin, her daughter and new husband." He grumbles, his smile threatening to falter.

" Yes, I do." Gale confirms, looking from Caesar to the camera once more. " Katniss _Everdeen_ you are a fool. This rebellion can't continue, I've seen that now. Listen to what you're being told to do and stop this pointless battle. You'll find that Coin, your beloved leader isn't as squeaky clean as you think she is." He says bitterly. " Wake up already! Snap out of this delusion! Snow is willing to work with you now listen! Leave your husband, take Leta and come to the Capitol." He demands.

I clench my fists so tight that my nails are digging into my palms. I don't know what's happened to Gale, but I have a feeling that Snow's taking a new angle at trying to break Katniss.

" Also I'm no longer going to pretend to be your cousin Katniss. I know I'm the father of Leta, I may be your best friend but I won't hesitate to do whatever it takes to take my daughter back, especially if it means taking my daughter away from an abusive man like Peeta Mellark!" He snaps. If it were possible, he's getting madder and madder by the second and now I'm getting mad. I only hope to God that Katniss isn't able to watch it because of being in her meeting.

" That brings me to you Peeta Mellark. I know you have been forcing yourself on Katniss, you've been neglecting my daughter and you've been harming Katniss. I won't stand for this Mellark! You might feel like a man when you push her around and you feel better about being a pathetic waste of space and sperm, but I'm not going to let it continue! The first chance I get, I am going to kill you Mellark! That is a promise. Everything you have done to Katniss, I will do to you. If you lay another hand on her, say another harsh word or ignore my daughter one more time, I will make you regret the day your mother brought you into this world! I'm coming for you Mellark! You hear me? I'M COMING FOR YOU!" He shouts, getting up from his seat and getting closer to the screen.

Haymitch looks to me and I'm dumbstruck. My jaw is open, I'm sure my eyes are huge and all the color has drained from my face. I'm on my feet and I'm trembling. I don't know what he's been shown or who's been talking to him, but I silently make my own vow that I will kill the sick, miserable creaton.

" Boy calm down before you make yourself have an attack. You haven't had one since Leta was born, but you can't afford to have one now." Hatmich hisses.

I know he's right, but I can't stop myself. " He just accused me of abusing my wife, neglecting my daughter and claims to be Leta's father, how can I not get angry Haymitch!" I shout, snapping around to look at him as his stupid soap opera comes back on the TV.

" You're not going to help your case any by getting angry. Anyone who might believe him currently isn't in thirteen and anyone here who would believe him obviously hasn't got you gazing at Katniss before." He tells me absently as he attention turns back to the TV.

I can't believe him and I'm about to speak my mind once more when Katniss staggers into the room, clutching a letter to her chest. She looks white and there are tears streaming down her face. I rush to her and take her into my arms.

" I'm not going to let him touch you, kill me or take Leta Katniss. You're my wife, she's my daughter and I love you. Never will he come near you." I whispered in her ear as I kissed the side of her head.

" N-no Peeta, it's worse." She sobs, trembling.

I pull back and place my hands on either side of her face, pulling her face up to look at me. " What's wrong?" I demand, forgetting all about Haymitch and Leta being in the room.

" Sn-Snow gave me th-three o-options." She stammers. She can't speak anymore and buries her head in my shoulder.

I take the letter from her and see only a few words written in elegant handwriting.

_Katniss Mellark,_

_Your choice: your life, your daughter's life or your husband's life. One way or another I am going to claim one of your lives so decide quickly._

_Cornelius Snow_

" Oh Katniss…" I groan and pull her closer to me, letting the letter fall to the ground, burying my face in her hair. _' I was wrong, he still can manipulate and control us…'_ I think miserably as tears come to my eyes.


	20. Stay

_**Peeta**_

Katniss and I had been rushed back to Command as soon as they realized she'd left the room to find Leta and I. Thirteen was in a panic because Gale had been trusted with some vital, secret information about future plans of the military and weapon construction. If Gale really was working for the Capitol then thirteen was in some serious trouble.

In the command room, everyone was arguing on what course of actions should be taken as Coin and Katniss remained the only silent ones. I even was on my feet yelling with the other pompous soldiers who thought they knew what was best. I had recognized a glossy look to Gale's eyes and the way he seemed on edge, I knew those traits well and recognized them now that the video was playing in a silent loop on every screen in the room. Gale had been hijacked as well, I was certain of it and was actually arguing for his rescue. Doctor's had been brought in to examine his image as well and they had agreed with me that he appeared to at least be under the influence of some heavy drug.

Eventually Coin had gotten sick of the yelling and silenced us all. She ordered Haymitch, Katniss, Leta, Johanna, Finnick, Annie and I be taken to a safer part of the District, away from everyone else. It was another underground bunker about three miles from the main part of thirteen, a place they deemed safe in case of an attack. Coin and Boggs were the only ones who knew where it was and we were ushered out of the main part quickly. When Katniss' mom and Prim were done for the day in at the hospital they were going to join us but Katniss was too anxious for them to get to us that she couldn't sit still.

She paced back and forth across the round sitting room. The new place we had been brought was a circular structure that was as far down underground as the emergency bunkers of the main building. It had ten rooms in it there were actually larger than the ones at the main building which worked for Katniss and I since we had so much crammed in our room for Leta. I still didn't like our room though because I felt like I couldn't breathe at night, I always preferred sleeping with the windows opened and with being so far underground there were no windows.

Haymich was happy though, the sitting room had a TV so he wouldn't miss out on his stupid soaps. Haymitch had already argued with her about the show due to the fact that they were showing it again because it had interrupted and her pacing was distracting him it. Annie and Finnick were in their own room because Annie had broken down again and Finnick was terrified about her and the stress her situation might be putting on their baby. Johanna sat playing with Leta next to me as I watched Katniss pace behind the couch.

" Love will you try and calm down?" I sigh for what feels like the hundredth time.

" No." She snaps back, but stops her pacing in front of me.

" You need to relax, you're stressing everyone else out more than we need to be. Coin's spies are being contacted to see what was done to Gale so he can be helped. Who knows, maybe like me it'll just take a shock to snap him out of it. He'll be back in thirteen in a couple of days since they're certina of where he's being held so there's nothing left to really worry about." I tell her as I take her hand.

" Maybe…" She trails off and starts pacing again. She looks exhausted and I can't help but feel terrible because I know today's events will lead to more nightmares for her.

" Seriously Katniss, you're not doing anyone any favors by beating yourself up about this. Gale was drugged by the Capitol and he's going to be rescued. It's really as simple as that." Johanna tells her, sounding a bit annoyed.

I can't believe that I'm going to be agreeing with Johanna Mason, someone I never really thought would understand where I was coming from in this situation. " Trust her, trust _us_." I tell her and grab her arm as she paces back past me.

She locks eyes with me and I can see she's conflicted. I hate it when she gives me that look, it means she's keeping secrets from me again and not the good kind. I want to ask her what's really going on but know she'll never tell me outside of the safety of our bed, that's where she actually allows herself to open up.

" Hey I know what will distract you!" Finnick's voice pops up as he passes by us and grabs a water bottle from the little fridge in the room. Johanna, Katniss and I turn to face him with skeptical looks. He just shrugs and then starts back to his bedroom and it's only then that I notice he's in his boxers only and looks like he's been running leaving little to no doubt in my mind of what he'd been doing with Annie to help her through her ' stress' and ' breakdown'.

" Katniss you got the OK from the doctors this morning, take Peeta into your room and relieve stress the old fashion, _physical_ way." He teases, giving us a wink.

Johanna rolls her eyes and groans some. " And what are you doing exactly Finnick to handle yours and Annie's stress?" She challenges.

" Living by example." He tells us before slipping into his room and we hear him ask Annie if she needs another foot massage making us all gag.

I can't help but laugh at that and the scandalized look on Katniss' face though when I turn to look at her and it's obvious that she's actually considering Finnick's suggestion. Johanna is even laughing as hard as I am when she looks to Katniss which just makes Katniss scowl again. Despite the fact that she's slept with Gale and I and has a baby, she's just still so pure and innocent. She's not amused by this comment and flops down into a chair across from Haymitch, her normal scowl seeming deeper and angrier because of one harmless joke.

I can't stand it anymore. I get up and go into our room, going to the adjoining bathroom. I fill the tub with cold water and storm back out. Without letting Katniss have a moment to react, I scoop her up in my arms and carry her to the bathroom. She seems to guess what I'm about to do at the last second and tries to get away, but instead ends up slipping from my arms and landing in the tub.

She screams and that's met with roaring laughter from the sitting room. I close the door and lock it, kneeling down to eye level with her. I'm not amused and she looks like Buttercup when Katniss has locked him out in a storm.

" N-not fa-fair Me-Me-Mellark." She gasps as she starts shivering. She tries to get back up but I just push her back down into the water.

" Katniss Mellark you are not getting out of this tub until you relax some more." I tell her sternly and she just gives me another glare. " Our daughter, Leta Pearl Mellark, is safe right now with Johanna. No one, not Snow, not Gale not anyone in this messed up world is going to take her from me, from us. I'm not going to leave you either, Snow's not going to lay another hand on me. You… Well just like in our first games, my threat still stands. If you try and leave me, I will go after you, screaming your name the whole way and then what will happen to Leta?" I tell her in my most serious tone and so I know I've made my point.

She still stays silent and I have the sickening feeling that I've ruined some master plan of hers. I groan and lay my forehead against hers. " Katniss Mellark, what am I going to do with you?" I whisper as I look in her eyes.

" L-let me ou-out of thi-this fr-fre-fr-freezing w-wa-wat-tter." She said with a hopeful smile.

I laugh as I shake my head. " When were you going to tell me you were going to hand yourself over to Snow?" I demand. I'll let her out of the tub once she at least answers that one question for me.

She pulls away and looks down at the water. " How'd you know?" She asks and I groan again, resting my arms on the edge of the tub.

" It's simple Katniss, I know you. You won't let other people take care of this. You don't think it's enough that a rescue team is on the way now to get Gale one way or another and we've been moved away from the main compound. You won't let someone else take care of this because you don't feel right. You'd sooner let this rebellion lose its mockingjay and leave me to raise our daughter without you just because you don't want to allow these willing people to do their jobs." I hiss.

" When you put it like that, you make me sound selfish." She murmurs, finally able to control her speech and her shivering.

I roll my eyes and stand up, grabbing a towel. She stands up too and I wrap it around her and pull her out of the tub, leading her over to sit on the lid of the toilet. I slowly strip her of her soaking wet clothes and let the cold water drain from the tub. When she's naked, I wrap the towel tighter around her. I don't let my eyes linger on her naked form though, she had gotten the seal of approval from the doctor I guess just before everything went to Hell in a handbag for us and we could now be intimate again, but we hadn't done anything since weeks before the Quell so I wouldn't let my mind even think about how sexy she might look.

" You are being selfish Katniss. If you give yourself over to Snow, you're letting him win. You're taking away the only ray of hope for the rebellion. You're taking away my only happiness and worst of all, you're taking Leta's mother away." At this last part, she sucks in a deep breath and I know I've got her. " You wouldn't do that to her would you? Leave her to grow up in this terrible world that might only get worse if this rebellion fails? Be the reason her father slips into a terrible depression or disappears altogether? Leave her with barely one parent? I thought you wanted to save children from the same life you had…"

Tears start to slowly fall down her face. I've won. " I know you're scared, I'm absolutely terrified myself. I don't like that my wife and daughter have been threatened by such a powerful man as Snow and I especially don't like that Gale Hawthorne wants to take you two away from me. I love you and I'm not going to let either men lay a finger on you. You and Leta are my life Katniss. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, raising our brood of children." I tell her seriously, giving her a small smile at the mention of having more children.

She laughs and shakes her head. " Peeta Mellark if you think we're having more children then you are crazier than ever." She tells me.

I shake my head and kiss her nose. " Katniss Mellark if you think we're only going to have one daughter then it's _you_ who are crazier than ever." I tease.

She just rolls her eyes and pulls the towel tighter around her. I turn and get a hot shower running for her as I promised I would. She seems relieved as the steam starts to curl out and from around the shower curtain. I help her to her feet and take the towel, expecting her to just get in the water, but instead she tugs my shirt up and over my head.

" What are you doing?" I challenge as I stare down at her, my brow furrowing. I can't help but wonder if she's lost her mind or if there are still some of those ' baby hormones' in her system that she liked to blame everything on.

She gives me an innocent smile as she runs her fingers over my chest and stomach lightly, making me shiver. " I'm doing what Finnick suggested and something I can rightfully do. I'm going to relax and enjoying my _husband_ for the first time." She whispers. Oh yes, she's cracked under the pressure and has gone mad.

When her fingers reach my pants, I grab her hands and pull them up to my lips, lightly kissing them. " You warm up a bit, I'll be right back." I whisper before kissing her forehead.

She nods and steps under the hot water, causing a small groan to escape my lips. I shake my head and grab my shirt. I throw it on before going to our room, making sure the sheets were fresh. There are a couple of candles around the bed and I light them. I want things to be perfect this time. Every other time we had gotten intimate it had been on a whim of some kind or because she was trying so hard to show me she really did love me.

Once the room is as perfect as I can get it, I step out. I find Johanna, Finnick and Annie circled around Leta who's playing with a little net that Finnick had worked on during the emergency meeting following Gale's message. Haymitch is softly snoring in his chair and I chuckle a bit.

" Prim and Mrs. Everdeen got here about five minutes ago while you were trying to deal with Katniss. They've gone to bed already though, sorry." Finnick tells me as he looks up with a grin.

" Thanks, I'll let Katniss know when she's done in the tub. I had to drop her in cold water to get her to calm down at least a little bit, she's warming up now but I don't think I've got her completely calmed down. Would one of you guys mind watching Leta while I talk things out with Katniss?" I ask them as sincerely as I can, hoping they'll buy the lie or at least just let it go.

Finnick gives me a knowing look which I do my best not to react to. Johanna rolled her eyes though but Annie lit up right away. " Of course! Finnie and I would love to watch Le-Le! This'll be great practice! There's formula in the fridge already and we have a bassinet in the room just in case our baby comes as well as other baby supplies so you won't have to worry!" Annie gushes.

Finnick seems a bit stunned and looks to her. " Are you sure about this love?" He asks almost as if he's hopeful she'll back out.

" What's wrong _Finnie_, already trying to back out of baby duties?" I ask as I give him a challenging look.

He turns and frowns a bit before sighing. He raises his hands in defeat and I can't help but laugh some. " It'll be fine Finnick. Katniss needs Peeta and they don't need a baby distracting them every five minutes as they try to work out their problems. Plus we really need the practice and you'll be thankful when this little one comes along." Annie argues, patting her stomach lightly before getting up and hugging me. " Just let her know that no matter what we still support her and don't regret our choice. Don't let her let Snow win." She whispered in my ear when she started to pull back.

I give her a small smile and nod. " Don't worry Annie, Snow's not going to be getting his hands on Leta, Katniss or I." I promise before wishing everyone a goodnight and going back to our room.

" What took so long?" Katniss asked when I closed the door. She was sitting on our bed in just her towel.

I smirk and kick off my shoes, climbing on the bed with her. " I was making sure that our daughter had a babysitter is all." I tell her as I run my fingers through her cool, wet hair and untangle it. " Have I ever told you how beautiful you are Katniss?"

She blushes lightly before turning her head to press a kiss just under my jaw, making me suck in a breath. " About as many times as you've told me you love me and as many times as I've told you how incredible you are." She murmurs before pressing her lips against mine.

This ends all conversation. I know there's something she's not telling me still as I gaze lovingly into her eyes, but I just let it go for the night. We do our best to stay quiet and just make love over and over again, just like our first night together. I'm definitely relieved to know that Katniss was given a shot just after Leta was born so she won't get pregnant for a while, it definitely makes it easier on me.

Katniss had fallen asleep in the middle of us talking about what we were going to do after the rebellion won hat had quickly come up once it became obvious that neither of us had the energy to continue on anymore for the night. We were going to move to District four with Annie and Finnick so we could raise Leta on the ocean and she was going to have many pearls that I'd personally harvest from a thousand of the slimy shell creatures again to give her. I was going to bake them all sorts of new breads and goods I'd learn recipes for in four and Katniss would teach Leta how to swim and fish plus there'd be whole new landscapes for me to paint for the two of them. Katniss hadn't spoken up much which had just added more suspicion to my earlier worries, but once more I didn't bring it up so I couldn't ruin such a perfect night.

Being so close to her for the first time as my wife had been incredible. It had really hit me that she was all mine and no one could ever take her away from me again. Yes we had gone about things a little backwards, but I didn't care because I had the girl of my dreams. I had tried my hardest to make sure it was the night of her dreams. I did all I could to ensure she enjoyed it and that it was deeper, more tender and passionate than any other night we had spent together. More loving than the nights I just held her to chase away her nightmares. More heated than the nights we turned our frustration towards the Capitol into mad, raw passion. This night was all about us. This was me showing her that she needed to stay with me, with Leta. I wanted to just show her how incredible every night could be if she just ignored Snow and Gale and just let others fight for her instead of having to sacrifice her own happiness. Even if she decided she never wanted to leave my bed, it was alright with me because I never wanted either of us to leave it either.

I brush a stray strand of hair from Katniss' face as she slept on my chest, an arm draped over my stomach and the other on my cheek. I sigh softly, she looks so carefree and like and angel in her sleep. I want to make sure she's safe, that our daughter is safe. I want nothing more than to live a long life with her as my wife. I've loved her my whole life, she's been the only girl I've ever wanted to marry and have a family with. I'm certain that Leta is mine and no matter what I would lay my life down for her. I truly am the happiest man in the world.

" Thank you so much for everything Katniss…" I whisper as I kiss the top of her head even though she can't hear me. I pull her tighter against me and reach up to place my hand over hers to hold her hand to my cheek, drifting into an easy sleep.

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><p><em><strong>I'm so sorry this is so late. Between going to the midnight showing for the movie (still can't get over how amazing it is and going to go see it again this weekend!), participating a 30 Hour Famine (an incredible experience, I honestly would encourage someone who's never done it before to give it a try, it's a major eye opener!) and having to rewrite this chapter since it went bye-bye, I'm just incredibly sorry! I hope the length makes up for it though and the next chapter will be up A LOT fast, promise!<strong>_

_**Please, read and review or add me/this story to your lists please! It makes me feel so good to have a notice in my inbox about this story! Just thank you to all you incredible readers!**_


	21. Need

_**Katniss**_

I groan as I hear a hissing sound. I slowly open my eyes to see a panicked Finnick kneeling down on my side of the bed. I instantly yank the blankets up to my chin and gasp which just makes him smirk a bit. " You're daughter won't stop crying and she's making me go insane." He whispers, desperation dripping from his voice.

I roll my eyes and sigh heavily. " Have you tried feeding her?"

He nods.

" Burping?"

Another nod.

" Changed her diaper?"

More nodding.

I groan again and look over at Peeta who's still fast asleep, oblivious to Finnick and I's little exchange. I turn back to smirk at Finnick who's really looking desperate. " Oh Finnick what are you going to do when your son or daughter is born? Go on and tell Annie I'll be out in a minute, I just need to get dressed." I tell him with a soft giggle.

He nods and looks like a puppy who's just been given a special treat. He hurries out of the room and I carefully slide out of the bed. I grab a night gown that reaches my mid-thigh and toss on a robe. I give Peeta's forehead a quick kiss before leaving the room.

Annie and Finnick are holding a wailing Leta in the sitting room and I hurry over to them. " There, there little girl, mommy's here." I coo as I carefully take her from a relieved Annie. Leta instantly starts to calm down and I let out a soft sigh. " I'm sorry guys, Leta's not used to being without Peeta or I at the same time." I explain.

Annie and Finnick both nod. " It's alright, I understand. Finnie here was going a bit crazy though and doesn't understand that babies take patience." She says with a small yawn.

" Well he needs to learn since you're little one is going to be here soon enough… Thank you though, I really appreciate this and I can take it from here now." I tell them with a small smile.

They nod and without another word, disappear. I look to Leta and smile. " Baby girl, what are we going to do with you?" I ask softly as I grab a blanket from the back of the couch to lay over my chest so I can feed her. I laugh a bit when she starts feeding from me, I know she doesn't like the formula and that's why she gave Annie and Finnick so much trouble.

I close my eyes and just relax back in the couch I'm seated on and let Leta eat her fill. I've actually been very lucky with her, that much I know. She's very well tempered, loves to watch people and doesn't mind when complete strangers hold her. She loves being on camera, when Cressida is trying to direct us, she just giggles and thinks she and the bugs are funny. She's been sleeping through the night for a while now and is just very easy to take care of. I love her very much, it's incredible how much I love her.

I never wanted children, especially in a world so wrong as the one she's been born into. When I had found out I was pregnant with her, it took a lot of work on Peeta's behalf to keep me calm and from completely freaking out. He helped me to see the good of having a baby. That even with so many things stacked against us, a baby could be the ray of hope we needed to make it through.

" That should have been your name, Hope." I whisper with a small laugh when Leta was done feeding and I fix my nightgown. I just sit there and rock side to side as she yawns and watches me. " Nah, on second thought Leta Pearl is a much better name, not so common. You probably have no idea what I'm saying but I know you like it better when daddy sings to you so I'll just tell you stories. That pretty necklace daddy gave you when we went out into the woods, the one with the single pearl on it, that gave mommy lots of hope. See daddy gave it to me when I was fighting to get the three of us to safety. That pearl gave me more hope than anything else, especially when daddy was taken from us."

I take a shaky deep breath and force myself to carry on. " You have no idea how much daddy means to me. I regret using him and making him not feel loved because I have loved him for a very, _very_ long time. I was scared of getting hurt. See sweetling, your grandpa Everdeen died many years ago and your grandma Everdeen left your auntie Prim and I. I never wanted to hurt anyone and never bring a life into this world because this place isn't always a pretty or good place. When I found out about you, I tried to deny your presence. Your daddy though, he worked constantly to show me what an amazing gift you were going to be and I'll tell you something, he was right." I whisper, tears coming to my eyes as she just watches me, yawning again.

" I know you're daddy's going to love you no matter what. I wish I could watch you grow up. See you walk, talk, just grow into the beautiful young woman I know you're going to be. You're going to be a charmer like your daddy, that smile of yours is going to take you far in this world. You're going to accomplish great things and no matter what I know I'm going to be _so_ proud of you! I know you're going to be a very good girl for your daddy and auntie Prim, give your grandpa Haymitch hell, drive your uncle Finnick crazy and I at least ask that you give your grandma Everdeen a chance, she's not all that bad really." I choke out as the tears softly fall from my eyes. I just sit there for a few more moments, just gazing at my precious daughter who I'm so willing to lay my life down for.

" My words did nothing?" Peeta's voice whispers from behind me, making me jump and there's so much betrayal in his voice that I can't even turn around to look at him.

" I'm sorry Peeta but I have to give her a chance. I'm already supposed to go to the Capitol on mockingjay business, might as well save you and our daughter when I can." I tell him as I watch Leta slowly close her eyes and wish I could join her in the sweet escape of sleep.

" No. No you're not going to the Capitol. No you're not facing Snow. No you're not leaving Leta and I." He growls and I can almost picture him balling up his fists and giving me a fierce, determined look that looks so foreign on his sweet face.

" Peeta please don't argue with me about this." I plead. He really has no idea how hard it is for me. " I didn't think I could love anyone this much Peeta. I thought for sure I wouldn't feel this strongly for anyone else but I love you with all my heart and soul and I want nothing more than to protect her. Leta and you are everything to me, I can't just stand back and let these threats continue on this innocent, precious girl when I have the power to stop them!" I hiss.

" Katniss, you can't!" He exclaims and comes around to kneel down in front of me, tears in his eyes.

" Don't look at me like that Peeta, just let me do this." I tell him as he carefully takes Leta from me and places her in the basinet that Annie and Finnick much have brought out into the sitting room when they were attempting to calm Leta down.

" I can look at you however I want, that's the beauty of being your husband and a caring human being." He hisses before grabbing me by the wrists and pulling me to my feet. " When Boggs and Haymitch insisted I keep cuffs in our room for you, I never actually thought I'd have to use them." He grumbles.

I'm confused about this and try to pull away from him, but he's much stronger than I am. He leads me to our room and pins me to the bed. He digs around in the table beside his side of the bed and pulls out handcuffs. I try to fight him more, but it's still useless and he cuffs one of my hands to the bed before tucking the key in the pocket of his jumpsuit.

" Peeta you can't just leave me!" I snap and he just rolls his eyes.

" I'm sorry Katniss but this is about more than just yourself and you need to see that, one way or another…" With that Peeta turns and leaves the room but I could see the pained expression in his eyes. I really had pushed Peeta too far this time…

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><p><em><strong>Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual, I was in a bit of a rush. Next update won't be until after Sunday since I'm going to spend the weekend with a friend and go to the incredible Experience Music Project... Next chapter's from Peeta's view and spoiler, there'll be flashbacks again (:<strong>_


	22. Shocked

_**Peeta**_

My head is buried in my hands as I ignore Katniss' calls. She curses me, accuses me of manipulation and lies, calls me a terrible father and accuses me of not really loving her. She's managed to wake up everyone else and Prim sits beside me, stroking my back and she sighs heavily. No one else is thrilled with my decision to lock Katniss up, but then again none of them are anymore thrilled about what Katniss had planned to do.

" My sister's not the brightest person in the world Peeta and she's going to feel bad for this later." Prim reassures me.

I just nod. I know she will, but it doesn't take away the current hurt of knowing she hates me for the moment and I'm certain she won't fully trust me again for a while. Leta starts fussing and I pull away from Prim to pick up the unhappy little girl. " It's OK sweetie, mommy and daddy are just having a little fight." I whisper as I kiss her forehead.

" Leta's lucky to have a dad like you." Prim pipes up and I blush a bit.

" I'm not so sure. I can relapse at any moment and turn into the monster that almost killed her mommy before she was born." I grumble as Leta happily accepts a pacifier that I hold near her lips.

" You won't do that though. You honestly love her more than anything in this world, that's been obvious ever since you told your family, mom and I about Katniss being pregnant." She snickers.

" Well I suppose if you can see it Prim then it must be true." I tell her with a small smile. I don't really know if Leta's so lucky to have a father like me but I love her and her mother more than anything in the world. I was however willing to do whatever it took to make Prim smile. Prim was so sweet, it was hard not to want to please her and make her giggle or smile, much like I wanted to do with her sister except Prim was the little sister I had always wanted.

She nods enthusiastically before yawning. " I'm going to go check on Katniss." She tells me before getting up and leaving.

I lean down and kiss Leta's forehead and sigh. " Sometimes I wish your mommy was as easy to please as you and your aunt Prim." I sigh. " You know it took your mommy three weeks to accept my proposal?" I tell her as I gaze into my daughter's beautifully eyes, feeling sorry already for the poor boy who tries to get her to admit to her true feelings if she's anything like Katniss.

" _Effie this is hopeless. I'm not a very good dancer, especially with my false leg." I groan as I rub my temples. After three hours of practice, I'm still a terrible dancer._

" _You have to get this right. What you did at the Capitol barely passes for dancing, we need to change that." She tells me and moves to press a button on the car's wall so the music starts again. As soon as Katniss and I had been loaded on the train and were settled in our room, Effie had stolen me away to practice my dancing._

" _This is ridiculous. I can just keep letting Katniss lead, she's better at dancing." I argue._

" _Not good enough Peeta Mellark. You're going to be a father, you've won the Hunger Games, have survived District Twelve and are trying to convince the hardest woman I know to marry you, I think you can handle one dancing lesson." She huffs, taking my hands and guiding me into position._

" _Well when you put it like that, dancing really should be no big deal." I say rolling my eyes. Usually I'm nicer to Effie and I'm the one with the manners, but Katniss has really put me on edge. It's been three weeks since she found out for sure she was indeed pregnant and two months since I had proposed and still she won't accept my proposal. _

" _Effie you're not doing much good… Why don't I give it a try?" A voice coo's from the door. Effie and I both turn to see Katniss standing there, watching us with an amused expression. Her hair is down for once and she's not wearing the belt Cinna made so her dress is clinging to her stomach which is starting to round out beautifully._

" _Well Katniss if you think you can do better, by all means, go ahead and try." Effie says stepping aside and Katniss crosses over to me._

_She's smiling and it melts my heart. Effie changes the song to one she knows Katniss likes which makes Katniss seem happier. She takes one of my hands and places it on her waist, her other intertwining our fingers before placing her free hand on my shoulder. Her eyes lock with mine and I can't help but think once more about how badly I want to marry her, wake up every morning to see those beautiful grey eyes and I hope that our child has her eyes._

" _Take my hand, I'll teach you to dance. I'll spin you around, won't let you fall down. Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet. Give it a try, it'll be alright." She sings along with the female singer as she starts to lead me around the room in a circular motion._

_God I wish she would just tell me yes! She's driving me insane not accepting my proposal. I knew she loved me, it was so obvious. She had been the one to initiate the night we made love and she had told me she loved me several times since then. What was so hard about her accepting it and wanting to truly make it official?_

_She's been singing along with every line of the song so when it gets to the male part, it's my turn to surprise her and treat her to my 'lovely' voice. I take a second to dip her, giving her a playful smile. " Suddenly, I'm feeling brave. Don't know what's got into me. Why I feel this way. Can we dance, real slow? Can I hold you, can I hold you close?" I slowed our dance down a bit and pulled her closer to me which made her blush a bit and giggle._

_I'm actually surprised at how well I'm dancing with her and Effie is silent. It actually feels like it's just the two of us, having fun, sharing a romantic moment. I'm actually sad when the song comes to an end. I lean her back and kiss her lips lightly, Effie starts clapping._

_I lift Katniss up and I kiss just under her ear. " You know you love me Katniss, just please say yes already?" I plead softly before releasing her._

_Katniss says nothing and pulls away from me. She excuses herself and I'm stuck to work with Effie more. I don't see her again until we arrive in eleven. We're standing at the station, waiting to get loaded in our vehicle to be taken to the Justice Building._

" _Yes." Katniss whispers as she squeezes my hand._

_I look down at her confused and she's smiling up at me. " Yes what?" I challenge, not sure if I spaced and missed part of a conversation or what._

" _Yes Peeta, I'll marry you." She says in a hushed tone, looking to make sure no one else has heard._

_I can't help my enthusiasm. I capture her in a tight hug, spinning her around, kissing her face all over the place. I laugh and she squeals to be let down. I only comply because I just realized I might have been squishing the baby. Once she's on the ground, I kiss her as passionately as I can and ignore the camera's flashing and Effie's insistence that we wait until we're alone for such behavior._

" Boy can you hear me or are you half asleep?" Haymitch's voice breaks through.

I shake my head and look up to him with a confused look. " Sorry, I was just thinking about when Katniss accepted my proposal." I admit, not the least bit ashamed. Leta's fallen asleep and I hold her closer against me.

" I worry about you sometimes boy… We need to have a talk." He grunts as I look to see him sitting on the edge of one of the chairs.

I take a deep breath and nod. " Alright, what's got you acting like a responsible adult?"

" This is going to be hard to believe Peeta but I'm not lying. Snow set everything up, he made sure it was you who went into the arena and ensured that Katniss suffered." He starts off. I'm too stunned to even respond because I really have no idea what to say to him. " Snow knew about Katniss' hunting, knew she was selling to Peacekeepers. He was angry that she was so openly defying him and so he decided he was going to make her truly suffer instead of just punishing her in the usual fashion. He rigged the female tributes bowl so there were only two names in it, Katniss and Primrose Everdeen. He figured Katniss would either go into the games as volunteer or drawn Tribute or watch from home as her sister fought and died."

He falls silent and I take a moment to let this sink in. Snow really did have it out for Katniss. It made sense though. I had never understood how a girl with one entry had gotten drawn when there were so many other entries. " That's terrible…" I whisper, unable to think of anything else to say.

" That's not the worst of it. He knew of your love for Katniss, Snow really does know everything. He knew how powerful your words are and he wanted to stop you before you could possibly start an uprising. He saw you as a threat before you even knew you were one Peeta. He filled the boys bowl with only your name. He wanted you to either have to kill Katniss or stand by, watching her sister die, forever making Katniss resent you. He never really knew what you two were capable and I'm pretty sure he's regretting it now." He huffed.

I shake my head, this makes no sense to me. " You want me to believe that Snow had this plotted for a while? That he actually was plotting against Katniss and I? Two nobodies from District Twelve? Why not Gale instead of me? Why not punish the Peacekeepers allowing Katniss to do what she did?" I stammer.

" Easy, Snow likes to have fun. He did also punish Gale, he made Gale watch as Katniss went into the arena without him. Made him watch still as you two played lovers. He also did eventually punish the Peacekeepers but he didn't want to alert the rebellion of any possible threats. He didn't realize however that the rebellion was alive under his nose in his prized city."

" What are you saying Haymitch, you're not making any sense." I mutter, lounging back on the couch, pretty close to just tuning him out again.

" I'm trying to say boy pretty much that this rebellion has been around longer than you've been alive. It started with me when I discovered the force field. Others started to join it as the years have gone on and we needed a face for our rebellion but no tributes truly show the needed attributes until you two. Many of us planned on how to get you two to become the faces of this rebellion and aid us one way or another. Boy I'm begging you not to let Katniss or yourself get in the way. Whatever Snow throws your way, his glamorous offers or what he takes from you, don't go for it. When you feel like giving in or allowing her to do whatever she wants, think of not only your daughter, every other person who's fighting or fought in this rebellion or better yet, cling to the information I just gave you. Snow handpicked you two to die in that arena, don't let that just go away quietly." With that, Haymitch gets up and leaves me alone to process what he's just told me.

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><p><em><strong>Ugh not my best chapter, at least not in my opinion. This is just more of a filler chapter. I'm suffering from some pretty bad writers block right now where this story is concerned, sorry. I'm gonna try and fix it soon though, the next chapter will be better though, I'm certain of it... The song for this chapter, ' All About Us' by He is We, just made me picture Katniss and Peeta the first time I heard it so that's kind of why there's that little memory of the dancing lesson... Any way hope this chapter doesn't make anyone lose faith in this story or my writing abilities, I'm just incredibly sorry!<strong>_


	23. Monster

_**Gale**_

I can feel my sanity slipping away, every second I feel everything draining from me in a steady rhythm. It reminds me of the clock that used to hang on the wall before my father died, the slow ticking of it always drove me crazy so I wasn't too sad when it had to be sold. It's taunting me still it seems, even though there's no clock here, I can hear its slow, measured taunting. _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. She's gone. She's his. He has your baby. You lost her. You're doomed._ This plays constantly on my mind. I can't move, I just sit and stare at one of the white walls that used to play footage of Katniss and Leta being abused by Peeta. My one connection to the love of my life and my baby girl… it's gone. Taken from me just as my sanity is.

There's no footage now. I've told Snow all he wants to know and so there's no more torture of watching Katniss struggle and Peeta take pleasure in her pain. I'm being to suspect that Snow hasn't kept his side of our deal and has released my location, the rebellions would have come for me already if they had received word of my whereabouts. My food has also been arriving less often and in tinier increments. I can no longer tell the passing of time by the food because there are times when I knew it was longer than a day and still no food would come. The loss of time also helped with my slide into insanity. I truly feel like I'm not going to get out of here and I'm going to be trapped for all time.

The wall may not reflect images of Katniss or Peeta anymore but it does reflect something just as scary. The man reflected on the wall looked like a ghost, a wild one. A vicious shell of a mutt looks back at me now. His eyes were narrowed and bloodshot, fierce, cold and unforgiving. He just stares blankly at nothing; his expression blank yet calculating like he's a wolf watching his prey mosey along before him. His hair is longer than likable and wild, standing up at odd points, it hasn't be washed or brushed in weeks, or is it months now? He looks like he's been fighting for a long time, exhaustion evident in his slumped posture, his skin glistening with sweat and other grime, his build now thinner than when he first arrived. It's obviously he hasn't been sleeping well, he has dark marks under his eyes and he hasn't been eating well, his cheek bones starting to become more prominent. This is the look of a traitor, of a man who's lost everything. This man is nothing more than a monster, inside and out.

This is what I've become.

There are times, when the food comes and I scarf it down that I feel fine. The world goes hazy, things seem brighter, but I don't regret my decision. It makes me feel good, like morphling being dripped lazily into my veins. When I don't eat and the haziness wears off, I regret what I've done and start feeling sick. I feel like a monster. Like the worst human being on the planet, lower than Snow and every Gamemaker combined. I don't know what's been coming over me, but the times when I feel like I made the right decision in betraying the rebellion are few and far apart now. I don't know what's coming over me!

I feel like at any second I'm going to burst out. I want to destroy something, but there's nothing in my room to throw or kick that would even begin to make a dent in my needs. I shoot to my feet anyway, I need to move. I feel like a caged animal, yearning to be free and restless.

" I'm coming." The hushed words bounce off every surface and I blink once. Twice. Three times just to be sure I'm not dreaming or imagining it.

Two words. The owner of the voice sounding determined and unafraid.

" Katniss." I whisper, the word just falling from my lips without a second thought. I can't believe it, why would I be allowed to hear her voice now?

" I'm coming." It repeats and I spin around the room wildly, looking for some kind of visual to see what she means. Is she coming to get me? Is she coming for Snow?

" I'm coming." This time it's louder and more deserpate.

" What do you mean?" I shout before I can help myself.

" I'm coming." Now she's shouting and I can tell by the slight waver, tears are falling down her face.

They keep playing it as I continue to search for a source. I can't find anything of her on any of the walls, the ceiling or the floor. I continue to spin around desperately. " Show me!" I demand, my knees threatening to go out from under me as I tremble uncontrollably.

Instead of Katniss, another image comes up. There are doctors holding up vials of a murky look substance. They look at each other cautiously before tipping it onto various plates of food. It's different meals at different points of the day, each time the doctors seem a bit terrified. The Peacekeeper's come every time to collect the food that's been tainted with the strange liquid, carrying it before a door, slipping it through a slot in the wall. I see myself suddenly, eating the tainted food and that's when it hits me.

I've really been hijacked.

I start trembling as once more Katniss' voice breaks through the room, telling me she's coming. I grab the edge of my bed and throw it over. I've never been so mad in my life. I had been tricked into telling Snow everything he wanted. He never intended to keep his word. I began questioning even if the images of Katniss and Peeta were real or not.

The door opens and normally I'd be heavily sedated by this point but the Peacekeepers are coming quickly into the room to see what the loud clatter was. I start breathing heavily, my jaw clenched and I ball my fists at my sides. The doctors must be too busy to sedate me so they have to use force to investigate. The bed didn't help relieve anything rising within me but maybe fighting the Peacekeepers would. This thought causes the haze I get after eating to consume me and it's as if I'm not in control of myself anymore.

I take a few swings at them and pushed through. They got a few good hits in my ribs, a couple in my stomach, but somehow I'm able to continue. I stumble as I get past them and slam into the wall of the hall. I'm stunned for a moment because I'm free. Free…

I'm free!

I look to my room quickly however and see the Peacekeeper's recovering, already threatening my newfound freedom. I can still hear Katniss' words. " I'm coming." They make me turn and run down the hall blindly, her words ringing in my ear. I can't help but smile. Maybe it's the smile of a mad man, someone who's truly lost all traces of sanity, but it's there. " I'm coming Catnip!" I call out enthusiastically as I reach a staircase, taking the stairs two at a time.

" I'm coming little bird." I whisper under my breath again, hearing an alarm start blaring and the Peacekeeper's starting their pursuit. Snow is going to pay.

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><p><em><strong>Hopefully this makes up for my last chapter... Still sorry about that one... My updates might be coming a bit slower, I'm currently working on this fanfic, my other two fanfics, ' The Doctor's Game' and ' Stale Bread' as well as I'm working on an actual book with my friend in the hopes of getting published one day, but I will update every chance I get so please don't fear! I must say though that it's incredible to know that I have 160 reviews, 42,902 hits, 108 favorites and 139 alerts for this story alone! Thank you all so much and I really do love hearing your opinions about this and getting the emails alerting me that you're following me! Just thank you so much and keep it up, please!<strong>_


	24. I haven't forgotten you, promise!

I haven't forgotten about all you lovely readers or abandoned this story, I promise. I've been busy with a million different things it seems like lately. I'm working on an update now for it so please don't worry. It should be up in next couple of days. Sorry to anyone who got super excited by this just to find it's an author's note, I didn't mean to upset anyone but thought I owed you all an explanation. Just a heads up though, the next chapter is going to be a little touching and I'll update the playlist with the two songs I've been using to help inspire me so far, 'Almost Lover' by A Fine Frenzy and ' Goodnight My Love' by Honor Society (gotta love those guys!) and it'll be from Katniss' point of view.

Really quick I'm going to do a plug for two of my best friends who also write fanfics on here. Aristaline (who's really helped me big time with my story ' Stale Bread'!) and TaquetoCagy (who has no idea I'm doing this for her! *evil laugh*). I would really suggest checking out their stuff because they're really great authors and really do have incredible ideas for their 'fics. So while you're waiting for my updates, why not check them out, what have you got to lose?


	25. Broken Computer

My apologies. My laptop is currently broken and I'm unable to get to the chapter(s) that I had started working on at the moment for this an my other two fanfics. I'm going to try and re-type it on a different computer and post it as soon as I can but fingers crossed that I get it fixed soon…

Sorry and thanks for your patience.


	26. Regrets

_**This is unedited at the moment. I'm leaving town to go camping for a couple of days but wanted to get this up. Please forgive my errors...**_

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><p><em><strong>Katniss<strong>_

I'm surprisingly calm as Snow walks slow circles around me. I keep my eyes forward and ignore the sirens going on around me or the shouts of angry Peacekeepers. I know Gale escaped, I can only hope he makes it out of the building before I accidentally send everything to hell in a handbasket. I don't want him to get caught up in this mess because everything is about to explode I'm sure.

" How did Onyx manage to convince you to leave Peeta and the others?" Snow asks as he rubs his chin thoughtfully, pausing before me.

" Onyx didn't ask me to come here or to leave the others, you just simply left me without any other options. You took his wife and newborn baby. When you're holding them hostage in exchange for my life, what am I supposed to do? Allow you to kill them or keep them away from Onyx for who knows how long? I'm not like you. I actually have a soul." I whisper, my voice flat and emotionless.

He laughs a little and shakes his head almost in disbelief. " Always the martyr aren't we Ms. Everdeen." He says, taking a seat and motioning for me to sit in a chair across from him.

" _Mrs. Mellark_ actually. I'm no longer an Everdeen thanks to your threats." I correct him through clenched teeth, slowly moving to take the seat he offered.

" Ahhh that's correct, you did marry the boy finally. Made an honest woman of you did he now?" Snow inquires, waving over an Avox who placed a tray of food and drink before us.

I don't say anything at this and just glare at him, gripping the arms of the seat tightly. I hate this man with every fiber in my being and I want nothing more than to be the cause of his last breath.

" Your daughter certainly is growing into a lovely little girl. She has her father's eyes if I do say so myself." He continues, making me wonder just how great his death wish is.

" Don't you dare mention Leta." I growl as I sit up a little more in my seat, fighting the intense urge to launch myself at him and claw his eyes out.

" Very well then, I won't mention your daughter in order to keep the peace. I meant what I said when I told Onyx I wasn't going to push you to your limits. We all know what happens when the great Katniss Everdeen, well now Katniss Mellark, does when she's forced to choose." He says with a small grin as he pours himself some tea and sips lightly from the fine white teacup.

I've no idea what he means by that but I decide to just let it slide and remain glaring at him in silence.

" I suppose out time is limited so we should get right down to business. Did Onyx explain my proposition?" He asks, clearing his throat.

I shake my head slowly and look down at the ground. " I wouldn't let him. I didn't want to know much about what was expected to happen."

Snow laughs softly and I snap my head up to watch him shaking his head, smiling. " Clever girl, you might not have come had you known what I was going to ask of you." He sighs, relaxing back in his seat and gesturing to the food. " Please eat and drink your fill. I know as a new mother, and one in your position, you must be starving or dying of thirst." He says.

" I think I'll pass until after you've told me the plan if you don't mind." I tell him in a flat tone, food and drink being the last things on my mind.

" Suit yourself." He says shrugging and setting his tea aside. " You're to go on TV tomorrow. You are going to apologize to Panem for your mistakes leading up to and since the start of the rebellion. You are going to plead guilty to causing the almost downfall of Panem and taking us back to the dark days. You are going to throw your compete support behind me, President Snow, and denounce what Alma Coin is doing in Thirteen. You are going to also demand that your life be taken by the Capitol in exchange for the crimes you have committed, sparing your friends and family the shame of having you, your daughter will be left in the capable hands of Peeta. Tug at their hearts Mrs. Mellark because if you don't, I have a team ready to swoop in and bring your daughter here to the Capitol to aid in the Capitol's fight."

I can't move. I can't breathe. Everything in me stops. He's asking me to forfeit my life in order to save my daughters. I reach up a hand to grip at the collar of my shirt, unable to breathe. I choke a bit and squeeze my eyes shut. I can't let Snow use my daughter. I just have to trust that Finnick and Johanna can save me like they vowed they would.

" Alright." I whisper. " I'll plead guilty to everything and do whatever you want. Please just allow Peeta and Leta to live on without having to be used as pawns in anymore games." I plead.

Snow ponders this for a second before nodding slowly. " Very well, you do what I want and I'll allow Peeta and Leeta to live. I'll even throw in the bonus of allowing Gale to live and have his own life." He says extending his hand and motioning for the Avox to come back over.

This time, the Avox handed me a rolled up piece of paper. I read over it and see that it's a simple contract stating that I'll do what Snow wants and the terms we agreed to would be met would be met. Both the terms I had just given Snow were clearly printed on it, making my brow furrow. I looked up at him, his smug look meeting my confused one.

" I already knew what you would ask for Mrs. Mellark. You are a creature of habit and very predictable." He told me, reaching forward to hand me a pen.

I take the pen without hesitation and only break eye contact to sign the paper, handing it to him. " I suppose that saves us some time now doesn't it?" I muttered as I drop my gaze.

" That it does Mrs. Mellark." He agrees with a soft chuckle before clearing his throat. " Ahh, Mr. Hawthorne, how nice of you to join us. Mrs. Mellark here just bought you your freedom, anything you wish to say to her?"

" Katniss." His familiar voice growls and I slowly look up to meet Gale's face. His face his hard and his eyes are hurt.

He heard the whole deal.

" Well then, isn't this a lovely reunion? Katniss, Gale, I believe I'll give you two some time to talk and get caught up since your time on this planet is limited Mrs. Mellark." Snow says with a small chuckle before two Peacekeeper's enter the room.

I don't struggle one of them approaches me and cuffs my hands behind my back, I'm too stunned. I look up at Snow with wide eyes, his words sinking in. " Limited?" I choke out as Snow walks past me.

" Why yes, you're going to stand trial before all of Panem, plead guilty and go through with the death sentence you're sure to receive." He says, waving his hand and acting as if it's nothing.

The weight of his words crash down on my shoulders and I feel myself falling again, the world going dark. I hear Gale shout my name but I don't know if it's just my imagination or not.

I just agreed to die.

I'm going to die. This thought carries over into the darkness with me along with my last memory of Peeta and all my regrets from the last few hours.

_Onyx and I have a plan for how I'm going to get to the Capitol to aid in setting his family free. Johanna and Finnick suspect something's up but I keep giving them a look challenging them to try and stop me but neither one of them does anything. They didn't even stop me when they caught me adding my ' special' ingredient to the frosting of a cupcake Peeta had baked earlier._

_After a couple of days of not allowing me out of the room, I had been given the freedom to roam around now. I felt terrible for what I was about to do, but I didn't have any other choice. If I went to Snow now, then Onyx's family would be safe and released once more as well as I'd have a better chance of getting him to meet any of my own demands._

_Finnick and Johanna refused to meet my gaze as I put the special frosting on Peeta's cupcake and regular frosting on my own. I carried them into the room where Peeta was just putting Leta down for bed. I smile up at him and hold up the cupcakes as he's situating Leta in her crib so she'll be more comfortable._

" _What's that?" He asks curiously, not suspecting anything and giving me a loving smile._

" _An apology for everything I've put you through. I want to make everything better." I tell him honestly, taking a seat on the edge of out bed._

_He sighs softly and sits beside me, kissing my temple. " Darling, all is forgiven already. You just want to protect those you love." He whispered and took the special cupcake that I held towards him._

" _Thank you Peeta… I love you more than anything else in this world. I don't know what I'd do without you." I whisper, laying my head on his shoulder._

" _The same goes for me love… This has been quite the year hasn't it? You getting pregnant, us getting engaged, married, the Quarter Queel, my hijacking and this whole war… It's like we're being tested with how many of our fears we've had to face together." He whispers as he licks off the frosting of his cupcake and I nibble on mine._

_He yawns and my heart feels like it's breaking. I didn't put a whole lot of the sleeping syrup I'd been given in the frosting so it would be a slow descent for him into unconsciousness. At least this time he was suspicious of me like he was the first time I had to drug him like this…_

" _When you put it like that, it does make it seem like all of Panem has been testing us. We've faced it all together though and have still managed to survive so I suppose it can't have all been bad." I agree as I allow him to pull me with him when he started to fall back on the bed._

" _I love you Katniss and I'm still going to be with you at the end of this war and for all the rest of my life." He mutters as he kisses the top of my head, further adding to my guilt._

" _And I love you too Peeta and will only ever love you for as long as I love." I tell him honestly, a small voice in the back of my head telling me that I wasn't probably going to live very much longer most likely. The odds were most definitely not in my favor…_

_We laid there in comfortable silence for a little while. I knew the frosting had worked when I heard his soft snoring. I turned my head and looked up at his peaceful face. Peeta Mellark… My boy with bread, the boy who against all odds had come back to me and who was the perfect father…_

_I sighed softly as I began to think of what life might have been like had I not already made my mind up about Snow and Onyx. We would have left for District Four or Twelve surely, raising Leta together. Maybe we would have had another baby, giving Leta a little brother or sister and for sure giving Peeta a child, never having to question its paternity. Peeta and I would have lived rather happily and quietly, raising our family together. It would have been perfect._

_Peeta still had a chance at it if I got my way with Snow. He would raise Leta to be a fine girl, she'll be beautiful and brilliant. She'll have everything she could ever want with Peeta as a father and she'd be better off without me. Perhaps if I had just let Peeta win the games to begin with, I wouldn't be in this position, but looking at his sleeping face, I know I'd never trade any of it because then I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter._

_I wrap my arms around him and burry my face in his shoulder, sobbing hard. I know my time is short and I just don't want to go. I don't want to be without him. My whole body is shaking as I whisper my apologies and how much I love him. I almost throw a pillow at Onyx when he comes to fetch me but instead I kiss Peeta's lips and wipe at my tears._

" _Katniss…" Onyx whispers as I slip off the bed and grab a letter from my nightstand._

" _Onyx just shut up before I stick an arrow in your rump." I snap, sliding the letter into one of Peeta's hands. It's the letter from Snow that forced me to marry Peeta. I know he'll hate me for sure when he reads it, or at least I hope so because I just can't risk him following me to the Capitol._

_Onyx nods and shuts his mouth. I thank him and just walk out of the room without a second look back at Peeta or a glance at my daughter whom I will probably never see again. I'm about to face Snow and trade my life for Onyx's family and my own, the least I can do is have a little dignity…_

_I kiss Peeta's lips lightly and turn to my bedside table, digging out the letter from Snow where he told me to marry Peeta. " Hate me please. Don't come after me." I whisper, slipping the note into his hands. I leave the room without another look back at him or at Leta._

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><p><em><strong>Sorry it took so long... Next update shouldn't take so long... Also I have a story that I started writing, it's my own plotcharacters, not a fanfic, and I'd love to know any of your opinions of it! The link can be found on my profile page along with the link to the playlist for this song...**_


	27. The Idea

**Here's the new chapter, only a few more left before the end sadly... The song for the chapter has been added to the list by now hopefully and you can get to the playlist via my about me section on my profile... I do not own the Hunger Games at all, I AM NOT Suzanne Collins nor will I ever be (tear).  
><strong>

**ALSO! Soooooooo many thanks to my incredible new beta chocolate-chip-cookie-monster who has not only saved me time, but also saved me from a headache which my liver/kidneys (I can never remember which one ibuprofen is supposed to be bad for...). Thank you so much!**

**Without further ado, I give you the winner of the votes!  
><strong>

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><p><strong><span>Peeta<span>**

I punch the nearest wall, not even caring about the others in the room who instantly flinch from or glare at me. My hand naturally throbs, but the pain is good, it's shooting some kind of feeling through my incredibly numb body. Even Leta's cries aren't enough to cause much of a rise of emotion within me.

I could handle betrayal from Katniss drugging me, she's so self-sacrificing that she things she needs to save everyone without once consulting me.

I could handle anger from her handing herself over to the Capital and not seeming to spare even a thought for her daughter.

I could handle bitterness towards everyone else in our group who knew and didn't try to stop her.

What I can't handle is the thought of losing her. My wife, the girl I've been pining after for all but the first five years of my life, is set to die in a few hours unless we can pull together a plan…

"Peeta," Mrs. Everdeen says softly, approaching me.

I whirl around and narrow my eyes at her. "What?" I spat, not really meaning to be so cruel to her.

"Give me your hand, that was a bad hit," she says firmly, using her 'doctor' voice with me.

I bite my lip and hold it out for her. It's already bruising and swelling, two of my fingers even look a little crooked. The pain radiating from it already alerts me to the conclusion she's about to reach.

"It's broken," she declares with a huff, looking up at me with a serious expression.

"Thank you ," I mutter, looking down and shaking my head.

"Now don't punch another wall," she instructs, letting my hand go.

"I won't," I promise before moving over to take a seat on the couch. Haymitch is sound asleep still in his room, Prim is caring for Leta, Annie is sick in the bathroom with Johanna while Finnick sits beside me, staring at the TV.

"There's still hope to get her back Peeta," Finnick says softly after a few moments of silence.

"How's that?" I hiss, not sure how and already feeling myself giving up despite how badly I don't want to.

He leans in and grins. "I don't know about you, but this papa has at least one last adventure left in him before settling down into fatherhood," he whispers.

"What do you mean?" Finnick really has a way of confusing me and messing with my mind…

"Simple my dear Mellark… We go and fetch your blushing bride from Snow's clutches." His grin is too wide to mean anything good, it's almost crazy to be honest.

Crazy enough to make me honestly believe we stood a chance. "What did you have in mind?"


	28. Skyfall

**_Katniss_**

**_So sorry for the wait for this... We're winding down now, only a couple more chapters before the end... The Doctor's Game is also dwindled and I just wanna say now that it's been a fun ride and thanks for sharing both adventures with me! The Doctor's Game will be updated soon and once it is done, I will be adding more to A Mad Girl's Tears and Stale Bread will continue on as well!  
><em>**

_**The song for this chapter has been added to the playlist now as well so enjoy and as always, check out my profile, follow me, favorite me, review and check out my fictionpress stories!**  
><em>

The Peacekeepers come for Gale and I at what I can only assume to be a god awful hour. I haven't spoken two words since my meeting with Snow but seeing Onyx among those sent to fetch me makes me want to rip out his heart and tear it to shreds before his dying eyes.

I don't resist them however as they gag, bind and blindfold me. I simply remain still and silent, holding to the last shreds of dignity I have.

Unlike Gale.

I hear Gale fight the Peacekeepers and curse at them, making me roll my eyes. He's not the one who's going to die; I don't know why he should even fight them. I really want to tell him to suck it up and act like a man, but my lips remain still behind my gag, not even a squeak escapes me.

The keepers lead us out of the room after a short while in which I'm guessing they finally subdue Gale. I feel the one leading me squeeze my shoulder and I instinctively cringe away from him, knowing it's Onyx.

'The coward… Should have known he was with Snow all along…' I think miserably as I walk along, feeling like an animal on its way to the slaughter.

Onyx is gentle as he sets me in a seat and my gag and blindfold are removed. My eyes go wide and my mouth drops open as I realize what I'm in.

It's a hovercraft. Not just any hovercraft mind you. It's the one used to traffic Tributes to the Arena.

I start to tremble as realization hits me.

Gale's eyes are still covered; hands and feet bound together like the hogs or small cattle I'd see outside of the butchers from time to time. He ** his head to the side almost as if he can see me or he senses something is amiss.

"Catnip, what's going on?" he asks worriedly.

I open my mouth, my lips soundlessly flopping open and closed. I've never been so scared in my life at the thought of re-entering the arena. Not when I was sixteen and going in for the first time, not when I was seventeen and entering for a second time. Not when I was unsure of my family's survival and not when I was pregnant.

There's something that absolutely terrifies me now about knowing I'm going to die. There's no chance of me finding a bow to keep alive. No hope of being able to hide until the games are over, or having help from a sponsor.

"I'm going to die where I should have..." I whisper at last, acceptance washing over me.

"What?" Gale asks, once more confused.

I take a deep breath and clear my throat. "I said I'm going to die where I should have," I repeat in a stronger, and louder voice.

"No I got that, Catnip, I mean, where are you going to die?" he asks, a hint of annoyance tinting his voice.

"Gale, we're going back to the arena… Which one, I don't know, but I would know this craft from any other…" I whispered, the emotions in my voice slowly dying and fading to a flat tone.

His jaw drops and I grab the gag that was discarded beside me and shove it into his mouth to keep him from saying anything. I really don't need him to speak and shatter the illusion my mind is working hard to conjure in my mind.

"I'm going to die in the arena aren't I?" I ask firmly, my voice void of any emotions.

"Very observant of you, , of course you were always the brains and I've no doubt you would have survived without your husband since he didn't exactly contribute much to your little alliance," Snow's voice speaks behind me.

I whirl around so that I can face him, my face void of emotion as well. "How am I to die?" I demand.

He sighs heavily and steps into the area, taking a seat by the door as he thinks for a moment. "I considered Trackerjacker's, the mutts that took your husband's leg, letting you starve in the arena or even letting the new generation of career's fight you but only once death seemed befitting as one like you," he muses, waving a hand around to wave it all off as if it's no big deal. "But naturally this was all before your lover was captured along with your mother, sister, and the lovely Odairs. Did you know the blushing is pregnant, Katniss?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

I don't answer him, my knees threatening to out at any second. "Let them go Snow, this is between you and I. I let myself be handed over to you in exchange for their freedom!" I tell him, starting to feel angry.

"Things have changed, you see, , I have spoken with your husband and a new agreement has been made. will be taking your place as sacrifice if you will and you will have some things to answer for yourself. There are some things, , that even your husband cannot save you from," he told me in a low, menacing tone.

Before I had time to respond, I feel a prick in my neck, the world grows dark and the last thing I see is Snow's taunting smile…


	29. Deep Memories, Deeper Plots

**_Holy crap it's been a long time! I'm so sorry! Between writing for my original plot, planning a wedding and a vacation, I have just had no time. I'm so sorry everyone and promise that updates will be coming up more often, I swear! I hope I haven't lost too many of you yet, so I hope you enjoy the following! The song for this one is the Sam Tsui cover of Applause, it can be found on youtube. Enjoy!_**

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><p><span><strong><em>Gale<em>**

I pace my confines slowly, I can hear Leta crying next to my cell, Mellark trying hard to comfort the scared infant. This breaks my heart, knowing that this is the man I'm leaving my precious baby girl in the hands of.

It's not that I don't trust Mellark, no I think he'll be a fantastic dad.

Scratch that. I _know_ that Mellark will be the best dad that little girl could ever ask for.

It's the jealousy eating at me, tearing me apart on the inside. That's what has me most regretful and agitated now as I pause, resting my forehead on the walls.

I'll be gone tonight, buried deep in the ground or scattered in the winds, but I won't ever get to see anymore of Leta's firsts.

No first steps.

No first words.

No first smiles.

I got to see her first breath, but apparently that's the only one I'm destined to see.

I bite back a lump in my throat, threatening to cause me to choke.

The baby's innocent cries fill my ears, the helplessness of my situation washes over me like the river's surface from when I went on my first hunt.

I was barely five years old the first time my dad dragged me out into the woods. The food had run out once again and we couldn't borrow from anyone else in town. We weren't the only one's struggling, Mr. Everdeen had mentioned there was nothing left in his house for his family. With daughters so young, my father refused to let him risk his own life going out into the woods, begged him to wait a little longer and instead, he and I would go fetch the food for our families.

"You know, I've been in worse binds than this." I call with a heavy sigh, sinking to my knees. The memories of that day wash over me, good and bad.

"Are you talking about when you were whipped?" Peeta pipes up after a few moments of silence, obviously surprised I'd be talking with him. "I'm sorry, but I don't think Katniss, Haymitch and I can use our celebrity to save you from this fate."

"I'm not asking you do that… Once I'm dead this whole thing will be over anyway, why prolong the healing of this wound?"

"Your death isn't going to bring peace, trust me. Katniss will see to Snow's death personally I can almost guarantee."

"Oh, I don't doubt that for a single second, but this gives her something to focus on, not just the whole war at once. This gives you the martyr you'll both need to keep fighting and to never give up because let's be fair, she you didn't know those Tributes as well as she's known me. Or Cray. Or really anyone else back home. Sure you two had your friends and innocents, but that's not the same as when I'm killed by Snow." I argue, trying not to lose sight of why I had started this conversation.

"What are you getting at Hawthorne?"

"Just hear me out, OK?" I breathe, closing my eyes. "My first hunting trip my dad told me it was the most important one I'd ever go on. Katniss' dad was terrified, Katniss was very ill, so frail and he was sure death wasn't far behind and her mom was so starved herself that she didn't have anything in her to be able to tend to infant Prim. My own mother was struggling to take care of new born Rory and myself when there was no food or even broth to put in our bellies, just a small cup of pine needle tea to try and tease our stomachs into thinking it had nutrients enough in it.

"We trekked all morning through those trees, seeing no sign or deer, not the flush of a bird, not even the squeak of a mouse. We were exhausted and by dusk, we had resigned ourselves to accept that we would return home with arms empty and to broke hearts. My father stopped me and looked deep in my eyes and apologized over and over again for failing us all. I didn't know why he would say it to me, but I hugged him and tried to console him." I whisper, closing my eyes and picturing it all so clearly.

"_I've failed your mother, you, Rory, the Everdeen's, I've failed you all. When you all needed me the most, I wasn't able to provide and now that little girl you tease about the plaid dress will probably die very soon." My father's voice chokes as he fights back his own tears. The haunted look in his eyes burns into my very soul and I know in that second, I'll never forget that look…_

"My father held his head low, a defeated man, and begun to walk me back to the fence. You've never been outside of the District in the winter so you'd have troubling picturing it, but there's a fast moving river that runs through the main part where the majority of the large animals live in. It's so deep that when it freezes it never freezes completely, but my father said it was frozen enough to walk on safely. I had no reason to doubt the man, I trusted him so completely…" My voice trails off softly, trying not to falter but the memory cuts deep and sharp like the experience itself.

"What does it have to do with everything happening?" Peeta groans, obviously growing impatient with my short jaunt down memory lane.

"That day, I thought I was going to die."

"You fell through the ice, didn't you?"

"I did… I fell through a thin spot covered by snow…" I shiver, closing my eyes and letting all the pain and fear sweep over and through me as they did in those seconds. "I wasn't under long, but it seemed like forever. I hadn't caught my breath and it had rushed out in a scream when I'd slipped under. I banged on the ice desperately and something in my young mind told me it was truly the end so soon… My father however, he was quicker than even that raging river. He ran ahead and broke the ice, able to grab me out before I went very far. I was the luckiest boy in all of Panem that day, I could have been so much worse off."

"You were deathly ill…" A soft voice whispers from outside.

"Katniss?" Peeta and I both ask, confused.

I rush to the door, looking through the small barred window and see Katniss in the cell across from us. "Snow ordered me down here a while ago, but I was listening to you too closely to make a noise." She apologizes, gripping her bars.

"What's going on?" Peeta demands, but she shakes her head.

"It doesn't matter… When you fell through the ice Gale, you got so sick. You were shivering, your breath shallow and barely audible as your father laid you on my parent's bed beside me. I remember watching as my mother rushed to try and strip you from your soaked clothing as your mother tried to force white whisky down your throat to try and warm you. My parents bed was right by the fire, but you kept shaking…"

"My father started yelling it was all his fault and your father had to take him outside. I couldn't warm myself, no matter how many blankets our moms put on me."

"Gale, I know where this is going, but I don't think it's going to be the same." She whispers defeatedly.

"What? What the hell is he talking about Katniss? He's been going on and on about this story, but it feels pointless." Peeta huffs.

"He thinks that since he cheated death before, and while he has countless times, he can do it this time. He was literally on death's door, his heart barely beat and his breath was so low and slow that it was hardly noticeable. He pulled through at the last moment because of a trick my mom pulled with some herbs, but that won't happen again."

"Catnip…" I plead softly, urging to see my side and just relax.

"There is no trick. There is no special tea to make this all go away. Gale, accept it." She snaps before I hear her throw herself on her bed.

Even Peeta shuffles even and I know that's the end of the discussion. I hang my head and take in a deep breath, stumbling to my cot.

For a second I had hope. For a second I had a prayer. Now, I have nothing.

I'm going to die.

Snow is in fact going to kill me, Mellark and Katniss will be free and I'll never see my daughter again…

A lone tear slips from my eye before I punch the wall.

I don't want to go out in this fashion, I don't want to give Snow such satisfaction as me rolling over like a submissive dog. I'll do anything else he wants, but I won't have my life sacrificed as a power play between him and Katniss, that's not the way I will go out.

Bitterness and anger bubble up inside of me and I leap back to my feet. I grab the pad of paper Snow gave me to write down any last thoughts or confessions, something he could twist and turn into positive propaganda.

I scribble a short note on it and pass it to the Peacekeeper outside my cell. He nods and grunts something I don't understand and he turns to leave.

"I'm not giving up that easily… You bring shame to Twelve is you do to Mellarks…" I sneer before laying back down and waiting for Snow's response.

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><p><strong><em>I hope you enjoyed it! Please review it, follow it, follow me and I love favorites as well! You can also follow me on Twitter (Ambird92) and on Facebook! Until next time, may the odds be ever in your favor!<em>**


	30. I AM RETURNING!

First of all, I just want to say thank you to everyone who is reading this because it means you've stuck with me this while time.

This last year has been a very long and stressful year for me. I got married finally and had to plan that out, as well as the honeymoon. I had a very stressful job that left me so mentally exhausted that writing wasn't possible. Then I started the process of moving with my husband to our very own house.

So as you can kind of tell, it's been a very busy year for me and writing hasn't really been able to be my top priority.

I also had a bit of a hit to my confidence with some very bad reviews. I'm human, I make errors and I appreciated being told, I just wasn't expecting such harsh ones or for being torn apart over it.  
>I've moved on from it all now and I will be writing more! This is my return announcement and I am thrilled to say it! A new update will be coming in the next day or two, cross my heart! I haven't given up on these stories, they are still my pride and joy and I hope you won't give up on me!<p>

Thank you so much everyone, you're the best fans and the most patient! Happy new year and don't lose faith in me this year please


	31. Wars End

_**Gale**_

I can hear the guards coming down the walk way. The plane had shuddered as it landed, alerting Katniss, Peeta and I to the inevitable. We all know what's about to happen, and we all know that there's nothing we can do to prolong it.

None of us dare say a word. Even Leta is silent.

My breath is held when they stop in front of my cell. This is it. My head is high as I stand firm. My mind is made up. I will not linger on what has happened and I won't have a single regret moving forward now. Snow wants me to be broken, but I will show him just how strong Gale Hawthorne really is.

The door swings open and no words are exchange, I know exactly what I need to do. I glare at the white clad men, though I can't hold any grudges against them. They are just trying to make a life for themselves, maybe have wives back in Two or are just kids, hard to tell with the masks over their faces. Most are just trying to earn a lifetime of wealth in just a short amount of time or see the world, this being their only chance. I can't even hold any of my old ill feelings against Cray, he was just one player in a massive game of life and death.

Walking down the hall, my eyes keep forward and I refuse to allow myself to look at Katniss or Peeta's cells because my resolve will crumble. I know I am but a man, human and have the ability to break and crumble like any other, but I wish to die with as much dignity as Snow will allow me. I will not beg or plead for my life when there are three others at stake, two of which I love more than my own.

My teeth grind in the elevator ride, though confusion crosses my face when it opens to another hall, though more lavish. This halls leads to Snow's study, I've been down it before. I venture a glance at the head guard as he motions for me to lead the way down the hall.

"Snow wants a word with you. He believes his office is the best place to do so." He tells me in a gruff tone, pushing me forward when I hesitate.

"Whatever deal he's going to offer me, I'm more than prepared to turn him down. Death is more friendly and welcoming than this snake." I grumble, though I do step forward. No sense in causing unnecessary pain. My life's going to end anyway, what's the difference if I humor the old tyrant with a last meeting or not?

At least this way I can physically spit in his face as I've always wanted to.

The Peace Keepers open the doors as we reach them and Snow slowly looks up from his desk. He has a guest with him, a woman. Her back is to me, so all I can see are bare shoulders, a thin purple strap around his neck and long, curly white hair. He barely waves his fingers and the guards leave the three of us, closing the door with an almost inaudible thud.

"Well Mr. Hawthorne, it seems all your efforts have been for nothing. Are you still prepared to decline any bargains I might have to offer?" He asks in his cool, sickly calm tone. The way he talks of ending ones life, it's disgustingly casual. This man has no second thoughts of ending a man where he stands.

"If you already know this, why even bother to bring me in here?" I sneer, rolling my eyes.

"Mr. Hawthorne, I'd like you to meet my youngest daughter Aristaline." He said, motioning to the woman before him.

She turns around and I'm actually a little surprised. She's strikingly beautiful. Her skin is pale, smooth and flawless. Her eyes are bright a teal color, warm, welcoming and sparkling, long lashes framing them. Rosy, full lips, high cheekbones and a light blush. She's just radiating as she offers a small smile and holds out a dainty hand to me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Hawthorne." She says softly, her voice sweet and dripping sincerity.

I swallow a lump in my throat as I shake her hand, in awe of how soft she is. Delicate. That's the only way to describe her in all honestly.

I drop her hand and quickly dart my eyes back up to Snow. "What does this have to do with me?" I demand.

"Well Gale, I find myself in a bit of a bind. You see, Katniss is still popular with the people of the Capital. Hard to stop the trends that she's started, even harder to stop the love and desire people have to possess things she has had claim of." He starts, sipping slowly from a teacup with white roses all over it.

"And?" I prompt after a moment's pause, when he doesn't continue.

"You once were Katniss'. A potential father of her child, old lover and even a faked cousin, you are a prize to many of her _enthusiasts_. My daughter here is among those who would like to collect and cherish things that were hers at one point, including you."

My eyes grow wide as I look between him and the smiling woman. Anger boils up inside me, rage, bitterness, resentment and urge to kill them both.

"You want me like Odair?" I spat, nose wrinkling in utter disgust. Had I really just been thinking this woman was lovely?

"No, of course not!" She gasps, shaking her head. "I would never think of you as that. What I am looking for is more than a sexual arrangement. I have seen the way you look at her, act and are truly a good person deep down, you are an excellent friend and companion. I am simply looking for that. I am not asking for love, but I would like to take you as my husband." She explains, a deep blush painting her cheeks.

"She's made a reasonable offer. I let you marry her, you get to live. We have a double for you right now, ready to take you place. A war criminal that deserves to pay for his crimes against his Panem and will be glad to take your sentence over his own, it's much less painful this way." Snow pipes up, sitting back in his seat. The look he gives me is a challenging one.

"What happens to the man who is replacing me, if I refuse?" I ask, knowing that it's going to be a factor in what I do.

He takes a long pause, savoring this moment; like a wolf, he can sense I'm the weak one of the pack. That's exactly why he chose me. I'm the one most likely to crack of Peeta, Katniss and I. For all my talk, it's been me he's tortured more thoroughly. At least Mellark got the venom and didn't face Snow; this man likes to taunt me personally.

"If you refuse Gale, I will have him strung up and a new type of mutt will slowly feed on him, killing him at an extremely unpleasant rate." He vows, the way his eyes narrow and I know he's serious about this.

"If, not saying I'm going to, but if I take this offer, I had a few demands." I state, hoping that maybe I can gain some ground and not be a complete failure at this.

"Of course, what is it you desire?" Aristaline asks. Her voice is so sweet and sincere; it's a complete contrast from Snow's. Are they really related?

"One, this man who is taking my place, he is killed quickly." I tell them, my eyes trained on Snow since he is the one who will decide how this whole twist of events will go.

He nods slowly. "Naturally."

"Two, I saw Keepers take Mellark's family before the bombing. I've said nothing in case they've already been killed, but if they're still alive, I would like them to be allowed to live freely and where I can see them."

"I will check the records. Might I ask why you're so keen on seeing Peeta Mellark's safe when he seems to be your enemy?"

"That is my third and final demand. I want Leta. I don't care how you orchestrate it, but I want to raise Leta as my own. Katniss can't know I'm going to have her nor can she ever."

"That's perfect! I love Leta, she's just the cutest little baby and I'd love to be a mom to her!" Aristaline gushes, looking excitedly at Snow. I know I should be sickened by this, but it's actually helpful and encouraging.

"You want Leta for your own and I'm assuming you want her to grow up knowing Peeta's family?" Snow asks, curiosity shining in his eyes.

"Mellark has been a good father and husband, I owe him at least a little slack. I'll allow Leta to know his family and be raised with them, but I don't owe him anything more and I'm the one who deserves to raise her.

Snow nods and stands, hand extended. "Well then, if that's all, welcome to the family Gale Hawthorne. I'll have preparations made right away for everything. Until the correct time, you'll be given a private room to get cleaned up." He said as I shook his hand.

Yet another black spot on my soul, but at least this devil keeps his word. The thrilled look on his daughter's face assures me it was at least a partially good idea. She's pretty enough and seems nice enough as well, she'll do. I always wanted to get married, and so long as I get Leta, who cares what I have to do to get her?

I nod my head and let the men lead me off to my new plush room. I know Katniss and Peeta are in those claustrophobic cells, pacing and thinking the worse with Leta, but I take a moment to celebrate. I've earned my freedom, gotten everything I've wanted and gained a future with no loss on my end. Maybe isn't so bad to be Snow's new favorite toy?


	32. Please don't give up on me!

I am so, so, soooo sorry for not updating any of my stories lately! My husband and I found out we are expecting our first baby and between the excitement of that and the normal symptoms of pregnancy, I just haven't had any ambition and have been too tick to write anything! I'm starting to feel better as the weeks pass so I'm able to sit on my computer for longer than five minutes. I am hoping that I'll be able to get some updates out in the next couple of days if not a week. Please just don't lose faith in me, I'm going to do my very best to write something to make up for keeping you all waiting!

Please don't give up on me just yet!

Sincerely,

SS


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